So I gave it my best shot! Hope everyone can enjoy it at least a little bit and MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through newschoolers
Not a member was posting, not even FerrisBueller;
Skis were being waxed in the garage with special care,
In hopes that the great Tom Wallisch would soon be there,
Members were nestled all snug in their beds
While dreams of an epic pow day danced in their head
And Beezey in her lingerie, with her on my lap
Had just settled down for a long winters “nap”,
When in the ski gabber forum there arose such a clatter,
I threw some clothes on to see that Eheath got fatter!
I read the whole page, the replies were quite brash,
But the thread was about Eheaths video of young Vinni Cash,
The lights on the jump built from fake Dew Tour snow,
Showed Vinni and Edollo with new tricks to throw,
When all of a sudden the jah Tanner Hall had appeared,
Congratulating Edollo, before the jump was even cleared,
With a score of 100 that was given quite quick,
Not to Edollo but to the Jolly St. Nick!
I went to bed and the next morning awoke I became,
Only to find it wasn’t St. Nick, but Shaun White was his name!
The forums exploded in the bright winter sky,
For he had dragged his hand, those judges should die!
Big_Spence and 1337 made multiple posts, they had lots to say,
All while banning newbs for using the word gay,
Chug and the Travelling circus battled for forum supremacy,
Chug’s drinking and Andy’s filth led to bad bouts with leprosy,
Frustrated, I made my way over to Non-Ski gabber,
Only to sift through hoards of 12 year old fappers,
I read the enormous posts of our friend theabortinator,
And watched as a shitstorm brewed, they all called him a hater!
A pink name was next to post, likely to her demise,
Tits were immediately requested and applejuice cried!
A raging debate had begun about guns,
Amadeaus came threw and the thread was now done
People were claiming about their early Christmas gifts
Many other members fell for the trolls and their quick wit
It seemed as though Anarchy had appeared in NSG
When like a phoenix rising from the Ashes Mr.Bishop said “Oui, Oui”
His eyes – How they twinkled, his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses and shone red like a cherry,
His long flowing hair was drawn up into a bow
And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow
With stubby Schmuck as his side he whistled and shouted,
Come Gato! Come Iggy! We have work that must be done,
Come Ashley! Come Poppa! This may not be fun,
Come Skodeo! Come Copernicus! We must teach the members new,
Come D.Brown! Come Silence! And bring that damn french pirate too!
They made not one post but went straight to work,
And the newbs in the forum they certainly did murk,
Kangbang was gone, Frenchy was next,
Skiiermans alias didn’t was hunted down with the rest,
Ar6Rider was banned with great force,
ECB followed, he already banged his cousin, there was no remorse,
YMR and HoodCrew both were firmly punished,
Their emerging ski careers were swiftly finished,
From then on, order was restored in the Forums of NS,
This time the admins and mods were put to the test,
When all of a sudden, could it possibly be?
Harvey showed up with a giant Christmas tree,
He said this is for all of you, members of this amazing site,
WERE ALL FUCKING SKIERS, GET DRUNK AND HAVE A GOOD NIGHT!
CHECK THE EDIT
-so you get a beamer but don't have money for skis..and you don't like tits..how did they let you sign up on this site? -heFF
Anyway, JD is drunk. Accept drunk JD wisdom for it is wise and beneficial. - J.D.
I am a realist and you are a douche - uni-corn