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March, 2024

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A virgin in need!!!!

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skiingisballer
Posts: 8 - Karma: 10
My girlfriend thinks its high time to fuck, and so do I, but I'm scared shitless. I'm really not looking to have a fucking kid and she won't go on birth control, so its up to me to wrap it up. I'm not packing a fucking canon or anything but I think she'll get the job done. I have now idea what the fuck to do. What kind to buy? What size to buy? When should i put it on? Should I have her put it on? How long I should last?


Help me out here. I'm terrified.
Oct 14 2009 4:24AM
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popNfresh44
Posts: 3757 - Karma: 44
way too funny LOL
Oct 14 2009 2:30PM
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Alehandro
Posts: 818 - Karma: 12
you got laid?
Oct 14 2009 2:31PM
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spliff.Life
Posts: 7847 - Karma: 1,549
yeah! kinda a while ago. sorry you werent there to see it hahaha

didnt you get laid in college breh?
Oct 14 2009 2:35PM
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JakeC
Posts: 2160 - Karma: 101
cant tell if that was sarcasm or not.
Oct 14 2009 2:41PM
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casual
Posts: 6712 - Karma: 6,746
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Oct 14 2009 2:43PM
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Delphi
Posts: 3748 - Karma: 36
first time will probably make you feel like shit, because first times never go too smoothly, but keep at it, you are out to embark upon a great (the greatest) adventure in life. Nah, just kidding, sex is sick and all, but as you get a bit older and have done it a lot, you start to value the emotional connection. At least I am, probably because me and my woman I'm taking to the dance go to separate colleges. Only get to see eachother about every 3 weeks.
Oct 14 2009 2:45PM
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Hogis
Posts: 551 - Karma: 393
Got one word for ya: Alcohol
Oct 14 2009 2:50PM
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Cudder.
Posts: 2248 - Karma: 307
do it at  a party and get really drunk then it doesnt matter if you fuck up
Oct 14 2009 2:50PM
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Mr.O
Posts: 1582 - Karma: 23

Haha actually if you get hammered enough you will either a) get whiskey dick and havve trouble getting it up or b) if you can get it up, youll have trouble getting off

Dont worry about it is all I have to say, as long as she is having a good time and getting the pleasure you should be happy.

Oct 14 2009 3:01PM
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CJHski
Posts: 2384 - Karma: 126
ironic your name is "BONERZ"
Oct 14 2009 3:10PM
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Brows.
Posts: 1497 - Karma: 13
is that what you do?
Oct 14 2009 3:17PM
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debrickshaw
Posts: 1957 - Karma: 68
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Oct 14 2009 3:37PM
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daytripper67
Posts: 681 - Karma: 11
dude cool it all he said was it wouldnt hurt to smoke or have a couple drinks beforehand... not a big deal at all. you sound like a dare officer
Oct 14 2009 3:38PM
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debrickshaw
Posts: 1957 - Karma: 68
sig'd
Oct 14 2009 3:39PM
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spliff.Life
Posts: 7847 - Karma: 1,549
yes, i said a few drinks as in around  2 maybe 3. and for many of us on here (i think) blazing a bowl is an everyday or at least a not out of the ordinary thing
Oct 14 2009 4:07PM
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Frank_Spinatra
Posts: 1203 - Karma: 75
haha the advice has slowly been going down hill as the day goes on.  It's your girlfriend man, don't smoke or drink.  This isn't some nut you're trying to bust on some skank in college.  Half the people here giving you advice are virgins and reading through this thread I'm pretty sure I can pick a few out.  Anyways, like I previously said, since this is your gf and your first time, performance should be the last thing on your mind.  The next few times when you aren't nervous and just having fun you'll improve exponentially.
Oct 14 2009 4:20PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
This man speaks the truth.   My first time, I didn't last and my gf just sorta let out this little giggle and said we will get more practice in and later we would last much longer and be much more pleasurable.  And it is the truth.
Oct 14 2009 4:22PM
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casual
Posts: 6712 - Karma: 6,746
You're still here?

Since you wanna play that role, no, I'm not a DARE officer, but I am a recovering alcoholic/drug addict who's seen people die who started using in order to "loosen up"/aka be able to go through everyday life stuff. It's exactly the wrong reason to drink/use.

Maybe the comment didn't warrant my "serious" response, but it was shit advice, and I felt compelled to say so.


Oct 14 2009 5:37PM
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el_chupacabra
Posts: 639 - Karma: 14
hahaha this advice is golden
Oct 14 2009 6:25PM
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justinTpetricko
Posts: 287 - Karma: 1,043
get blazed then try it
Oct 14 2009 6:27PM
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KFRADtheLaxBro
Posts: 632 - Karma: 10
ZIP IT CUNT!
Oct 14 2009 6:28PM
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daringharry
Posts: 1627 - Karma: 12
would you like to join a ganstah troll clan?
Oct 14 2009 6:36PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
It's the truth though.
Oct 14 2009 6:37PM
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MrJesseHealy
Posts: 927 - Karma: 96

Whatever you do...

Make sure you never blow directly into the woman's vagina. Studies show that the air goes right to her head, causing her to explode.

Oct 14 2009 6:47PM
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yojimbo
Posts: 3631 - Karma: 27
just get a little booze in ya then bend the bitch over and let the animal inside of you take over. fuck condoms man, just get the bitch pregnant then laugh at her when she tells you and dont ever see her again.
Oct 14 2009 6:58PM
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7-3instacall
Posts: 999 - Karma: 1,005

getdrunk

havesex beforehaving sex

Oct 14 2009 7:05PM
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daringharry
Posts: 1627 - Karma: 12
yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Oct 14 2009 7:07PM
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Frank_Spinatra
Posts: 1203 - Karma: 75
sooo, when is the big night??  If you're gonna share this much with NS you have to keep us informed.
Oct 14 2009 7:07PM
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skiingisballer
Posts: 8 - Karma: 10
Tomorrow night.
Oct 14 2009 7:30PM
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bsuthjwu
Posts: 320 - Karma: 8

ahaha, how old are you?

Oct 14 2009 7:55PM
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.Apex.
Posts: 2097 - Karma: 1,556
you want to buy extra large cause when she opens it shell read it and be like dam then ull take of ur pants and she'll be like ohhhhhhhhh, or u could get ne size you want for 5 swagbucks >> swagbucks-signup.tk  , wayyyy cheaper and easier
Oct 14 2009 8:07PM
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Delphi
Posts: 3748 - Karma: 36
pics or it didn't happen as well...
Oct 14 2009 8:08PM
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ManOnTheMoon
Posts: 515 - Karma: 17
That's a real good call
Oct 14 2009 8:15PM
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Frank_Spinatra
Posts: 1203 - Karma: 75
It's really romantic to film it so you can always remember the first time.  Then post it on NS.
Oct 14 2009 8:21PM
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SethLangbauer
Posts: 1119 - Karma: 74
i just laughed like actually.
Oct 14 2009 8:28PM
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J-Wallz
Posts: 1264 - Karma: 54
yup pretty much what u should do
Oct 14 2009 8:29PM
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smooticus
Posts: 1798 - Karma: 27
My first time i was so nervous i couldnt finish, i actually faked it. So remember to just relax, dont worry about what condoms to get, i like ultra thin trojans, although they break pretty easy so start out with regular ones, trojans are tight on me and i think im pretty average so dont freak if it hurts a little when you put it on. But really remember to just relax, dont worry about how well your doing, focus on yourself. She is your girlfriend so you can always redeem yourself another time, keep that in mind.
Oct 14 2009 8:42PM
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MOGULS...
Posts: 505 - Karma: 194
word dogger, i ALWAYS pee in the butt
Oct 14 2009 8:45PM
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Pow.yuHdig*
Posts: 1903 - Karma: 146
hahaha "im not packing a canon or anyhting" hahaha
Oct 14 2009 8:46PM
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PaleCelery
Posts: 7228 - Karma: 608
I'm packing a nikon
Oct 14 2009 8:50PM
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the_moderaper
Posts: 2465 - Karma: 218
trick tip of the day: dont leave your car parked in the tunnel

aka dont leave it in and stop moving it. keep a good constant pace going. and dont jam it in as far and hard as you can... i dont reccomend peeing in her butt either... make sure to shave ur self clean too. and dont keep going after ur done. it can cause the condom to slip off eventually and is obvious that ur already done
Oct 14 2009 8:51PM
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Crack.
Posts: 6020 - Karma: 86
did you just say dogger?
Oct 14 2009 8:52PM
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daringharry
Posts: 1627 - Karma: 12
bonerz is sadly off my team

i am holding interviews, first come first serve.
Oct 14 2009 8:52PM
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daytripper67
Posts: 681 - Karma: 11
first of all, stop taking what i say so seriously and personally to the point where you cant reply to something i say without getting butthurt.

second of all, just because you are a recovering addict doesnt mean other people can have a couple drinks or smoke some grass without fucking shit up/being a bad person. are you really trying to reprimand someone for saying he maybe could smoke or drink a couple with his girlfriend? have you seriously never smoked or drank with your girlfriend before having sex? give me a fucking break
Oct 14 2009 9:10PM
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daytripper67
Posts: 681 - Karma: 11
doesnt mean other people can't***
Oct 14 2009 9:10PM
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Quinn
Posts: 1428 - Karma: 16
just laughed really hard in the middle of the library b/c of that for some reason
Oct 14 2009 9:34PM
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HenniferLopez
Posts: 1319 - Karma: 136
my question as well..
Oct 14 2009 10:22PM
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the_moderaper
Posts: 2465 - Karma: 218
hahhaa
Oct 14 2009 10:43PM
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jibbinc.
Posts: 3355 - Karma: 2,497
If its your first time don't expect to last longer then 5 minutes.
Oct 14 2009 10:50PM
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clandemush
Posts: 589 - Karma: 53
hahahhahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahah


hahah



ha
Oct 14 2009 10:52PM
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