Drinking is like a herd of buffalo. You see, when a pack of wolves hunts a herd of buffalo, they will always go for the weaker, older, sick, slower buffalo. So when the weaker ... buffalo are killed, it is jsut making the herd stronger, younger, healthier, faster, and as a whole, a better herd.
So when you drink, the alcohol will go after the slower, weaker, stupider brain cells first. Therefore making you faster, stronger, wittier, and more handsome.
So next time you have a hot date, big test, or something you need to be a better person for, just go to the local liquour store, and get drinking!
He who dares wins