hey dude, you should try searchbarring. I made a thread on this a while ago with all my best ones.
linkage:
https://www.newschoolers.com/web/forums/readthread/thread_id/405062/
And the jokes:
How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it's head.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby sitting next to a kid with down syndrome.
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?
Fucked.
How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
Nail its other hand to the floor.
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?
Art.
How do you stop a baby falling down a well?
Stick a javelin through it's head.
How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.
What's white and red and hangs from a telephone wire?
A baby shot through a snowblower.
What do you get when you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
Deep Throat.
Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?
So you can see the expression on its face!
What's more fun than strapping a baby to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 200km/h?
Stopping it with a shovel.
What's the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
Grandmothers don't die when you fuck them up the ass
How do you stop a baby from choking?
Take your dick out of its mouth.
What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
You don't have to bleed the golden delicious apple before you take a bite out of it
What's worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
What's worse than a dead baby in a trashcan lid?
A trashcan lid in a dead baby.
Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was chained to a bumper
What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.
How many dead babies can fit in a barrel?
4 1/2.
What is pink and red and sits in a corner?
A baby chewing on razor blades.
What is green and sits in a corner?
The same baby, six weeks later
What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead baby?
A watermelon floats.
What's red, screams and goes around in circles?
A baby with its foot nailed to the floor.
What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby?
Threesomes.
What goes plop, plop, fizz, fizz?
Twins in an acid bath.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a felt tip marker?
You don't get second looks when you're writing with a felt tip marker!
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ?
Cancer.
What is the definition of revenge?
A baby with a dog in its mouth.
How are babies and the elderly alike?
Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.
What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life
You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter
What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in 1 trash can?
Finding 1 dead baby in 7 trash cans.
What's worse than smoking pot with a baby?
Making a bong out of it
What's the safest way to play with a baby ?
With a condom.
Whats Worse than 1000 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to a 1000 trees.
What's small, and red, and full of holes?
A baby on a bed of nails.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?
A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.
What's the difference between a baby and a bagel?
You can put a bagel in the toaster. You have to put the baby in the oven.
What is red and pink and can't turn round in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin through its throat.
What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding?
A baby in a microwave.
What's grosser than gross?
A garbage can full of dead babies.
What's grosser than that?
The one at the bottom is still alive.
What's grosser than that?
He has to eat his way to freedom.
What's grosser than that?
He goes back for more.
What happens when you burn baby's face off?
It makes weird noises and crawls into walls.
What do you call a dead baby pinned to your wall?
Art.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
You don't cry when you chop up a dead baby.
What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape?
The VHS tape doesn't stink when you leave it out in the sun .
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby.
Why did the toddler drop it's lollipop?
It was hit by a truck.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
You can't fuck a table.
