In coordination with Camp of Champions, we proudly present you the ‘Be the NS Bitch’ contest. There are four separate chances to win (one for each session of COC) with four separate winners, and if you happen to be one of those lucky four, check this out…you get to come and live at the NS pad in Whistler with us for a week, for free, and you can ski Camp of Champions’ lane all week long, for free, where you’ll be treated to breakfast and lunch every day, for free. Not too shabby eh? The only thing you have to do is get yourself to Whistler, as Schmuck sucked the travel budget dry this past winter.
The one and only downside to this ridiculously sweet offer is that in exchange, you have to be the NS staff's bitch for the week. I mean, this is roughly a $2000 offer, so it’s only fair right? You’ll have to go get us pizza, carry our skis, do the dishes, keep the place clean and if you bring a girl home, we get first dibs. But don’t worry, we’re actually all ridiculously laid-back, nice guys, so more than anything, you’ll just be chilling with us for a week of summertime fun and getting to ski your brains out for free.
As was mentioned, there’s going to be four separate contests, one for each session of COC, and Jeff Schmuck, Jason Mousseau and Jeff Amantea will be judging them very selectively, as we have to live with you for a week. Here’s the dates, details and what you have to do to win...
COC Session 1 (June 21st – June 28th) ‘The Centerfold”
An absolutely ridiculous photo of you, repping NS as hard as humanly possible. Think about it, this offer is worth about 2 G’s, so you have to make it good. A shot of you holding your skis with some NS stickers on it or wearing an NS shirt isn’t going to cut it. Get creative, get wild, get stupid and get er done. Email your entries to email@example.com. Any photos posted in the forums will be disregarded. This contest begins today and the deadline is Sunday, June 15th, with the winner being announced the following day.
COC Session 2 (June 28th – July 5th) ‘The Golden Ticket’
Beginning today, there will be an item available in the NS store called ‘The COC Golden Ticket.’ The COC Golden Ticket will be an obnoxiously big, blinged-out gold NS sticker. To enter, go to the store and pay $10 for your chance to win it. Each buyer’s name will be entered into a random draw and the winner will be selected on Friday, June 20th and notified the following day, and will be presented with The COC Golden Ticket upon arrival in Whistler. Unfortunately, we had to melt down all of our bling and Doug’s girlfriend’s jewelry (and boy is she pissed!) to make this sticker, so there is only one available. However the rest of the entries will receive a limited edition NS n00b sticker.
COC Session 3 (July 5th – July 12th) ‘The Pulitzer’
In 500 words or less (for the love of God), explain why we should pick you to live with us for a week, ski COC for free and be the NS Bitch. Make it heartfelt, emotional, funny, demanding, or whatever you damn well please, but make it good, and spelling-mistake free. And if it’s one word over 500, you’ll be disqualified faster than the bullet train from Tokyo to Osaka. This contest begins today and the deadline is Sunday, June 22nd, and the winner will be drunkenly announced by Schmuck on Wednesday, June 25th (since it’s his birthday). Again, email all your entries to firstname.lastname@example.org (entries in the forums will be disregarded).
COC Session 4 (July 12th – July 19th) 'The Cut of Champions'
This is the big one, as it’s for the last week of the glacier and shit will be going down. So with that in mind, No one likes a bad haircut...except us. So head down to your local Supercuts or the shitty salon where no one speaks English and get yourself a bad haircut. Mullets, bowl cuts, cul-de-sacs, the fade, speed lines and all other sorts of doozies are recommended and will be strongly considered. The catch is, you're not allowed to already have a bad haircut. You need to take two photos of yourself, one before the massacre, and one after. The contest begins today and ends on Thursday, July 3rd with the winner being announced the following day. Email your shots to email@example.com (again, all entries in the forums will be disregarded), and if you show up in Whistler without the bad haircut rest assured the NS dream team will make you do extra bitch work as punishment for not showing that bad boy off to everyone who had to pay to come to camp.
A couple of notes about these contests. First, and most importantly...don’t enter if you can’t get yourself to Whistler! We don’t want to pick a winner and then have them bail at the last second therefore robbing someone else of this amazing opportunity. All contests begin today but end at seperate times to give adequate time for the entries and for us to choose the winners, and we've allowed for at least a week at the end of each contest for the winners to make travel arrangements. Second, we strongly advise only entering the contest(s) for whichever session you can make, as we realize many of you have other commitments throughout the summer whether it be work, school, or your grandma’s birthday. Third, please be aware that these contests are open to both males and females, but you must be over the age of 16. Sorry kids, but we don't want to be babysitters.