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Doctor says I need a Stool Sample, What should I eat?

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PM4FreeJiberish
Posts: 447 - Karma: 3,533
Oh btw the cup is super small and the nurse told me to "just aim"
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Jul 16 2014 6:19PM
58 5
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DrewPeacock
Posts: 1003 - Karma: 1,763
ok
Jul 16 2014 6:20PM
4 0
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Lé.Skiing
Posts: 10035 - Karma: 8,122
print this out, fold it up and put it in the container.
Jul 16 2014 6:39PM
15 0
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Randel
Posts: 123 - Karma: 178
Lucky Charms
Jul 16 2014 6:49PM
0 0
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op14
Posts: 1769 - Karma: 4,586
Buffalo chicken mozzarella sticks. Just ate them and am currently typing this from the shitter. My butthole is enflamed but it was worth it.
Jul 16 2014 7:03PM
3 0
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ZachAndCheese
Posts: 816 - Karma: 5,116
Just go to a traditional chinese or taiwanese food. Order all the foods that you can't pronounce and there's a good chance that your doctor may be able to still find them in your sample!
Jul 16 2014 8:17PM
0 0
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cool_name
Posts: 4295 - Karma: 3,131
SkrewsOh btw the cup is super small and the nurse told me to "just aim"


the nurse is wrong about just aiming, that would be disgusting. You are meant to cover the toilet in Saran wrap, but let it droop enough not to make a mess, then with the little spoon attached scoop some in. No, i am not bullshitting either you are meant to do it this way to avoid any contamination from bacteria in the toilet.


or you could just scoop in some dog poop and see what the doctor says, that would way funnier
Jul 16 2014 8:19PM
2 1
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BeefiestExpert
Posts: 2804 - Karma: 3,275
Eat nails and hopefully they come out ok..... Surely it will get the doctors attention
Jul 16 2014 8:21PM
0 0
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Lemuel
Posts: 14477 - Karma: 10,515
Corn. Lots and lots of corn and only corn for about 48 hours before hand.
Jul 16 2014 8:37PM
7 0
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Daski
Posts: 658 - Karma: 2,316
Lots of corn and lots of coins
Jul 16 2014 8:41PM
3 0
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milk_man
Posts: 5214 - Karma: 6,494
Taco bell, chicken wings and beans.
Jul 16 2014 8:42PM
0 0
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spaceghostpurp
Posts: 249 - Karma: 835
too bad big blacks dump truck wasnt still in buisness.
^fantasy factory reference
Jul 16 2014 9:56PM
2 1
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DENIM_CHICKEN
Posts: 526 - Karma: 2,558
Anything that will show up whole in your shit (corn, pop jellybeans like pills, metallic objects, dildos, etc.)
Jul 16 2014 10:07PM
2 0
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yangumane
Posts: 1816 - Karma: 3,346
spaceghostpurptoo bad big blacks dump truck wasnt still in buisness.
^fantasy factory reference


Lol !!!!
Jul 16 2014 10:10PM
0 0
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reBlocke
Posts: 762 - Karma: 1,502
You really think your taco bell shit is going to gross your nurse/doc out? They probably just got done draining fecal pus mix from the perianal abscess of some 65 year old morbidly obese woman. Good luck...
Jul 16 2014 10:17PM
2 0
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skiersupreme
Posts: 1549 - Karma: 4,872
glass and taco bell
Jul 16 2014 10:18PM
0 0
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little1337
Posts: 8159 - Karma: 45,773
cashews

only cashews
Jul 16 2014 10:41PM
1 0
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1337
Posts: 31038 - Karma: 29,003
1337cashews

only cashews

corn

only corn
http://youtu.be/thTh0w5hjkg
Jul 16 2014 10:55PM
1 0
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treetrunks
Posts: 33 - Karma: 203
My doctor said I need a stool sample too
Jul 17 2014 12:10AM
1 0
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,469
Shit, then eat your shit and shit again. Or better yet eat my shit
Jul 17 2014 12:11AM
0 0
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.FRY.
Posts: 5620 - Karma: 22,852
a shit ton of food coloring
Jul 17 2014 12:39AM
3 0
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SFB
Posts: 8895 - Karma: 26,347
plastic bags
Jul 17 2014 12:40AM
2 0
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KrazyistKarl
Posts: 1725 - Karma: 599
Dildos. Only Dildos
Jul 17 2014 1:30AM
0 0
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backseat.bandit
Posts: 142 - Karma: 787
Get dog shit from local park to blow his lab assistant's mind
Jul 17 2014 2:22AM
0 0
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seward
Posts: 5233 - Karma: 2,174
lol.

op has aids and doesnt know it yet
Jul 17 2014 9:17AM
0 0
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galaxia
Posts: 307 - Karma: 697
beets
Jul 17 2014 9:24AM
0 0
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CliffyByro
Posts: 5678 - Karma: 3,903
galaxiabeets


lots and lots of beets. shit bright red goodness.
Jul 17 2014 10:07AM
1 0
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b-kul
Posts: 4350 - Karma: 1,111
why are you trying to mess around with this? obviously you need this for a reason, why fuck around with your health to try and get some internet lols?
Jul 17 2014 1:54PM
0 0
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CaptainObvious.
Posts: 5711 - Karma: 20,627
galaxiabeets


And pesto.

Eat a beet and pesto diet for three days straight. Go into that bitch and shit christmas in a cup.

And dress like santa when you go to give your sample.
Jul 17 2014 2:19PM
1 0
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TinyTigers
Posts: 484 - Karma: 213
Take vicodin or something that makes you really constipated and eat everything. X-lax after a week should do the trick.
Jul 17 2014 7:06PM
0 0
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dingus
Posts: 1328 - Karma: 7,877
eat exactly 3 marjuanas
Jul 17 2014 7:58PM
0 2
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AT-AT
Posts: 3281 - Karma: 3,256
Just did one. They are nothing special.
Jul 17 2014 9:08PM
0 0
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Dolan.Escobar
Posts: 683 - Karma: 943
Eat a big mac. Poop it out, eat the poop.
Your next poo will be an intact big mac
Jul 17 2014 10:27PM
0 0
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Crispy.
Posts: 6102 - Karma: 7,626
cool_namethe nurse is wrong about just aiming, that would be disgusting. You are meant to cover the toilet in Saran wrap, but let it droop enough not to make a mess, then with the little spoon attached scoop some in. No, i am not bullshitting either you are meant to do it this way to avoid any contamination from bacteria in the toilet.


I was really sick earlier in the year and had to do stool samples. Unless you go to a piece of shit hospital, they should give you something that goes below the seat that you shit into. From there you scoop it into the sample.
Jul 17 2014 10:46PM
0 0
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Piste.Off
Posts: 11586 - Karma: 1,861
Coming from a former CNA, no matter how gross you think your poop is it won't gross your nurse. My coworkers and I would talk about where to grab lunch while wiping up massive black shit, yes black, from some old dude's ass/genitals/everywhere.
Jul 17 2014 10:52PM
0 0
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Dolan.Escobar
Posts: 683 - Karma: 943
^damn. I dont know if i could get used to that
Jul 17 2014 11:32PM
0 0
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