Wuddup erreone. H8 to make too threds to kwik, but dis is sometin i need to shere.
Last nite, i wuz abouta go to da gym nd I wuz finna poop so dat I woodnt exurt maself to herd wile liftin nd shyt ma pants.
So i go to da batroom nd unfortoonately da toilet is pluged but it luked ok becuz dere wasnt n e poop in dere. I gues som1 went dere befour me nd flushd aftur dey went shyt but it got pluged so dere wuz dirte papur in dere but no shyte. Also, I gues dey decided 2 go pee after dey shat, but dey didnt wanna unplug da toilyt.
Anyway, i'm not tryna unpleg somwon elsez shyt so i be lyke "biaaaatch, ima shyt nd DEN unplug" (u no i got dem bigass shytes dat i gota unpleg aneway, finna cop to birds wit won stone xD).
So i sit doen nd get to ma buziness. U no how sumtimes u got dem big shytes dat jus snake doen all smuthe so dat it in u ass nd in da water at da same tyme? Well das not wet happened fer me. It broke hafway thru nd da bottom pert fel HERD into dat pisse watur. I new wat wuz gon a happpen but i kood not brase in time.
Da shyt fallz nd parts dat water lyke fukin moses. Den, it revurberatez, splashin da watur STRATE UP:
itz to late. I'm fuked. The kewled urine splashez up nd I yell "O NOOOOOOO" as it enterz ma buthole, shokin ever e fibur of ma ver e being. I sink bak on to da toilut seet. Panik setz in.
Wat do I du?? i tink to maself. Scramblin, i swipe some paper, pat doen dere to abzorb exess likwid. I take sum wipez, nd go HAM disenfekting dat ass. Twunty minutez latur, I fele klean enuf tu exit.
So fer, I'm not infekted or expeerincing side effekts... Witch is gud, but tbh i alwaze thod id be doing da peein, not be gettin dat pee in ma own butt.