Start with veggies
Correct yourself and order a foot-long on Montery Cheddar Bread
**Montery Cheddar Bread falls apart more than any other, and it can't hold any liquids without falling apart
Order one of the tray meals. i.e steak, tuna, or any of the chicken dishes
Only have them toast it if there's a rush behind you
Order bacon once you're on veggies so they have to go back
Tell them you're a regular and to microwave it on '3'
**On 3, it will cook so long it'll burn the everloving shit out of the employee's hands when they pick it up
From here on out, add their name at the end of every sentence
"More lettuce, (Carl). I'd like lots (Carl)
Tell them to add as much vegetables as possible until they end up denying you
Ask for lots of pickles; they're impossible to place on the sandwhich just right
Remind the employee that you're allergic to tomatoes and have to go back remove them
Ask for oil and vinegar
Tell them, "Don't try and gyp me out of the sauce! More oil....name....
Fucking. Oil and Vinegar. More. Overload it
Saturate that shit
"Make that sandwich so wet it's sopping...(Carl)..."
Don't have them cut it, the fun has just begun
When they're trying to fold this son of a bitch, remind them that you asked for more guacamole than that
Pay for the extra bacon and guac
Waddle to the bathroom
Lock the door and cram that shit into the toilet. Deep.
Exit Subway "Thanks for the sandwich, (Carl).