It's translated from french by me, so there might be a few mistakes:
Ways men like to take a piss:
The sociable guy:
He joins his friends to take a leak, whether he needs it or not, given that it doesn’t cost anything and generates comprehension
The uncomfortable guy:
Can only piss when no one is looking, otherwise he’ll pretend he’s done and come back later.
The nervous guy:
The zipper gets stuck, he gets angry and tears the front of his pants.
The noisy guy:
He whistles, sings, burps, farts and talks out loud while shaking at the same time.
The stupid guy:
Pisses in the leg of his pants, wets his shoes, and leaves with his fly open.
The talented guy:
He pisses without holding it while adjusting his tie.
The lunatic guy:
He unbuttons his jacket, takes off his tie and urinates in his pants.
The childish guy:
Looks at the bottom of the urinal and stares at the bubbles.
The showy guy:
Undoes five buttons when two is enough.
The silly guy:
Makes zigzags in the urinal.
The curious guy:
Always trying to get a glimpse at his neighbor’s engine.
The grouchy guy:
He stands in front of the urinal while talking to himself, farts, tries to piss but can’t manage to. Farts again and leaves moaning.
The hypocrite guy:
Lets out a soundless stinky fart, sniffs the air, stares at his neighbor with an accusing look.
The snob guy:
Stands a meter away from the urinal and holds his penis with two hands.
The fat guy:
Has to stand a meter away from the urinal because of his belly, pisses ‘blindly’, and wets his neighbor’s shoes.
The midget guy:
Goes to the urinal with a ladder, falls in it and drowns.
The strong tattooed guy:
Hits his penis on the side of the urinal to make it drip.
The gross guy:
All the urinals are busy, so he pisses on the floor as if everything was normal.
The guy who wears glasses:
Stands in front of the urinal, aims at the right one and pisses in the left one.
The cocky guy:
Holds his thing as if it was a beast. His gay neighbor thinks he’s horny and gets his dick caught in the zipper.
Pisses with a high-pressure jet inside and around the urinal with the goal to hit a fly.
WARNING TO POST IN ALL URINALS AND BATHROOMS:
If you are pretentious, step forward, it’s shorter than you think it is.
If you are absent-minded, get your zipper down instead of taking of your sweater.
If you are short, then take a damn stool instead of pissing everywhere while jumping.
'Yes, time flies.And where did it leave you?Old too soon...smart too late'