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March, 2024

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She "doesnt want a boyfriend"? i need help from the ladies

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c-wayne
Posts: 253 - Karma: 906
long story short, met this girl at work through mutual friends, she got my number and we hit it off. Same personalities (very outgoing and fun) same interests and she snowboards wich is also a huge plus. We hung out a few times over the past 3 weeks and hooked up alot but didnt have sex. shes a virgin and doesnt really talk to many guys it seemed like for the most part, and so she sais, but she always seemed to have a shitton of dudes texting her. In all honesty, i usually play my cards really tight with girls but i felt like everything between us was perfect so i kinda started to really like her. She had been texting me nonstop and always willing to hangout anytime. Then last saturday she tells me (randomly) that shed lost feelings for us being together and she really had to tell me. I was dumbfounded because everything betwen us was flawless and perfect (so i thought). I asked why and she said she didnt really want a boyfriend anymore because she was scared it "wouldnt be worth her time, and she might get hurt" wich i initially thought was a bunch of bs.

So we decided to hang again after that and things were different when we did. She wasnt as fun, and wasnt as into me it seemed. I talked to her about it and she told me the same things as sunday and that it wasnt another guy and that it was "just her and not me" So then 3 days ago we end it because she said shes not ready for a bf and wants to just be friends.

So, i know this is not lm but what the fuck? Im so mad. what we had was amazing, like we clicked perfectly and everything was amazing and she like decided to blow it off.

So we havnt really talked since we broke it off, 2 days ago she texted me and i gave her short answers and she stopped texting me after a few short answers.

How should i handle this? We had something amazing and for some reason she didnt care or see it. I dont wanna be the one to text/call her first because i feel like she should be the one to come to me and fix things. Why would she not want what we had? And do you think i should wait a few days and then talk to her if she doesnt talk to me or what?
Apr 6 2012 8:02PM
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Mr.Capone
Posts: 1227 - Karma: 109
This is terrible advice. "Romance the hell out of her"...really man? Sounds like a surefire way to prove to her you're just like every other guy willing to bend over backward for her bullshit. Best thing to do is ignore her or act like you're over it while still managing to keep sexual tension.

My best guess is you were too into her too fast. "We were meant to be together" "we were so perfect for each other" blahhh blah blahh. These are typical dude fell way too fast for girl and girl got scared because dude was more into her than she wanted him to be phrases. Sounds like you were only hanging out and doing stuff for a couple weeks. Why push for the boyfriend thing and not just keep things fun and undefined? Would have worked much better.

Remember that relationships are something of a power balance. If you've shown all your cards you come off as weak, boring, and just like every other guy that makes shallow passes at her (and if she's hot she sees this a lot). What you need to do is keep things interesting, fun and most of all exciting. Excitement early in relationship is what gets her heart going and makes her into you, not being sappy and getting limp noodle syndrome.

Good luck with it. Sounds like you're young so at least this will be a good learning experience for the future.
Apr 6 2012 11:47PM
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TRASHY.
Posts: 736 - Karma: 356
if she still likes you and you ignore her, she will come running back.
Apr 7 2012 12:29AM
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RoofDaRoofieDogg
Posts: 3090 - Karma: 1,989
I ignored your post in the did you know thread. Wheres my blowjob?
Apr 7 2012 12:32AM
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myllhouse
Posts: 1064 - Karma: 2,154
saw long story short. then saw a story.. still read it.

cock slap her back into your life
Apr 7 2012 12:32AM
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TRASHY.
Posts: 736 - Karma: 356
um there was not relationship in the first place, therefore no blowjob.
Apr 7 2012 12:35AM
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TheClap.
Posts: 21649 - Karma: 4,013
lies, your TRASHY.......
Apr 7 2012 12:38AM
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TRASHY.
Posts: 736 - Karma: 356
and you have the clap..... gross
Apr 7 2012 12:41AM
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Backyard.Skier
Posts: 5397 - Karma: 1,497
how do you know this?
Apr 7 2012 12:41AM
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TheClap.
Posts: 21649 - Karma: 4,013
Bc shes Trashy
Apr 7 2012 12:44AM
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RoofDaRoofieDogg
Posts: 3090 - Karma: 1,989
Well, there goes MY plans for the weekend...
Apr 7 2012 12:48AM
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blackmamba.
Posts: 969 - Karma: 56
'hurt' is code for being used

me thinks you took it too fast and seeing as she's a virgin, she's scared/unsure of the prospect of losing her v-card and then getting dumped. she's held on to it for a reason, and sadly, you're not the answer. bitches be cray, my friend.

therefore, friend zone for you.
Apr 7 2012 1:12AM
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feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
how old are you? very important
Apr 7 2012 4:34AM
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zooded.
Posts: 152 - Karma: 75
... i hate to say this but maybe their was another guy? ik a girl who did that to my best friend, she was flirting with him non stop but was hooking up with another guy behind his back. girls can be bitches sometimes, i wouldn't ditch completely, just don't make her the priority. hang out with other chicks and maybe you'll find one that's better than her anyway.

do you know anything about her previous relationships? maybe she dated a guy that ended up hurting her, and maybe that relationship started off how you guys did... maybe she thinks it's too good to be true and doesn't want to put herself through that again


Apr 7 2012 12:05PM
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c-wayne
Posts: 253 - Karma: 906
lol update: i just banged one of her friends and have another date with her monday she still hasnt talked to me so fuck her!! YOLO!!!!! im over her shit
Apr 7 2012 7:16PM
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rtav
Posts: 227 - Karma: 90
NSG, I'm proud of you guys. This thread was basically solid advice for a whole day. Wow
Apr 7 2012 7:26PM
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1337
Posts: 31038 - Karma: 29,003
Its not summer yet
Apr 7 2012 7:43PM
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TheClap.
Posts: 21649 - Karma: 4,013
^its summer in VA, y'all come party
Apr 7 2012 7:57PM
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Thadius.Castle
Posts: 1436 - Karma: 250
Wait til she gets a boyfriend, take his knees out with a tire iron, then chain her in your basement and feed her Baby Ruths. .

Wait, I already replied.
Apr 7 2012 8:15PM
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KEVTRON
Posts: 3544 - Karma: 1,171
Tease.
Apr 7 2012 9:48PM
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Bogs
Posts: 4296 - Karma: 1,361
how do you have a date with her monday if you still haven't talked to her? oh wait, thats just your terrible grammar. also, i think its pretty clear now why she didn't want to be with you...
Apr 7 2012 9:50PM
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KEVTRON
Posts: 3544 - Karma: 1,171
so thats how it works now? you fuck a girl then take her our on a date? thought it was the opposite.
Apr 7 2012 10:00PM
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Pussy_Sauce
Posts: 381 - Karma: 23
Don't linger


Bitches have always and will always act really fucking dumb




I fucked a bitch a few times in a few days and then shes like

"Uhh i feel like your looking for a GF and i don't want a relationship"


Im like bitch you invited me to dinner, you got me drunk and you sucked my dick, and I am the one looking for a GF...

#woman logic
Apr 7 2012 10:06PM
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kaydawg
Posts: 15 - Karma: 21
I'd have to disagree with the always wanting boyfriends thing..
1. you're in the friend zone.
2. did you ever consider that you did nothing wrong? what if she just doesn't like you?
3. other fish in the sea, blah blah blah
4. she's a snowboarder?? come onnnnn
Apr 7 2012 11:07PM
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kaydawg
Posts: 15 - Karma: 21
I figured it out!! its because you're a giant douche!
Apr 7 2012 11:15PM
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snowdon
Posts: 2480 - Karma: 391
Sucks but...this exactly
Apr 7 2012 11:20PM
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1337
Posts: 31038 - Karma: 29,003
ehh, not sure about that. I know girls who have been in awful relationships before and are scared to get back into one.
Apr 7 2012 11:21PM
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Ski_Alot
Posts: 5884 - Karma: 3,502
fuck her best friends
Apr 7 2012 11:22PM
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snowdon
Posts: 2480 - Karma: 391
So have I, but I'm still not dumb enough to turn down the right guy. I'm sure there are a few girls who truly are loners and don't want a relationship, but if you get that line, pretty much 9 times out of 10 it does just mean she isn't interested in you.
Apr 7 2012 11:26PM
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c_roll
Posts: 584 - Karma: 244
no





but really
Apr 7 2012 11:26PM
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1337
Posts: 31038 - Karma: 29,003
thankfully its been told to me as a friend, about another guy. Just saying
Apr 7 2012 11:28PM
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Pussy_Sauce
Posts: 381 - Karma: 23
What if the chick isn't lonely and just likes fucking, that is an exception, right?
Apr 7 2012 11:28PM
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Heart
Posts: 6156 - Karma: 3,462
Didn't even read the thread but ObeseBunny's diagnosis: THE FRIENDZONE. Good luck man, all hope may be lost
Apr 8 2012 12:10AM
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feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
thats probably the point. like two days after "this perfect connection" OP goes to fuck another chick.

no problem with that, but i love how he basically said that the original girl was his only and perfect chance to be happy for eternity, yet fucks another girl two days later just because the possibility was there.

obviously the first girl doesnt want him, but OP is full of shit
Apr 8 2012 4:50AM
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Kurah
Posts: 3 - Karma: 10
Damn, that sucks. If I were you, I'd forget her. I've personally been in this situation before, ofcourse I was the girl, and I felt horrible for doing it. It was honestly the only way to have him stop feeling something for me. She probably feels bad. That would be my guess, but she isn't telling you. If you stop talking to her, and act like you just don't care, she's bound to come back and try to be friends again.
Apr 8 2012 5:04AM
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Kurah
Posts: 3 - Karma: 10
i was thinkin the same thing.
Apr 8 2012 5:11AM
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t-roy
Posts: 4041 - Karma: 52
just do the Naked Man from how i met your mother...that will take care of things.
Apr 8 2012 10:14AM
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shane-mcwannabe
Posts: 27 - Karma: 597
So there is deffentally another guy and whatever you felt she never felt the same way cause you didn't make the moves on her. If you know she's texting a lot of guys that's your sign that you need to act fast. Girls attention span is one a few weeks, speaking from experience. Also you probally seemed too needy, we can sense desperation
Feb 23 2014 5:27AM
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Byron_tha_gr8
Posts: 4573 - Karma: 14,298
What a bump. Probably still really relevant.
Feb 23 2014 5:38AM
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Rusticles
Posts: 2179 - Karma: 1,334
This. Short to the point text messages, always have something else to keep you busy or at least say you do.

Also, maybe after hooking up she didn't think you were much of a stallion sexually.
Feb 23 2014 10:04AM
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MuckMaestro
Posts: 65 - Karma: 48
just give her the ol dipset. on to the next one
Feb 23 2014 9:49PM
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,500
You can't make every girl in the world want to have sex with you, but you can make them have sex with you. hope that helps
Feb 23 2014 9:51PM
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MNS
Posts: 5386 - Karma: 3,241
She just likes the thrill of the chase. Immature and not worth your time, move on.
Feb 24 2014 1:37PM
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DIX~
Posts: 4695 - Karma: 6,502
>there are people on ns that don't pay attention to dates
Feb 24 2014 1:43PM
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MNS
Posts: 5386 - Karma: 3,241
I don't pay attention to my dates, chicks dig assholes.
Feb 24 2014 1:56PM
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Rusticles
Posts: 2179 - Karma: 1,334
fuck just realized this is two years old
Feb 24 2014 2:00PM
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goodnoooo
Posts: 555 - Karma: 2,075
age?
Feb 24 2014 2:13PM
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ThatMNkid
Posts: 157 - Karma: 548
Welcome to the very ok world of reality, you'll see you can kind of fit in here, but not perfectly.
Feb 24 2014 3:22PM
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TheBigApple
Posts: 1169 - Karma: 488
ignore her...

works everytime, 37% of the time
Feb 24 2014 3:29PM
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snowpocalypse
Posts: 1036 - Karma: 3,525
Good job son, Nothing gets you out of the friend zone faster that hooking up with a friend of hers. The facts are out as to why she originally didn't want the relationship but Jealously is the real deal. Its all about supply and demand boys and girls.
Feb 24 2014 3:39PM
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.Apex.
Posts: 2097 - Karma: 1,556
Pretend not to care... Talk to other girls... She'll want the D
Feb 24 2014 3:44PM
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