so asian allen post on his fb page that is giving a pir of line skis to the first person who writes the best story of their ideal date with apeman. i wrte mine incredibly detailed and gay cuz i was bored as shit. here it is:
i spot him across the bar he is looking so savage, so raw i need to have him. i approach but not too fast i dont want to set off his natural killing instinct. slowly i make my way to him and ask if i can sit next to him. he replys with a grunt that makes my heart beat a little faster. i extend my hand to his to establish friendship. he reaches out and takes mine in his warm hairy grip. hello he says i am apeman. from their i tell him how his eye color complements his brute physique. i also take note of how great his i am a skier t shirt is. he thanks me. i invite him to a table so we can continue our chat. he accepts and takes my hand to escort me to a table. as we are walking i notice others admiration for our wonderful connection. we work so well together, man and beast walking together. once we find our way to an empty table the waiter comes and takes our orders. he orders the filet mignon while i opt for the lobster.as we wait for our food he tells me of his life being raised by jane goodal and how he spent the summer skiing the mossy turf of the jungle. we realize we are meant for each other and are truly soul mates. after we finish our meal i lead him to my car and take him back to my place. once were there we relax on my new italian leather sofa and watch the traveling circus. he tells me how he has always dreamed of skiing on real snow. i sympathize for his lack of the greatest sport ever created. its getting late so i exchange phone numbers and invite him to go skiing with me. he tells me that would be wonderful. we embrace, man in beast and for just that single minute i feel a peace i have never felt before.
then about two hours later it dawns on me. asian allen is broke and is selling skis right now so he can pay rent. then idiocracy kicks in. the worse part is he said the story was awesome
R.I.P. Saucer Boy you will never be forgotten
His name was robert paulson