Why only armadas? There are tons of skis that fit your description out there (on3p jeronimos, line blends, salomon twenty twelves, k2 Kung fujas, moment pb&js, others)
"What you are feeling is a base burn. The toilet bowl cleaner probably has a really high pH , and therefore must be neutralized with an acid that has a really low pH. So basically, you just need to stuff your asshole with the most acidic shit you can find, battery acid, sulfuric acid, nitric acid, whatever you can get your hands on. its gonna be a chemical showdown in your asshole today my friend."