So you and your new found bathroom bro arent going to play battleshits?

So you're scared to poop in public bathrooms and me to feel bad for you? Shit on the soccer field at recess or something if it's such a big deal.

PhookaIf you go into a bathroom looking to shit, you want an empty bathroom, if someone is in said bathroom occupying a stall don't pretend to blow your nose, wash your hands or what have you, leave. Know that if you were in there position they would want you gone.

If you go into the bathroom to wiz, and someone is in a stall, hurry and wiz. Then leave. Don't talk to anyone and don't wash your hands. Just know that if you were in that stall you would the person coming in to leave ASAP.

If you find yourself in a stall, only to have someone enter the stall adjacent to you, this is a phenomenon known as quantum lock, you are not responsible for this, and have the restroom right of way. remember the fundamental attribution error however, and don't be a dick to him.

Empathy and sympathy are the biggest parts of public restroom behavior.

I do this everyday at work. I don't understand why places don't just install huge venting fans in bathrooms. Nobody wants to hear people shit and piss esp if they are sitting right next to you. I never understood why it was dead silent in a bathroom.

If you are using the urinal next to someone else it is rude not to introduce yourself and shake hands with your new urinal neighbor

I can understand this for girls but then again girls don't poop so maybe not.

But for guys? Why are guys afraid of pooping in public? I'll just leave this here for you:

CheddarJackI can understand this for girls but then again girls don't poop so maybe not.

But for guys? Why are guys afraid of pooping in public? I'll just leave this here for you:

On the rare occasions that I poop...and the super rare occasions I poop at work, it really becomes a big deal if someone walks into the rest room whilst I'm in there. Sometimes it becomes a stalemate and usually I end up running out of the bathroom fast and finding another one to use just to wash my hands.

To make matters worse, at work our bathrooms as co-ed (just like Ally McBeal) so I could be in there and a guy could come in and poop in the stall next door; super gross...

When someone comes into the bathroom while im pooping i do my best to push out the loudest nastiest farts. If I cant fart I pull out my phone and use a fart machine app

BoogieWomanOn the rare occasions that I poop...and the super rare occasions I poop at work, it really becomes a big deal if someone walks into the rest room whilst I'm in there. Sometimes it becomes a stalemate and usually I end up running out of the bathroom fast and finding another one to use just to wash my hands.

To make matters worse, at work our bathrooms as co-ed (just like Ally McBeal) so I could be in there and a guy could come in and poop in the stall next door; super gross...

Girls don't poop. Quit making up stories. But coed bathrooms are really a thing?

What I like to do when I get to a new bathroom is see how far I can be away from the urinal and still hit it. One time in HS I got to the other wall. Then I realized someone can come in and see my epic piss arc, so I returned to the urinal.

I'm more concerned about the fact that it was almost impossible to shit in between classes. 5 mins is not enough time to pinch one out in a successful manner

PhookaIf you go into the bathroom to wiz, and someone is in a stall, hurry and wiz. Then leave. Don't talk to anyone and don't wash your hands.

While your defecation insecurities may be somewhat common, I do hope you can at least wash your hands.

As far as public dumping, I'm with EBI here, there's no sense in getting wound up like a top about the whole thing, embrace the absurdity of the situation and give 'er a good push. I myself have shared a laugh with an anonymous neighbor over our putrid plight and thunderclaps of relief.

DeebieSkeebiesI'm more concerned about the fact that it was almost impossible to shit in between classes. 5 mins is not enough time to pinch one out in a successful manner

"May I please use the restroom?"

"No! You should have gone at passing period!"

DeebieSkeebiesI'm more concerned about the fact that it was almost impossible to shit in between classes. 5 mins is not enough time to pinch one out in a successful manner

Glad I've never had that problem. Speed shitting 4 lyfe. The most time consuming thing for me is building a next and wiping. Actual shitting is like 30 seconds.

-MK-"May I please use the restroom?"

"No! You should have gone at passing period!"

Thats when you threaten to piss/shit yourself. I guess the teachers can get in some deep shit (lol) if they don't let you go and you piss yourself.

theabortionatorGlad I've never had that problem. Speed shitting 4 lyfe. The most time consuming thing for me is building a next and wiping. Actual shitting is like 30 seconds.

That's no fun, I love shitting

I like shitting by myself.

One time I had to take a burly one. I'm mid shit when this fucking ginger walks in and starts brushing his teeth...for over 5 minutes (in a dorm bathroom). Then, then this fucker had the audacity to plop is pale skinned ass in the stall directly next to me. There are 6 stalls in the bathroom, I picked the one second furthest to the right. This jackwagon decides it must be a nice day for battle shits because all the other stalls were available but he chose the one closest to me. You're damn right about that quantum jibberjabber, I was out of my element.

BoogieWomanOn the rare occasions that I poop...and the super rare occasions I poop at work, it really becomes a big deal if someone walks into the rest room whilst I'm in there. Sometimes it becomes a stalemate and usually I end up running out of the bathroom fast and finding another one to use just to wash my hands.

To make matters worse, at work our bathrooms as co-ed (just like Ally McBeal) so I could be in there and a guy could come in and poop in the stall next door; super gross...

if you scooch your butt the farthest forward it can go, no one will know youre pooping because it hits the part of the toilet with no water. nahmsayin?

Is it really that complicated for you? Walk in, do your business, walk out.

thread reminds this video that was going around facebook a while ago.

refer to sig

butterslut.if you scooch your butt the farthest forward it can go, no one will know youre pooping because it hits the part of the toilet with no water. nahmsayin?

Pretty sure that's an excellent way to set up a log jam.

this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZO9tMetxno&feature=kp

I usually take a jar of Nutella with me.

omnidataI usually take a jar of Nutella with me.

Thats the best thing i ever saw

You havent spent much time in airports.

omnidataI usually take a jar of Nutella with me.

I'm actually genuinely excited to try this.

omnidataI usually take a jar of Nutella with me.

All fun and games until you find out that they're deathly allergic to hazelnut.

ILLinoisanceAll fun and games until you find out that they're deathly allergic to hazelnut.

Could make for an interesting headline though.

theabortionatorCould make for an interesting headline though.

Innocent victim trying to help a co-worker wipe poisoned by hazelnut spread

omnidataI usually take a jar of Nutella with me.

You could use real poop too. That would be funnier.

.undetectedYou could use real poop too. That would be funnier.

only for the prankster

elm0only for the prankster

Isn't that the point?

.undetectedYou could use real poop too. That would be funnier.

I don't know if I'd want "Assaulting a stranger with poop" on my record.

theabortionatorI don't know if I'd want "Assaulting a stranger with poop" on my record.

yeah, that'd be pretty shitty.

I used to be terrified of shitting in public bathrooms. then i realized, "wow i'm a bitchmade faggot". now i embrace it and fuckin send it and schedule my shits so i can save toilet paper by only shitting at school. win win

I upper decker very toilet (even my own) and smear poop everywhere

I remember in highschool there was so old guy that would smear shit all over the bathroom at mcdonalds. They actually had to ban him from using the bathroom there.

Fucking weird. I can't imagine that conversation. You can still order food but you can't use the bathroom because we know you smeared shit all over everything multiple times.

man if the people on my floor were this polite.

when i pee i always go for the low urinal because i don't want to be so close to it

omnidataI usually take a jar of Nutella with me.

ILLinoisanceAll fun and games until you find out that they're deathly allergic to hazelnut.

yangumaneInnocent victim trying to help a co-worker wipe poisoned by hazelnut spread

Lost it. I love ns so much

milk_manLost it. I love ns so much

It's shame, ns hates you

-MK-It's shame, ns hates you

Dang that sucks...

I really wish I cared

milk_manDang that sucks...

I really wish I cared

Shut up pussy, we all know you care

DeebieSkeebiesShut up pussy, we all know you care