"Take that fucking condom off your head," referring to my beanie.
"All your mates are dicks," after meeting one of them while they were high.
"Did you fuck her?" every time i go out with a girl.
"Ok, my legs are tired, you take your brother skiing, i'm going to get pissed," while in a bar up the mountain with no way to get down other than skiing,
Some french guy tried to hug him on new years once: "Try and touch me again and i'll knock you out."
While in a french apres-ski bar, his friend (already pissed) walked up to some guy with a pink mohawk and pushed his hand through it, frenchman shouts a load of angry french words and my dad, since he doesn't speak french, came over and shouted a load of french sounding words in his best french accent then screamed "FUCK OFF" loud enough for the whole bar to hear...