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The bad pun thread

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nochill
Posts: 144 - Karma: 624
Bring your best/worst puns to the table now. Here's my contribution. The shovel was truly groundbreaking but it was the broom that swept the nation.
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May 26 2015 10:26PM
94 31
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JGWI
Posts: 2842 - Karma: 7,812
Me and my recliner go way back.
May 26 2015 10:32PM
15 0
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shin-bang
Posts: 4100 - Karma: 6,992
I always prayed before my trigonometry tests. I was hoping for a sine from above.
May 26 2015 10:37PM
12 0
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270on420out
Posts: 7494 - Karma: 50,831
I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
May 26 2015 10:43PM
7 0
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stinky_cheese
Posts: 1215 - Karma: 5,118
how do you get holy water? boil the hell out of it
May 26 2015 11:34PM
5 0
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skiersupreme
Posts: 1549 - Karma: 4,872
two dress shirts were in a race, but it ended in a tie.
May 26 2015 11:44PM
5 0
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Zurg
Posts: 1486 - Karma: 4,701
ur mum
May 27 2015 4:09PM
1 10
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Zurg
Posts: 1486 - Karma: 4,701
ur mum
May 27 2015 4:09PM
1 12
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Brule.
Posts: 3846 - Karma: 5,658
He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
May 27 2015 6:37PM
6 1
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buzzlightyear
Posts: 153 - Karma: 292
Zurgur mum


you have got to be kitten me.
May 27 2015 6:47PM
4 1
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mike759
Posts: 872 - Karma: 1,949
A dyslexic man walks into a bra
May 27 2015 6:51PM
9 0
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iSmokeweed
Posts: 4793 - Karma: 1,370
https://www.newschoolers.com/forum/thread/609362/PUNS-PUNS-PUNS-PUNS-PUNS
May 27 2015 7:09PM
1 1
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Zurg
Posts: 1486 - Karma: 4,701
iSmokeweedhttps://www.newschoolers.com/forum/thread/609362/PUNS-PUNS-PUNS-PUNS-PUNS


good one
May 27 2015 7:38PM
1 3
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SteezOnSkis12
Posts: 907 - Karma: 1,446
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean Beef

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef

What do you call a cow with all four legs? Your Mom
May 27 2015 7:44PM
9 1
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.otto.
Posts: 3493 - Karma: 12,892
WHAT DID THE FISH SAY WHEN HE HIT A WALL??!!


"DAM!!!!!!!!!!!"
May 27 2015 8:33PM
7 1
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Ski_The_E
Posts: 1036 - Karma: 944
What about science puns?

My teacher threw sodium chloride at me... That's a salt.

I told a history major a chem joke today... There was no reaction.



Not a pun but still a solid science joke:

Schrodinger and Heisenberg were driving on the freeway when a cop pulls them over.

"Do you have any idea how fast you were going?" asked the cop
"No, but I knew where I was." responded Heisenberg
"You were going 100." said the officer, confused.
"Damnit! Now I'm lost!" he responded

Suspecting drug use, the officer checked the trunk.
"What the fuck?! You guys have a dead cat back here!!"

Schrodinger responds "Well we do now, asshole!"
May 28 2015 11:50PM
3 1
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.FRY.
Posts: 5620 - Karma: 22,852
deez nuts
May 28 2015 11:52PM
5 0
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steeze4days
Posts: 358 - Karma: 1,948
.Frydeez nuts


HA GOTEEEM.
May 29 2015 7:34AM
0 0
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Craze
Posts: 1132 - Karma: 423
JustGoWithItMe and my recliner go way back.


Hahahaha that was punny!
May 29 2015 11:45AM
0 0
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