Advice for keeping things friends vs. relationship?

theabortionatorSo this guy I've been hooking up with for the last couple weeks. He was all about being friends with benefits. I'm totally cool with that, it's perfect for the moment. Anyway he was texting me a bunch and then last night was really all about it. Was telling me all this stuff, showing me stupid instagram pictures. Said something about something if I lived with him. Looking up our signs and horoscopes or whatever and this and that.

Idk. He's cool enough, it's convenient, but I'm not into him like that. Any advice on keeping things mellow? Or should I just run away?

What do you do in these situations? We live in the same building too.

I've never dated someone I lived in the same building with so I don't know how well this will go over, personal discretion is obviously advised haha. I would just tell him something along the lines of "hey, I know we've been hooking up for a while and we said we'd be friends with benefits. I'm not into you in the sense that I'd want a more serious relationship and I'd really like to keep things on the mellow side."

I'd kinda try to tactfully let him know that friends with benefits is what you can do at the moment and I'd make sure you make it clear before it goes any further. Then you can let him make the choice on whether he wants to continue that situation or not. It kinda sucks when we've drawn our lines with someone and they start to overstep them. You don't wanna be a dick but you also don't want to take care of a relationship that you didn't want in the first place.

I hope it's not too awkward still being in the same building! Is he on the same floor or something?

if it feels natural just go with it

it's just pussy. i dont know why ppl make such a big deal about it.

like if u think it feels right, just roll with it

SkierBetchI've never dated someone I lived in the same building with so I don't know how well this will go over, personal discretion is obviously advised haha. I would just tell him something along the lines of "hey, I know we've been hooking up for a while and we said we'd be friends with benefits. I'm not into you in the sense that I'd want a more serious relationship and I'd really like to keep things on the mellow side."

I'd kinda try to tactfully let him know that friends with benefits is what you can do at the moment and I'd make sure you make it clear before it goes any further. Then you can let him make the choice on whether he wants to continue that situation or not. It kinda sucks when we've drawn our lines with someone and they start to overstep them. You don't wanna be a dick but you also don't want to take care of a relationship that you didn't want in the first place.

I hope it's not too awkward still being in the same building! Is he on the same floor or something?

Yeah. I guess it's gotta be like that. Just sucks that we talked about this and then all the sudden its diffetent.

Were supet close in the building but i dont think or at least hope that wont be weird if
things we got weird.

Convenience is a great reason to get laid, but not really what id want to base a relationship on. Ill just tell him to chill. And if he doesnt listen ghost him lol.

Ive got enough stuff without weird tension and all that.

Thanks for the advice

Lay down the ground rules. Have an upfront conversation so you both know what to expect in the coming months. It isn't easy and can be awkward... but its better than being a player and getting burned in the end.

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Honestly, a lot of the time there is nothing either side can really do to change the outcome. If buddy is going to develop feelings for you, buddy is going to develop feelings for you. People don't really decide who they're going to fall for, so all the gentlemen's agreements made in advance won't help you. The key to minimize fallout is to recognize when he's getting in too deep and cutting things off on his behalf (because he probably won't). If you're getting the sense that it's at that point, it's probably at that point. If you're unconcerned about the fallout, and are okay with eventually hurting him more, you can keep going - just don't act surprised when it blows up in your face.

Source: I've now met both of my FWB's parents, and the setup is 100% not going to end well.