"I have activated my prayer app and I ask each and every one of you to keep Fappy in your prayers until this incident is resolved. Hail Fappy!"

"Fappy" an anti fap dolphin? Seems legit

ndye"Fappy" an anti fap dolphin? Seems legit

hahahahaha I want to believe Nate stop ruining it

Why do people care if kids jack off?

spaceghostpurpWhy do people care if kids jack off?

You can get your hand pregnant

Isn't it funny how the religious who are always first to condemn sexual acts are themselves the ones who are the most obsessed with sex

Tom Downey with the Phoenix Police Department, who took Horner into custody, spoke with Arizona news station ABC 15 about the arrest. "We thought at first he was possibly intoxicated or mentally unstable, ya know, talking about children and how deadly it is for them to masturbate. Telling us he was in town with a Christian organization aimed at talking with children about the dangers of masturbation. Saying things like, 'They need to stop playing on the Devil's playground, stop pounding their Devil stick or ringing the Devil's doorbell'," Downey said. "Things got very odd when Horner broke down crying in the back of my cruiser and began making noises, kind of like a fish, saying that he believed himself to be an actual dolphin. It was really strange."

……. wot

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that is fucked up. that shit is torture. what the fuck.....

The Bible says nothing at all about masturbation. It's not a sin to masturbate lol....

montananthat is fucked up. that shit is torture. what the fuck.....

No chance that is real

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"self raping"

Hey guys. It's a satire website. Not real. Sorry.

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Lol real funny..

All jokes aside what I said was 100% correct, soooo FRIG OFF LAHEY.

.frenchyIt's not a sin to masturbate lol....

The catholic church would say otherwise

.frenchyThe Bible says nothing at all about masturbation. It's not a sin to masturbate lol....

Doesn't say anything about rape either.

zzzskizzzDoesn't say anything about rape either.

Exactly. Who ever said rape was a bad thing?

zzzskizzzDoesn't say anything about rape either.

Or homosexuality

zzzskizzzDoesn't say anything about rape either.

hope it doesn't say anything about incest...

zzzskizzzDoesn't say anything about rape either.

There are actually parts in the bible not just condoning, but promoting rape, funnily enough

.FRY.hope it doesn't say anything about incest...

2 Kings 13:1-14 http://www.drbo.org/chapter/10013.htm

Incestuous rape

las.The catholic church would say otherwise

There is NOTHING in the Bible saying that masturbation is a sin.

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What? I'm aware you have to be a virgin to be a church leader. Fapping doesn't mean you lose your virginity.

Masturbation can help you find sexual release when you cannot control your desire nor satisfy it through a marital relationship and in this sense it can be helpful. Screw off. And Fuck you zzzskizz you're atheist so stop assuming you know anything. I'm a confirmed roman catholic, I think I might know a little more than you there guy.

Bring on the hate.

.frenchyThere is NOTHING in the Bible saying that masturbation is a sin.

What? I'm aware you have to be a virgin to be a church leader. Fapping doesn't mean you lose your virginity.

Masturbation can help you find sexual release when you cannot control your desire nor satisfy it through a marital relationship and in this sense it can be helpful. Screw off. And Fuck you zzzskizz you're atheist so stop assuming you know anything. I'm a confirmed roman catholic, I think I might know a little more than you there guy.

Bring on the hate.

I know. Notice how I said The Catholic Church? But wait, isn't the Vatican/Catholic Church supposed to directly preach God's word, considering the Pope is his holy translator? A lot of inconsistencies here - is masturbation a sin or not?

Also, http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/religion/8030672/US-atheists-know-more-about-religion-than-believers-quiz-finds.html

Dude, there is not one thing in the holy bible that even talks about masturbation. this is not even an argument lol.

.Hugo.You can get your hand pregnant

Seriously how can the go against masturbating. How do they think the Virgin Mary got pregnant.

.frenchyThere is NOTHING in the Bible saying that masturbation is a sin.

What? I'm aware you have to be a virgin to be a church leader. Fapping doesn't mean you lose your virginity.

Masturbation can help you find sexual release when you cannot control your desire nor satisfy it through a marital relationship and in this sense it can be helpful. Screw off. And Fuck you zzzskizz you're atheist so stop assuming you know anything. I'm a confirmed roman catholic, I think I might know a little more than you there guy.

Bring on the hate.

I was baptized, and went to church for the first 15 years of my life. my favorite passage of the Bible is ezekiel 23:20, and as someone who's looked at both sides with an unbiased view. I'd say I'm probably more level headed and more versed in this than you are.

but really, why is this shit federally funded. It's bad enough people are this crazy, but to have us pay for this nut job to go on a "31-city nationwide school tour" is absolutely ridiculous.

.frenchyDude, there is not one thing in the holy bible that even talks about masturbation. this is not even an argument lol.

I know, you half-wit. How can you not understand what I'm getting at. God/Bible doesn't mention masturbation, therefore it can't officially be considered sinful; Catholic church does regard it as sinful though. SO, is it sinful, or not?

las.I know, you half-wit. How can you not understand what I'm getting at. God/Bible doesn't mention masturbation, therefore it can't officially be considered sinful; Catholic church does regard it as sinful though. SO, is it sinful, or not?

No, it's not.

The Bible > Pope.

And i'm aware the Catholic church says it's a sin. But many Catholics do disagree with that. I don't really see how it's sinning but whatever.

.frenchyNo, it's not.

The Bible > Pope.

And i'm aware the Catholic church says it's a sin. But many Catholics do disagree with that. I don't really see how it's sinning but whatever.

But the Pope, thus the Catholic Church, claims to be God's holy messenger and translator.

So either the Bible is false and it's not actually the word of God, or the Pope, who is the head of your church, is lying.

Which one is it? Again, inconsistencies

So is someone's spelling ^

>“Things got very odd when Horner broke down crying in the back of my cruiser and began making noises, kind of like a fish, saying that he believed himself to be an actual dolphin. It was really strange.”

This is fake, right?