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Just how dumb some americans are....

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Freestyla_01
Posts: 8586 - Karma: 34
Banff Tourists All time dumbest questions asked by Banff Park Tourists. Yes, they're all true as heard at the information kiosks manned by Parks Canada Staff!

1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the 'Elk Crossing'
signs?

2. At what elevation does an elk become a moose?

3. Tourist: 'How do you pronounce 'Elk'?' Park Information Staff: 'Elk'
Tourist: 'Oh'

4. Are the bears with collars tame?

5. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should I
store it in my tent?

6. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?

7. Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?

8. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today -Could you tell me what it was?

9. Are there birds in Canada?

10. Did I miss the turnoff for Canada?

11.Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?

12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?

13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan?

14. If I go to B.C., do I have to go through Ontario?

15.Which is the way to the Columbia Ricefields?

16. How far is Banff from Canada?

17. What's the best way to see Canada in a day?

18. Do they search you at the B.C. border?

19. When we enter B.C., do we have to convert our money to British pounds?

20. Where can I buy a raccoon hat? All Canadians own one, don't they?

21. Are there phones in Banff?

22. So it's eight kilometers away.....is that in miles?

23. We're on the decibel system you know.

24. Where can I get my husband really, really lost?

24. Is that two kilometers by foot or by car?

25. Don't you Canadians know anything?

26. Where do you put the animals at night?

27. Tourist: 'How do you get your lakes so blue?' Park Staff: 'We take the
water out in the winter and paint the bottom.' Tourist: 'Ohhhhh!'

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I mean, come on people.
You Laugh Because I'm Different. I Laugh Because You're All The Same.
Jul 5 2002 4:42AM
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mauii
Posts: 6166 - Karma: 32
HHAAHHhahahaha...thats great!

***************
-Mike
Jul 5 2002 11:47AM
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mauii
Posts: 6166 - Karma: 32
yes we are, eh..we be slow eh?
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Mike - Cold Interactive
Jul 5 2002 1:33PM
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mauii
Posts: 6166 - Karma: 32
just kidding

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Mike - Cold Interactive
Jul 5 2002 1:34PM
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mauii
Posts: 6166 - Karma: 32
ach..wont work..lemme try again!

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Mike - Cold Interactive Systems
Jul 5 2002 1:40PM
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colingobig
Posts: 418 - Karma: 10
hahahahahahahaha,
that's damn good. i get the stupidest questions in the world. i work for the mountain. i had a guy in the winter ask me where the 'trick ditch' was. ahhhh damn good fun.


me 'is this Vanilla Ice?'
kid 'yeah'
me 'DIRTY HELL!'
kid 'what? i fuckin like the ice man!'
Jul 5 2002 2:00PM
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mauii
Posts: 6166 - Karma: 32
heres my improved sig!


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Mike - Cold Interactive Systems
Jul 5 2002 2:02PM
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mauii
Posts: 6166 - Karma: 32
or maybe a bit smaller!

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Mike - Cold Interactive Systems
Jul 5 2002 2:07PM
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mauii
Posts: 6166 - Karma: 32
its not actually on the ns site..just a link..so it takes up no space on ns.com

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Mike - Cold Interactive Systems
Jul 5 2002 3:33PM
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mauii
Posts: 6166 - Karma: 32
aargh..i cant get rid of my sig pic..i deleted all the files from the space that thier on..i even deleted the site its self..but they wont die!

Mike - Cold Interactive Systems
Jul 5 2002 4:05PM
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powdermack
Posts: 22 - Karma: 10
America should start a program of selective breeding to kill off some of those dumbasses.
Jul 5 2002 10:40PM
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Nine_Milla_Killa
Posts: 6783 - Karma: 23
I'm at a camp in Maine right now, and there are 4 other Canadians here. We played a Can-Am hockey game, and we won 22-3. We didnt even have any subs, we were on the whole entire time. AHAHAHA.
But the funny thing is that we have the whole camp thinking we are on a 20 hour clock in Canada. We call it 'metric time'. AHAHAH dumb yanks... We also dont know touch-tone phones. We preteneded we had never seen fire-works before on the 4th of July, and we pretened we frive snowmobiles on our roads instead of cars. They also think we live in coal heated houses and buildings. Its so funny! I love messing with Americans.
_________________________
I'm a bomb sniffing dog, and baby, you're da BOMB!!!
Jul 5 2002 11:02PM
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mauii
Posts: 6166 - Karma: 32
aahh haha.. thats great

Mike - Cold Interactive Systems
Jul 6 2002 12:42AM
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kristen
Posts: 1091 - Karma: 10
HAhahahahahhahahaha!!!! That's classic. Canada in a day. haha. Did anyone see that show w/ that guy from this hour has 22 minutes Rick Mercer, it was sooo funny. He went down to the states and asked americans questions about canada, it was soooo funny to hear their answers. haha


Eeeek!! My icon makes me look like my face is a big fat circle!

My theory on dogs:
If you can kick it across the room. It's not a dog!!
Jul 6 2002 1:39AM
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Freestyla_01
Posts: 8586 - Karma: 34
ahhhh haha. we watched that in stagecraft this year. sooooo funny.
it was that, or something just like it.
---
I mean, come on people.
You Laugh Because I'm Different. I Laugh Because You're All The Same.
Jul 6 2002 2:49AM
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andyrightcoast
Posts: 5220 - Karma: 18
An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie (ie. a Newfoundlander). He went to

a neurosurgeon and asked 'Is there anything you can do to me that would

make me into a Newfie?'

'Sure, it's easy.' replied the neurosurgeon. 'All I have to do is cut

out 1/3 of your brain, and you'll be a Newfie.' The Ontarian was very

pleased, and immediately underwent the operation. However, the surgeon's

knife slipped, and instead of cutting out 1/3 of the patient's brain,

the surgeon accidentally cut out 2/3 of the patient's brain. He was

terribly remorseful, and waited impatiently beside the patient's bed as

the patient recovered from the anesthetic. As soon as the patient was

conscious, the nurosurgeon said to him 'I'm terribly sorry, but there

was a ghastly accident.

Instead of cutting out 1/3 of your brain, I accidentally cut out 2/3 of

your brain.'

The patient replied 'Qu'est-ce que vous avez dit, monsieur?'


-Andy

NewSchoolSkiing|dot|com
MIKE NICK LIU KANG!
Jul 6 2002 3:07AM
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andyrightcoast
Posts: 5220 - Karma: 18

-Andy

NewSchoolSkiing|dot|com
MIKE NICK LIU KANG!
Jul 6 2002 3:09AM
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dspin7x
Posts: 6414 - Karma: 63
hahahahh shit those are all funny especially andys
Jul 6 2002 3:11AM
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dspin7x
Posts: 6414 - Karma: 63
the quebec one is pretty funny
Jul 6 2002 3:12AM
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Lord_Piot
Posts: 3727 - Karma: 13
funny thing is americans are probably doing the same thing now, there is probably a us based ski site with a bunch of americans sitting here making fun of canadian jokes, and there is probably someone like me pointing that very fact out...ok im scared now

_________________
I wanna move to mexico, become a gringo and live off third grade tequila that comes in 55 gallon refurbished texaco era oil drums
Jul 6 2002 7:31AM
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cko
Posts: 1869 - Karma: 31
the banff stuff is funny and I know it's true because you get an appreciation for how ignorant some americans are working in Whistler all winter. It's funny in a way but it's also very pathetic.


Jul 6 2002 10:45AM
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T-lo
Posts: 1004 - Karma: 10
Canadians are the dumbest drunks in the world.

T-lo
Representin' the Midwest
Jul 6 2002 2:42PM
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jibs
Posts: 2529 - Karma: 48
hahah, those are great. I lived in banff for a year and you see the funniest shit there. The japanese are almost as funny as the americans. I saw a jap walk out of a store dressed completly like a cowboy, chaps and everything. He asked me a how to get to his hotel and said 'eh' at the end, trying to act canadian.

Also, while i was there, an american woman wanted to get a picture of her child riding an elk...so she tried putting her kid on the elks back, luckily everyone freaked out on her before she got her kid killed.

Not so lucky was the woman who wanted to get a picture of a bear licking her kid's hand. She spread HONEY all over his hand and arm (the kid was 6) and then was SHOCKED when the bear bit the kids arm off.

stupid stupid stupid.
Jul 6 2002 3:26PM
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Ski_Instructor_Mike
Posts: 6146 - Karma: 72
hhaha that's a picture of Chris Chelios right? yeah he's american.... silly americans.

MD... Dain bramaged.
Jul 6 2002 3:43PM
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Drail
Posts: 14011 - Karma: 10,001
i got tons of stupid american stories. a teacher of mine was down at the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto when this American family came in (at like around noon or so) and asked what time the place closed. he told them 5pm. they go 'oh, great... we're going to drive up to winnapeg and visit some relatives than come back later today' (for those americans that don't understand their stupidity - winnapag is a 2 day drive from Toronto)

And another one - my mom's bf was working at a grocery store (way back in the day) in Brampton and one mid-summer afternoon this american couple come into the store and ask him 'where to go for the skiing' and outside he saw their car with the skis on the roof rack. not sure what to say he just told them to go north of the 400 and keep going till you see the hills. oh man.

Darryl Hunt
aka - highschool

representing the H.J.S. forever

googoo271 - 'dude i met this guy in whistler who knows him pretty well...so sick' (about Simon Dumont)
Jul 6 2002 8:01PM
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bitchassphatz
Posts: 6171 - Karma: 107
haha that's great......damn those people make all americans sound so fucking stupid
hasha lest see if i remember chnagin thdis....ahahaaa hw longew til i fidn it?
Jul 6 2002 11:33PM
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1080enemy
Posts: 2171 - Karma: 13
My sister went to spain last summer, and some old lady asked her what she thought abut newfoundland separating from the rest of canada? that was a new one to me.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
I think therefore I'm a yam
Jul 7 2002 1:38AM
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kristen
Posts: 1091 - Karma: 10
that joke is good. too good. I'll tell the next french person that. haha.


Eeeek!! My icon makes me look like my face is a big fat circle!

My theory on dogs:
If you can kick it across the room. It's not a dog!!
Jul 7 2002 1:52AM
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Casey
Posts: 7785 - Karma: 23,466
23. We're on the decibel system you know.

I was unaware that Canadians measured things in sound....

'Your total comes to 100 decibels.'
'AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!'
'thanks, have a great day.'
Jul 7 2002 3:54AM
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jibs
Posts: 2529 - Karma: 48
I'm pretty sure that was an american trying to say they were on the 'imperial system'
Jul 7 2002 1:46PM
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shitonmyface
Posts: 328 - Karma: 14
do birds live in canada? ha ha
Jul 7 2002 3:36PM
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FreshCoast
Posts: 5602 - Karma: 34
Way to fuck up the picture Andy, making us americans look even stupider!
________________________
Andrew

'We're on a mission from God.'
-Jake and Elwood Blues
Jul 7 2002 8:19PM
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PocketRocket
Posts: 1251 - Karma: 10
my cousin has a whole book full of those...americans are so retarded when it comes to info about us!!!
Jul 7 2002 11:41PM
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sirjibsalot
Posts: 5751 - Karma: 19
those quote things are fucking hilariousd

---Live for Today---
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Jul 8 2002 2:11PM
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