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I am in extreme utterly unbearable testicular agony

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babujib
Posts: 5039 - Karma: 104
what is wrong with me, i went through football practice all day from like 8-3 then got these fucking wicked ball cramps, not only that but then i had to sprint with my balls wacking up against my thigh, i was on the verge of tears but no one could tell because i was sweaty, what is wrong with me and what do i do
Aug 17 2007 5:57PM
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ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,570
you have nut cancer.

but really i dont know, you might want to get that checked
Aug 17 2007 5:59PM
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CLO
Posts: 431 - Karma: 14
where spandec shorts under your normal shorts, thall keep em from flappen'
Aug 17 2007 5:59PM
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Shadows
Posts: 8068 - Karma: 42
get a cathetor shoved up your dick then tell me about genital pain.
Aug 17 2007 6:00PM
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TonyTheTiger
Posts: 863 - Karma: 68
Go to the hospital. I'm not kidding, ball problems are something not to mess with, when you go in the waiting room they make you go first because it would suck not beiing able to have babies eh...

Just wish you don't get this:

http://www.emedicine.com/emerg/topic573.htm
Aug 17 2007 6:03PM
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babujib
Posts: 5039 - Karma: 104
i want to respond to the last three but not be a post whore
1. i do wear spandex
2. if i didnt care about my sexual life i seriously would chop them off right now
3. trust me, this is worse
Aug 17 2007 6:03PM
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Shadows
Posts: 8068 - Karma: 42
no, it really isnt...in any way. unless you have open cuts and are bleading, its not. at all. and will never be.
Aug 17 2007 6:06PM
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babujib
Posts: 5039 - Karma: 104
i had to get a catheter put in for a surgery so dont tell me whats worse you havent experienced this pain mr tough guy
Aug 17 2007 6:10PM
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t-roy
Posts: 4041 - Karma: 52
on the other hand do you know what he is feeling?
Aug 17 2007 6:11PM
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Shadows
Posts: 8068 - Karma: 42
were you awake? and did they have to take it out and put it back in 3 times? and did they almost forget to deflate it when they took it out?
Aug 17 2007 6:12PM
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babujib
Posts: 5039 - Karma: 104
i was awake, they took it out and put it back in twice and they didn't ALMOST forget it but doesn't really make a difference why would you post negative things why aren't you just like oh that sucks hope you feel better seriously no ones impressed that you got a stick shoved up your dick so stop complaining about it
Aug 17 2007 6:16PM
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Shadows
Posts: 8068 - Karma: 42
i could say the same thing about how no one cares about your pain. just like you dont care about my pain...

go see a fuckin doctor, dont make a post
Aug 17 2007 6:18PM
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meggles
Posts: 3156 - Karma: 54
haha, that rhymed
Aug 17 2007 6:18PM
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babujib
Posts: 5039 - Karma: 104
cool your a tough guy
Aug 17 2007 6:18PM
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Shadows
Posts: 8068 - Karma: 42
Click for larger image
Aug 17 2007 6:20PM
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RudyGarmisch
Posts: 25443 - Karma: 13,844
So, for your balls:

Its most likely you've strained or pinched your inguinal canal by contracting your abdominals. Try icing right above your pubic bone, right under your boxers on either side. This should stop any swelling and loosen those muscles. Try that first.
Aug 17 2007 6:34PM
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marsland
Posts: 3150 - Karma: 421
icy hot + balls= your problem solved
Aug 17 2007 7:04PM
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ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,570
icy hot+lube=ouch
Aug 17 2007 7:06PM
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GnarBurger
Posts: 3215 - Karma: 43
blueballs

Aug 17 2007 7:18PM
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ThaLetterM.
Posts: 8609 - Karma: 1,612
thats weird..a kid on our team had the exact same pain/situation, turns out he had staph in his left testicle. go to the hospital.
Aug 17 2007 7:19PM
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dr_phil
Posts: 1698 - Karma: 95
Probably what he said...
But, go see a doctor. Especially if the pain goes worst.
It may be also be low back problems that make your balls hurt (I had some massive ball pain last year for a moment due to back problems).
Aug 17 2007 7:21PM
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.SteezusChrist.
Posts: 2296 - Karma: 276
ya dude, see a doctor soon, cuz your practices start soon. and i heard that k-flem gives a good ball inspection, so thats another alternative
Aug 17 2007 8:58PM
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canterbury
Posts: 2382 - Karma: 55
yea, you haven't realized that you're actually gay and seeing all of the football players in tight pants just gave you blue balls.

sorry, just joking man. i dunno though, if it doesn't go away after like a day you should definitely get that checked out by a doctor.
Aug 17 2007 9:24PM
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[~_~]
Posts: 20239 - Karma: 1,273
on a sidenote, what does it mean if you have a red rash on the curtain of your nutsack?
Aug 17 2007 9:27PM
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comeatmebro
Posts: 10720 - Karma: 66
that you are beating off too much, and your balls smacking your hand excessively all day has caused it. so quit beating off.
Aug 17 2007 9:31PM
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thenakedcellist
Posts: 2666 - Karma: 218
deffinitly see a doctor you dont wanna screw around with that
Aug 17 2007 9:33PM
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reggyboy
Posts: 1608 - Karma: 13
sounds like you twisted testicles... go to a docter dont wanna mess with your balls, they tend to be importent... btw no pun intended
Aug 17 2007 10:51PM
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SlickRick.
Posts: 4329 - Karma: 300
ahah that sucks,... means you wank it to much
Aug 17 2007 10:59PM
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derbski
Posts: 3173 - Karma: 62
i had something that sounded a lot like what your talking about once, I dealt with it for a while, but then I couldnt take it, and my dad is a urologist and Ive heard bad stories, so i told him and he set me up with an appointment with another urologist that works at the hospital. It was pretty awkward cause he and my dad work together and he was cupping my balls. turned out to be nothing serious, but you need to get that checked out because it could be testicular torsion, which means your nut twisted in your sac, and the cirulation is limited, and thats bad.
Aug 17 2007 11:03PM
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=FLO=
Posts: 1969 - Karma: 39
I knew this kid who woke up in the middle of the night and his nuts had gotten tied in a knot, no joke he went to the emergency room and they said "testicular torsion" is quite common, worst pain he ever had he said, that could be what you have. Oh and from then on we called him "pretzel nuts"
Aug 17 2007 11:31PM
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Alexander_Keith
Posts: 3204 - Karma: 25
Yeah man, word, I have a friend who had the EXACT same deal, woke up in the morning with excruciating nut pains, ran outside and shoved his nuts in the snow in a vain attempt to ease the sudden onslaught of pain and like woke up his parents howling in agony. His dad came bounding down the stairs asking what was up and hes just like "I think i have nut cancer!!" his dad sped him at like 150 to the hospital. He got surgery. Tunrs out it was twisted nut cords or something like that.
Aug 18 2007 1:31AM
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brokebutitsworthit
Posts: 2279 - Karma: 27
tortion of the testes hurts like fuck, go to a doctor they shine a light through your balls, its weird but better than losing the little jobbies
Aug 19 2007 1:33AM
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EastCoastPride
Posts: 11654 - Karma: 4,989
yo that is pretty much exactly what happened to me. right down to waking up my dad and telling him i had testicular cancer. i was scared shitless. worst pain i have ever felt. by far.
Aug 19 2007 2:10AM
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Bangor
Posts: 9599 - Karma: 129
Yeah it's called testicular torsion and it's basically when the cords that attach your nuts to your dick get twisted around the blood veins that attach to you balls, kinda like a tourniquet. Basically it can kill a testicle in I believe less than 24 if not even 12 hours, so GET TO A FUCKING HOSPITAL.
Aug 19 2007 2:29AM
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invaderskier36
Posts: 6192 - Karma: 41
happened to a friend of mine and he lost one.. no lie.. not funny.. get it checked bro
Aug 19 2007 2:47AM
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RudyGarmisch
Posts: 25443 - Karma: 13,844
It means you either nailed it somehow via an impact of some sort, or you either have a yeast infection or scabies. Scabies sucks, one of my housemates has it now and we're washing everything he's sat on in the last year. Motherfucker.
Aug 19 2007 3:38AM
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cobra_commander
Posts: 16909 - Karma: 4,682
or he has Jock itch, it's a fungus infection that is simmilar to athleats foot, just on your nutsck and croch reagion it hurts like a bitch at times. again sloths need doctors too.
Aug 19 2007 3:44AM
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tribefan226
Posts: 2122 - Karma: 209
dude i had that one day too. for me it like started out as a stomach cramp that moved down into my left nut. it went a way tho
Aug 19 2007 3:45AM
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Holte
Posts: 10730 - Karma: 7,744
someone needs to bump bishop's warning thread.
Aug 19 2007 4:28AM
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Lateralis
Posts: 1228 - Karma: 332
blow a load, youll feel better.
Aug 19 2007 12:57PM
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RudyGarmisch
Posts: 25443 - Karma: 13,844
He went to the doctor, he has scabies.
Aug 19 2007 1:04PM
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squeakywaffle
Posts: 1800 - Karma: 13
torsion?

go to the doctor
Aug 19 2007 2:50PM
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thefilmerguy
Posts: 2847 - Karma: 55
i was just gonna say that. are you nuts tangled up?
Aug 19 2007 3:24PM
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skogenjake
Posts: 6685 - Karma: 511
i have always had a few tubes tangeled up in a mass next to one of my balls. there like a 20 percent chance i cant have kids using my unit and shit may have to get extracted. as far as im concerned, 20 percent is enough that i dont have to wear a condom. it just feels so much better.
Aug 19 2007 5:56PM
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Bangor
Posts: 9599 - Karma: 129
Hope that child support feels as good too.
Aug 19 2007 6:03PM
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miker92
Posts: 621 - Karma: 36
it could be a really bad hurnia (sp?) but i really dont know what im talking about


the going to the doctor suggestion sounds like the way to go... a little embarrassment is worth saving your balls.
Aug 19 2007 6:05PM
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Bangor
Posts: 9599 - Karma: 129
I can almost guarantee that by this point, judging by his lack of response posts in the last day or so that he's probably already in the hospital.
Aug 19 2007 6:13PM
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skogenjake
Posts: 6685 - Karma: 511
umm coat hangers???
Aug 19 2007 8:13PM
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StevenSegal
Posts: 1716 - Karma: 16
wear compact/spandex shorts under your normal ones
Aug 19 2007 8:16PM
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Capurnicus
Posts: 9947 - Karma: 1,886
uh oh
Aug 19 2007 8:19PM
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hippie_cat
Posts: 1569 - Karma: 13
um pink name ????????????
Aug 19 2007 8:26PM
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