So me and my friend (douche_dik) were just chillin' at our local hostess store, snatching up some deals - seriously, ten packs of donettes, twinkies or yodels for 3 bucks? Yes please. - When we stumbled upon a heaven for hobos and a valiant figure, we would later name Golem. The hobo paradise is an abandoned drive in movie theater that has been long forgotten by society and left to rot to hell, or heaven, depending on your income. The place is seriously fucked, looks like Chernobyl was just placed in the middle of our suburban town. Anyway, my friend and I were just strolling through the wasteland when we came upon a building blanketed in graffiti and rust, with a shopping cart sitting still outside of it. My friend Tim proclaimed "now that's a hobo cart" in a half serious half joking voice. So we continued to approach in a very not-give-a-fuck manner, when we chanced upon out glorious grey bearded man. He was laying there, surrounded by an army of empty jack daniel's bottles, looking like he couldn't give any less of a fuck about his own existence. But even better, he was naked, well nearly naked, tanning his whole body and nutsack in the 70 degree sun. I mean, his nutsack was just flopped out resting on his leg. Fuck it was cool.
We then crept away scared like little school girls, assuming we just saw a dead man. Also, we decided to name him Golem.
P.S. It saws 'watch my tits baby' on the wall next to him.
P.P.S. brool story co., watchoutwegotabadassoverhere.jpg, other bullshit.