Red Bull Unrailistic | LIVE Broadcast

Member of the Month

PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Mind bottling pooping question...

profile picture
R@ggaMuffin
Posts: 321 - Karma: 34
You guys know that half of guys wipe their ass standing after a good ol poo and the other half wipe sitting down, and almost no one realizes that the other method exists?
Jan 12 2011 5:26PM
0 0
profile picture
Bar_Down
Posts: 5896 - Karma: 395
has this ever happened to any sitters out there? either your water level is way too high, or you have an abnormally large cock, or you're doing it wrong.
Jan 12 2011 7:28PM
0 0
profile picture
smltownjibba
Posts: 246 - Karma: 7
all you standers just need to face the facts. your parents were wierd people who showed you how to do something wrong. If you are having a hard time wiping and checking paper while sitting down you are fat and you should go to the gym.
you probly piss sitting down too. no, that's not normal.
Jan 12 2011 7:50PM
0 0
profile picture
Obi-Wan-Jenobi
Posts: 951 - Karma: 119

you guys have fat buts. I sit, poop, wipe, check, repeat last 2 steps until desired effect is achieved, then stand up and leave. No mid poop stand neccesary

Jan 12 2011 7:54PM
0 0
profile picture
Bar_Down
Posts: 5896 - Karma: 395
i dont understand how everything is fine and dandy when you're sitting and shitting, but as soon as you try to wipe while sitting your cock suddenly decides to go for a drink
Jan 12 2011 7:54PM
0 0
profile picture
hoodratz47
Posts: 11992 - Karma: 9,212
https://newschoolers.com/ns/forums/readthread/thread_id/273131/

those are classic threads.. as is this.

stand and wad....

unless theres only one sheet left and then i put my pointer finger through the sheet and scrape off the poo with my finger and then pull off the sheet taking the poo with it.. and then a good hand washing.
Jan 12 2011 8:13PM
0 0
profile picture
Blake.P
Posts: 9894 - Karma: 3,585
what? you don't go through the front? the back seems like it would be uncomfortable and too much work. its not that hard to not get shit on your balls/gouch
Jan 12 2011 8:34PM
0 0
profile picture
zues
Posts: 6434 - Karma: -5,332
i stand up.. and you're right - i had no idea you could wipe sitting down...

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU WIPE SITTING DOWN???
Jan 12 2011 8:37PM
0 0
profile picture
B-runge
Posts: 16558 - Karma: 360
jokes?

that seems so difficult
Jan 12 2011 8:39PM
0 0
profile picture
Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,147
I just asked my fiance and he said that he does the "buick hood ornament" which is apparently standing, with a slight bend at the knees, and the torso bent forward as if to retrieve the snap from the center.
Jan 12 2011 8:50PM
0 0
profile picture
snowking249
Posts: 1452 - Karma: 34
This thread has made me realize so much
Jan 12 2011 9:00PM
0 0
profile picture
no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,270
you wipe your ass too, what's your method?
Jan 12 2011 9:03PM
0 0
profile picture
GayWolf420
Posts: 36696 - Karma: 110,718
GIRLS DON'T POOP THOUGH. ITS ALL LIES.
Jan 12 2011 9:05PM
0 0
profile picture
C-Burg
Posts: 4729 - Karma: 130
I do the third option
Jan 12 2011 9:06PM
0 0
profile picture
theline
Posts: 1507 - Karma: 92
i like how this topic emerges in every online forum eventually
Jan 12 2011 9:06PM
0 0
profile picture
Master_Debater
Posts: 1211 - Karma: 225
im going to drop some knowledge right here:
both methods are fine but sitting can be a health risk if you wipe back to front because some of your "sin" can get close enough to your junk to where bacteria can crawl up in dat penis and give you diseases and such
Jan 12 2011 9:12PM
0 0
profile picture
Dylan_
Posts: 9824 - Karma: 1,403
used to be a stander now im a sitter
Jan 12 2011 9:14PM
0 0
profile picture
saucybiscuits
Posts: 2554 - Karma: 173
as amazing as this may sound............... this is a repost.
Jan 12 2011 9:24PM
0 0
profile picture
statuswhitegirl
Posts: 4058 - Karma: 883
im a stander and i wipe it on the shower curtain because its not as dry feeling





Click for larger image
Jan 12 2011 9:52PM
0 0
profile picture
Jamestown
Posts: 4002 - Karma: 51
I lay down on my back when I'm done and put my legs up over my head, then wipe. Who the fuck remains seated or stands up? Am I right, or am I right?
Jan 12 2011 10:12PM
0 0
profile picture
alexg1687
Posts: 1505 - Karma: 1,581
no one has realised this is a joke. OP just wants you to try it standing up so you make a huge mess of yourself. people do it sitting down for a reason..
Jan 12 2011 10:21PM
0 0
profile picture
.frenchy
Posts: 18212 - Karma: 12,257

Sitting down ftw.

boggling?*

Jan 12 2011 10:22PM
0 0
profile picture
Lemuel
Posts: 14477 - Karma: 10,515
Yaa wtf, who stands up?
Jan 12 2011 10:23PM
0 0
profile picture
GeneralT
Posts: 912 - Karma: 19
sitter. my friend has a toliet that has a heated seat and sprays water on your butt when your down. its soo nice.
Jan 12 2011 10:25PM
0 0
profile picture
k-rob
Posts: 14217 - Karma: 2,891
well that movie sucked, so everyone who heard it sucked after everyone else saw it, didn't watch it.
Jan 12 2011 10:25PM
0 0
profile picture
Bar_Down
Posts: 5896 - Karma: 395
yes. thats the reason why i do it
Jan 12 2011 10:26PM
0 0
profile picture
alexg1687
Posts: 1505 - Karma: 1,581
ill keep that in mind incase i ever feel the sudden urge to get a sex change
Jan 12 2011 10:26PM
0 0
profile picture
Davy.Crockett
Posts: 5373 - Karma: 323
..
Jan 12 2011 10:32PM
0 0
profile picture
Lemuel
Posts: 14477 - Karma: 10,515
I just decided to read the thread after I posted, and wow has it been a while since I laughed so much. Seriously, wiping from the front? Standing up? Broken toilet seats? I don't even....
Jan 12 2011 10:39PM
0 0
profile picture
cwillygood
Posts: 6831 - Karma: 1,829
sitter for sure
Jan 12 2011 10:42PM
0 0
profile picture
Bar_Down
Posts: 5896 - Karma: 395
this sentence made me lol
Jan 12 2011 10:44PM
0 0
profile picture
Stickity
Posts: 7750 - Karma: 769
but it accommodates my excessive laziness
Jan 12 2011 10:48PM
0 0
profile picture
eheath
Posts: 61110 - Karma: 118,309
I sit, if you stand it squishes the poop together, making the mess worse.
Jan 13 2011 12:44AM
0 0
profile picture
Wall_Nut
Posts: 629 - Karma: 113
Tell me, big Papa, what is Sitting on a Dick like?
Jan 13 2011 12:46AM
0 0
profile picture
Bart.Man
Posts: 1742 - Karma: 1,951
Honestly? Do none of you get the reference?!?
Jan 13 2011 12:56AM
0 0
profile picture
uosdwiSrjewoH
Posts: 4220 - Karma: 121
very few pinknames in this thread...
Jan 13 2011 12:59AM
0 0
profile picture
BenWest
Posts: 470 - Karma: 89
LMAO, yeah i honestly had no idea that people stood up to wipe... blew my mind. far more interesting than anything I learned in class today
Jan 13 2011 1:03AM
0 0
profile picture
alexg1687
Posts: 1505 - Karma: 1,581
upon much deliberation i've realised standing up to wipe doesn't work...there's nowhere to put your laptop
Jan 13 2011 2:05AM
0 0
profile picture
muFFn
Posts: 1040 - Karma: 74
A better question to ask is which way do you wipe? Front to back? Or back to front?
Jan 13 2011 2:15AM
0 0
profile picture
ryantheconnolly
Posts: 2027 - Karma: 108
id say the reason we dont know the other method exists is because people dont discuss their pooping experiences as often as they should
Jan 13 2011 2:17AM
0 0
profile picture
Pool.
Posts: 2820 - Karma: 662
my freind has a washlet in every bathroom at his house, i take a dump there every time i go over, its like pooping in a cloud, the seats warm, dont have to wipe, its deotorized, literally its the shit (pun intended)
Jan 13 2011 3:00AM
0 0
profile picture
popNfresh44
Posts: 3757 - Karma: 44
All the people that stand up are probably the same people that perpetually smell like ass. You would have to bend over and separate your cheeks like you're about to get fucked from the rear to avoid getting shit all over your cheeks. As said before, your parents are just weird and probably did it as a cruel joke when they potty trained you. I don't see how some of you find it hard to check the paper while sitting down. I have been doing it since I was potty trained, and I have never gotten shit on myself once in my life. The toilet seat is designed to spread your ass to an optimal position so that your sphincter is accessible and not dangerously close to your surrounding ass skin. You are supposed to wipe sitting down!
Jan 13 2011 3:11AM
0 0
profile picture
B-runge
Posts: 16558 - Karma: 360
hell yeah poop&fresh knows whats up
Jan 13 2011 3:15AM
0 0
profile picture
Alex-NZ
Posts: 30 - Karma: 10
haha sums up my thoughts exactly.

I can just imagine now how retarded someone would look standing up. It's all about the lean to the side, I haven't broken my toilet seat yet.

But wiping from the front, that's gotta be a joke right?
Jan 13 2011 4:31AM
0 0
profile picture
Hemulen.
Posts: 448 - Karma: 17
.
Jan 13 2011 4:33AM
0 0
profile picture
.seb.
Posts: 1291 - Karma: 597
who would stand?
Jan 13 2011 6:35AM
0 0
profile picture
pmills
Posts: 7162 - Karma: 59
you say that like it's a bad thing
Jan 13 2011 7:50AM
0 0
profile picture
I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
has anyone ever pooped underwater ?

you should definately try it next time you go swimming!
Jan 13 2011 8:05AM
0 0
profile picture
alexg1687
Posts: 1505 - Karma: 1,581
no, but a friend told me a while ago that one of the greatest feelings in the world is pissing the bed...told me to do it on the last night at my next stay at a hotel. said it would be really satisfying, like you're a kid again or something. i have yet to try it...dont know if i want to
Jan 13 2011 8:11AM
0 0
profile picture
carbon.pulse
Posts: 3348 - Karma: 22
I thnk the big question is proper pooping technique. You have to land on one cheek then pull the other across pretty hard so that minimal ass is exposed to poops.

Personaly I am a stander as, when proper poooping technique is used one or two wipes will usually suffice but with the runs or as they may be referred to as "the never ending story" extra stretch may be needed post poop to ensure that the magority of poop is extracted. But I will definatley try and figure out this sitting down poop technique and give a full trip report tomorrow.
Jan 13 2011 8:23AM
0 0
profile picture
ReignMan
Posts: 1852 - Karma: 226
Dose anyone have the problem of shit dipping in to the toilet water. shit being not shit but penis.
Jan 13 2011 9:08AM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-4)