It was late....we were all pretty baked. As we walked up to the Armenian Genocide Memorial on the mountain by my house, we encountered a man and his daughter. They seemed to move with the fluidity of water. Using their feet, but, at the same time...not....as we sat down at the top, they came over and bid us a warm hello. After that hello, the man stood up and told me, "You can do anything, you know. You can even make dinosaurs exist if you try hard enough." After hearing this, my mind - as so many of you NSer's so aptly put it - was blown. And it was at that point, on that mountaintop, at that VERY second, where I met a velociraptor. For the first time in millions of years, I stood face-to-face, mano-e-dino with one of the most ferocious dinosaurs that walked the primordial earth. Cavemen feared them, other dinosaurs treaded lightly in the hopes that they wouldn't have the misfortune of encountering one of these ferocious beasts. Knowing this, I did what any reasonable human being would do, and ogled at the beast; knowing fully of its murderous capabilities. Then, out of nowhere, as if god itself had sent it from the heavens, a triceratops - smelling of lions and rage - trampled the raptor. Killing it instantly. It was at this point that I turned to my friends, "Dude...." I said in a hoarse, cracked voice. But before I could say any more, the triceratops spoke. "It is you, Todd. You have been chosen. Quickly, you must fashion a sword out of the Raptor's bones and ride me into battle.." Dumbfounded, the only reply I could come up with was, "B-Battle? W-with who?" Annoyed, the beast replied, "with the forces currently in motion." As he said this, the ground began to shake, and the whole world as I knew it disappeared. In my left hand was a sword, sharp as a fresh X-acto blade, and in my right....a golden scepter full of fruit-loops. All around me were voices of evil men from the past. I knew then, what I had to do. And, with a heroic leap, I leaped onto the triceratops and rode into glorious battle. As the legions of men, faithfully following their generals marched towards me and my trusty steed in full battle gear, I felt a strange thing awaken inside of me. Like a lion finding and closing in on its prey. And so we charged, headlong into the combined forces of all of the greatest armies history had to offer. It was madness. The screaming men, the blood, the gore, the sound of bones crunching beneath my triceratops feet. It all blended into white noise.....and thats when I woke up lying face down on a sidewalk in down town San Francisco at 2 in the morning.
500th post. sup.
