holy shit 4 hoodies that is nothing. One day not too long ago my friends suggested that we go on a camping trip. I was reluctant to go, because I was still recovering from my reconstructive anus surgery. (I was gored by a bull) However, I was eventually persuaded to go. Boy was that a mistake. So I am packing my bag for this camping trip and I think to myself "what if I get the sudden urge to have sex with a man on this trip?" I figured I should at least be prepared, so I threw a jar of smuckers in my overnight bag. (In case you weren't aware, Smuckers is a delightful replacement for lube. It is less expensive, and it is much more pleasant to clean up.)
Joining me on this camping trip were my three friends from college, Steve, Carl, and Randy. At that point, I had never had sex with a man in my life, but I couldn't stop fantasizing about Randys big mustache, sticky with the Smuckers jam that he had just licked from my body. I was ready for things to get hot in that tent.
So off we were, in Carl's tightly packed Subaru Baja. With us was a tent, some standard camping supplies, and my 17 hoodies that I always wore outside. When I say this, I mean I literally wore 17 hoodies at all times, no matter what. The doctor told me that if I lost enough body heat, I would lose circulation to my anus, and I would never have a functional ass again. Nothing would seperate me from my goal, to one day shit again. Nothing but Randy and that mustache.
So we set up camp deep in the woods, and Steve got a nice fire going. We were sitting around the fire drinking Hawaiian Punch and reminiscing about our wild times in college. It was the perfect night. So after Steve and Carl headed to bed, Randy and I sat by the fire together. Randy held me tightly, and told me that everything would be alright. He caressed my sore ass, and reassured me that he would ease the pain. Before I knew it, we were in the back of the Baja covered in smuckers. I finally realized that I had let him remove my 17 hoodies, without even noticing!!! I began to shiver, and a cold pain shot towards my ass. And then, nothing. I could not feel anything in my ass. Since that faitful day, I haven't shit once. Life has been terrible since. But yeah 4 hoodies should be fine.
