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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,342
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,342
yes
Nov 3 2008 8:49PM
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averyshyra
Posts: 1184 - Karma: 731
I didnt read them all, so this may be common and already said, but uhh

after a 7 in the pipe, shitty at the best

"HOLY SHIT THATS GOTTA BE SHAUN WHITE OR TANNER HALL"

Nov 3 2008 8:52PM
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C+Thompson
Posts: 434 - Karma: 97
Wow, this thread is still around?
Excellent.
Keep them coming, i don't have any right now, but I expect they'll be coming in.
Nov 3 2008 9:16PM
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treebeard
Posts: 3590 - Karma: 1,065
ohhh... the thread's 500th post... i get it now
Nov 3 2008 9:16PM
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sirskizalot
Posts: 4370 - Karma: 161
at the start of last season a kid at my school "OMG you can 540!?!?!?"
Nov 3 2008 10:08PM
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Sean...M
Posts: 2450 - Karma: 14
eh kinda a gaper

i was getting interviewed for my school newspaper because they were doing a segment on skiing and snowboarding. So the girl interviewing asks

Girl: Okay, so what kind of ski's do you use?
Me: Ninthward Butterlicious's
Girl: Uhh...
Me: Keep it ninthward bitch!


I didnt really say the last part but yeah the look on her face was priceless

Nov 4 2008 2:46AM
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paone
Posts: 593 - Karma: 266

i hate that when families use the park as groomers and u almost land on the little kids and the parents come up and scream at u.  at least when my parents came into the park to watch theyd stand on the side.

Nov 4 2008 4:57AM
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paone
Posts: 593 - Karma: 266

i was skiing switch down a run away from everyone else and i stopped on a knuckle to put my earphone back in.  this 8 year old girls rams into me cause she didnt no how to stop.  shes down but she doesnt look hurt so i reach down and ask her if shes ok and pick her up.  her dad comes speeding down and tackles me and screams "DONT KIDNAP MY DAUGHTER" and tries to hold me down.  His daugther comes up and says "no daddy i hit him and he was helping me up" but he said "no dear he was trying to kidnap you"  i later found out he was from LA or something like that.  wasnt happy

Nov 4 2008 5:01AM
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MO-gan
Posts: 720 - Karma: 21
wow are you serious
that dad is fucking crazy
Nov 4 2008 6:41PM
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j.saaaarela
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 856
last season, I was hitting up picknshovel (PC), and this lady and her five kids are playing under the lip of the last jump (like behind the jump where u cant see). So she's letting her kids climb around and romp, and I can only see one of them (next to the lady) and they'r both looking at me while im on my way towards the jump, so i assumed that there were nokids under the jump(oops). so the second i go off the lip, all the kids decide to stand up (4ft tall kids, 4.5ft lip). flailing in the air, i try to miss them by sort of diving over them----ouch.... i missed all of them, but hurt my back for the rest of the day. so while im sliding down the 50 ft landing, the lady skis (if u can call it that) down to me, and trips over my skis-which are 20 ft above me. she proceeds to tell me that if she ever saw me again she wouldd call the cops.i tell her to watch her kids in the park, and that i couldn;'t see them, and to keep her kids off of the most dangerous place to stand in the park. for all of u that are gonna say: why didn't u pop off the jump? i had no time to load an extrapop in there, and 2, this jump wasnt too poppy itself, so i probably cleared the kids by lees than a ft. ..... never saw them in picknshovel again..... good
Nov 4 2008 6:43PM
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ilikeplants
Posts: 1868 - Karma: 17

last weekend at loveland some dude in jeans came up to me as i was getting out of my skis..

"how come you dont have poles but everyone else does?" - dude
"i just dont like poles and i dont use them for anything so i dont ski with them" - me
"so you don't actually need poles?" - dude
"no, you dont need them to ski." - me
"so i dont have to use poles?" - dude
"no" - me
"how do i get moving?" -dude
"i have to go." - me

i walked away

Nov 4 2008 7:15PM
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ski-plastic
Posts: 311 - Karma: 64
Not really a gaper quote... but probably the funniest moment of last season

Picture the scene: theres me, one of my flatmates, this over cheery southern gaper chick and her friend ridin the lift up beside the park. Important note.. my mate is major fucked off cause hes havin a shit day and his ipod battery has just died.

gaper chick: (after finishing off an amazingly boring story about how she got her skis) so do you 2 do any of that stuff? (points to the park)
me: sure
gaper chick: is it hard?
me: depends what youre tryin to do
gaper chick: are backflips hard?
me: only if you land on your head
(short silence... I can see my mate is gettin extra pissed cause this girls accent is so annoyin)
me: you wanna see me try do one of the jumps?
flatmate: no... I'd rather see you choke on my semen but santa didnt bring me what I wanted for christmas and Ive got a funny feelin im gonna get dissapointed here as well!
me: *uncontrolable laughter*
Nov 6 2008 6:29PM
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sklermang
Posts: 2981 - Karma: 1,953
hahahah the asian gapers
Nov 6 2008 10:10PM
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Mr_W00
Posts: 164 - Karma: 12

so this was a few years ago but it is still stuck in my mind. so i was up with 2 of my friends and we were on a 2 seater so i got stuck with some strange kid(who is actually older than me). this is the comversation the best i can remember it.

ME-hey

him- do you have any gummy bears?

me- no...?

him-oh to bad..........................................do you have any popcorn?

me- does it look like i have any popcorn?

him- (he looks at me confused) do you have any popcorn?

me- no i dont have any popcorn

him- DANG to bad, if you had popcorn we coulda' had a party

he then look at my poles and procedes to say

him- you gotta hold your poles like diss!!!(the dumb ass drops on of his poles right after he said that)

me- are you serious?

him-(screaming and crying) MY POLE, YOU GOTTA GET MY POLE, my pole, get it for me

me-no

the crying continued intill i got off the chair and he fell off the chair on to the loading ramp. i never saw him again but that chair ride has scarred me for life.

Nov 6 2008 11:07PM
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cashdebt
Posts: 2383 - Karma: 349
were do they put all the bumps when the snows gone
Nov 6 2008 11:23PM
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mr_shifty
Posts: 316 - Karma: 16
Gaper= O, you do freestyle, so you go off those ramps and do twists.

Me- Ya , you mean the jumps

Gaper- Have you ever snowboarded

Me- Ya, I have snowboarded for 5 years and skied for 14.

Gaper- Then why do you ski if you like going off the jumps, snowboarding is cooler.

Me- This whole time i was with another friend who was a skier and we just walked away


You should try snowboarding, skiing is for old people and gapers,( gaper telling me this while he had a huge gaper gap(goggle gap) and had his jeans tucked into his boots.
Nov 19 2008 7:22PM
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SteezyOhio
Posts: 6044 - Karma: 60
haha yea
i always get ski patrol
p: hey im gonna need you to take down that jump your builiding.
me: why its like 3 feet tall
p: cause somebody could hurt them selves on it
me: well id rather the kids hurt themselfs her then on the 25 footer
p: well arnt you a cocky skier?
me: yea sorta i hate waiting for the little rental kids to get in line and cut V -vagina jumps cause that flat ground the table and i hate waiting for them to get sledded of the landing
p: take down your jump!
me: no i dont want to
p: take it down!
me: you take it down if you want it down so bad
Nov 19 2008 10:17PM
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D-Ross
Posts: 308 - Karma: 16
I love it when gapers just straight line the park and start teetering just flying. Then the awesome crash on flat.
Nov 19 2008 10:32PM
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thathyphykid
Posts: 174 - Karma: 14
Gaper-My legs are getting offly cold.
Me- Why don't you where ski pants?
Gaper- Well, jeans keep you warmer

Nov 19 2008 10:52PM
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hugehead
Posts: 45 - Karma: 10
The funniest thing is the amount of shit people will buy.
I know this guy who has 3 boards and 2 pairs of skis. He gets brand new Sessions, Burton, and VZ shit every year. Such a poser. And he thinks he's the shit 'cause he works at sports chalet in the bay. He skis probably 10 days a season and can barely make it down the hill in a snowplow.
Nov 19 2008 11:20PM
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Runthered
Posts: 208 - Karma: 7
so im chillen on the chair
and this fukken mexican dude on the chair is like
mexican "why dont you gap that house"
me "what do you mean"
the jump is 15 ft at most and the house is behind it like 60 ft away
mexican "you know like if i had my snowboard here i would go off that jump and land on that house"
me "oh ya sure you would"
he is the dirtyest guy ever like small shit stash and full shit colored suit
mexican "ya im thinking of being pro but i dont know i dont want to have to sign all those autographs it would be tireing
me "um okay man you dont have to tell me your life story"
mexican "oh ya i guess well have fun i might be back in a month to sign some autograghs so all talk to you again"
i was lauphing histarically till i got to the parkand tell all my friends
and they just were like whats up hero and shit like that the rest of the day
lol
Nov 19 2008 11:56PM
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CassieM
Posts: 147 - Karma: 11
i always get the "why are you in the snowboard park? you're a skier. and why are you even in here-you're a girl!" im just like "yea no kidding" and ski off.
Nov 20 2008 4:17PM
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[MEGAMO]
Posts: 1222 - Karma: 18
oh my god i hate that. i told some old woman off at copper last week because she was doing that. then some stupid gaper family climbed this little hip with a log job on top, and sat there for like 5 min taking a picture.
Nov 20 2008 5:03PM
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Dainsey
Posts: 2263 - Karma: 378
i've gotten the
how old do deer hav to be wen they turn to elk? southerner indeed
  i also went off a jump (it's on my profile) wen i was like 12 0r 11 and this girl just skies down the landing cus she gets more "speed" i literally landed in her skis. i was like flaling in the air. people on the lift were like swaring at her..but she didnt speak english
and her mom was like oh u ignorant fool u went off the jump wen she was gettting "speed"
but u gotta love gapers
their the ones givin the resort money AND they always say something that's real funnyy
Nov 20 2008 6:15PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
HAHA
i LOLOLOLOLED!

that is hilarious.
that is something that we would get in PA...
Nov 20 2008 6:19PM
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[MEGAMO]
Posts: 1222 - Karma: 18
your post count says 55 and your karma is like 26000, wtf
Nov 21 2008 1:58AM
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DownhillDink
Posts: 129 - Karma: 11
i love the grass comment
Nov 21 2008 3:08AM
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Dub_Digital
Posts: 2792 - Karma: 627
Not a quote, but does anyone else hate when you see a gaper skiing the bumps with snowblades and poles ?...I tend to see them doing this more in the spring time...idk why

It just makes me want to kill a gaper
Nov 22 2008 2:16AM
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Obsessedwski
Posts: 2261 - Karma: 71
What? You haven't yet? That's like Newschool skiing 101!!
Duh!
Nov 22 2008 5:15AM
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24704 - Karma: 29,687
I hate to mack on where I'm from.. but some people from the SF Bay Area just don't understand shit sometimes...

"I don't like powder, its so hard to ski in, because you have to go REALLY FAST"

Oh, and I love ski patrollers who go out of their way to be dicks...

-I just spayed my friends with some snow at the bottom of the run, and they laughed-
-Guy comes running up out of nowhere, and says in an obviously foreign accent-
patrol "HEY! DONT DO THAT! PEOPLE DONT LIKE THAT!"
me: "dude.. their my buddies.. Its all good"
patrol "well.. do you think they like that?" *points to the guys*
friend jake: "yes, we love being sprayed by white stuff dont you?"

lets just say the look on the guys face was pretty classic after that statement.
Nov 22 2008 6:02AM
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skiP.E.I.
Posts: 7605 - Karma: 20,103
Last year at Marble Mountain, I was riding up the lift with three of my friends who snowboard, and we see a gaper slowplowing his way through the bumps in jeans tucked into his boots, so two of my friends (girls) started giggling about skiing in jeans, so i was like "yeah that's a sure sign that you're a gaper" and my friend Ashley screams GAPERRRRR as loud as she could, then she was like
"Haha what did I just say?"
Nov 22 2008 1:36PM
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Dainsey
Posts: 2263 - Karma: 378
haha i was riding up the lift and under the lift there were moguls and this kid and his friend were skiing it (both nubs) and one of em was like "yahh trick yahh!" and i almost killled a baby.
mainstream hip hop pisses me off.
Nov 22 2008 5:45PM
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Ben.
Posts: 21463 - Karma: 683
people talking about mainstream hip hop sucking pisses me off.

now i agree. soulja boy is among the worst things to happen to music.

but get off your pompous ass, you arent cooler just because you hate on mainstream rap.
Nov 22 2008 5:53PM
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Dainsey
Posts: 2263 - Karma: 378
yeah my bad ben.
i was tlkin bout soulja  boy
i have a a lotta respect for lil wayne, lupe and all those artists
but soulja boy...
Nov 22 2008 6:00PM
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Ben.
Posts: 21463 - Karma: 683
hahaha thats better. now im not saying that i dont like underground.

you listen to underground for the lyrics, for "smart" hip hop

but theres nothing wrong with getting pumped up to some mainstream shit. its still fun to listen to.

soulja boy however can step in front of a truck. its not even rap, its just him talking/yelling
Nov 22 2008 6:04PM
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4frntfisherman
Posts: 122 - Karma: 20
I can count the number of rap songs I like on my fingers... I even know the names of some artists...
To each his own, but I like to hear some Rock and Roll while I ski.
Nov 23 2008 9:27PM
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A.P.
Posts: 667 - Karma: 135
im in the park yesterday working on some stuff when this girl(early twenties), a gaper, come up to me and starts talking to. shes like im new to park and i sometimes get really scared to jump the rails and boxes.  i know boxes are easy and u just go over them but rails you got to turn like sideways can you help me at all i get really scared.  Meanwhile im trying to keep a straight face and not laugh and tell her to get away, but i just saymake sure you commit that really helps.  i later see her overshot the tire jib and gets carted off
Nov 23 2008 10:05PM
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ataraxia
Posts: 903 - Karma: 117
dude can you spin like 1050s? my friend can i swear!
Nov 23 2008 10:13PM
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MCIRONCOCK
Posts: 3094 - Karma: 30
So... you didn't teach her 1's and 3's, ski with her the rest of the day, and have a shot at some poon?
Nov 23 2008 10:27PM
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A.P.
Posts: 667 - Karma: 135
haha now way she was hit annoying as fuck for the 5 mins i talked to her and she cant ski lol
Nov 23 2008 10:37PM
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Ben.
Posts: 21463 - Karma: 683
man that aint cool. she was just looking for some help
Nov 24 2008 4:42PM
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treebeard
Posts: 3590 - Karma: 1,065
i guess you were at springs over the weekend? it was alright

anyway, i give her credit for at least hitting the tire jib. i mean, she probably didnt entirely know what she was getting herself into, but at least she went for it. thats better than i can say about myself...
new skis, first day... i bitched out.
Nov 24 2008 10:56PM
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Peach.
Posts: 3879 - Karma: 933
no its illegal in 38 states
Nov 25 2008 12:22AM
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50in07
Posts: 3070 - Karma: 1,471
My grandma referring to me when i opened my kaos from the box
"They sent you two boots you'll have to return them."
Nov 29 2008 12:16PM
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chody_miller33
Posts: 766 - Karma: -38

ok so we got this fuckin idiot at  the hill and he just rolls over the umps and when ever like someone ok hits the jump he will be like u idiot u r recking the lip it is so funny.

also lke when like u will throw i really smooth 5 all the kids will say dude he is good it is so funny.

Nov 29 2008 12:27PM
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Obsessedwski
Posts: 2261 - Karma: 71
...what?
Nov 29 2008 2:48PM
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C.Wood
Posts: 2524 - Karma: 180
hes saying how gapers or noobs(call them what you want) get really exciting and think a guy is amazing when he can do a 360 or 540
Nov 29 2008 3:03PM
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Thenowhereman42
Posts: 5682 - Karma: 65
Yeah this is because Burton has a subdivision called Analog and people seem to think its a ski company and confuse it with Armada/Atomic alot for some reason.
Nov 29 2008 4:49PM
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Vino
Posts: 2939 - Karma: 1,117

one of my non-skier friend told me this:

me: im going skiing tonight

him : dont go there your gonna kill yourself

me : why ?

him : its too dark, you wont see anything its night !

me : ya there are big spotlight

him: oh yeah ? really ?

Nov 29 2008 4:54PM
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Am.Aaron
Posts: 443 - Karma: 22
Wearing my 4FRNT MSP's in the lift line,

Random guy to his buddy: FOUR FERRENT..? Four FRRRRNNT? For FRINT? Never heard of those before.
Buddy: Must be just a cheap knockoff.
Guy: Ahh.. look at his pants anyways (snickers)

My pants were white AlphaNumeric, but on my right leg there were a few paint streaks from falling off the damn rails in Fernie (the paint rubbed off on em =[ and a cut across the back of them that was ducttaped (not sure how that happened, prob my ski hit them)

My snowboarder friend was killing himself laughing next to me.
Nov 29 2008 5:14PM
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