It irritates the shit out of me when people think they're using proper grammar, but they are actually incorrect.
e.g. - someone tags a photo with "My baby and I"
Also, pretentious assbags that think they fully understand the application of good and well. When I ask someone "How are you?" and they reply, "I'm well. How are you?" and I say, "I'm good." They look at me like I just showed them a shit covered tampon. No motherfucker, I asked how you are. In this case, good is a state, Well is an adverb or only applied when asked specifically regarding your health. I don't take the time to correct you because I'm not a high-nosed, small-dicked little shit. You, however, are. Point your condescending dick receptacle elsewhere.
Sorry for the rant.
They call me Captain Obvious.
"Fuck them in their asses with dildos made of lava bees."