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C-DAWGSTYLEZ
Posts: 832 - Karma: 171
heres mine

Three couples went to a restaurant. The women wanted to compliment the men with something that was on the table.
"Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?" said the first gal.
"Could you pass me the honey, honey?" said the second.
"Could you pass me the bacon, pig?" said the third.

May 10 2006 9:46PM
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Mmessmer
Posts: 872 - Karma: 43
what did one wall say to the other wall??

I'll meet u at the corner!!
HAHAHAHAHA
May 12 2006 10:06AM
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iskilibertys
Posts: 996 - Karma: 23
why was hellen kellers dog always depressed?







you would be too if your name was dufgeigithsjmqahje

how do you keep hellen keller from telling a secret?





break her fingers
May 12 2006 12:38PM
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TheQuailman
Posts: 7381 - Karma: 144
Why is there no mexican olympic team?

cuz all the mexicans that can run, swim, and jump are in America
May 12 2006 1:23PM
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RastaSkier9
Posts: 1563 - Karma: 15
Whats the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person

The bucket
May 12 2006 1:33PM
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spen-cer
Posts: 1694 - Karma: 652
y did george bush cross the road





cuz his penis was stuck in the chicken AHHAHA
May 12 2006 2:46PM
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tBatt
Posts: 9632 - Karma: 580
hahaha there was a foodfight at my highschool and my brother's friend threw the cheese for his pretzle and hit some chick in the eye. then screaed "thats nacho cheese
May 12 2006 3:10PM
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shagalabagala
Posts: 2101 - Karma: 10
i always wanted to be in a food fight
maybe someday
May 12 2006 3:44PM
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shagalabagala
Posts: 2101 - Karma: 10
oh, and for a joke:

knock knock
who's there?

boo
boo who?

it's only a joke- no need to cry!
he he
May 12 2006 3:46PM
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JAYTRON
Posts: 2373 - Karma: 16
i made this one up for when my mom was cuddling on the couch with my dog:
knock knock
whos there?
Dead
Dead who?
Dead dog
i hate you jay that was soo mean
May 12 2006 3:55PM
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steezy_1_piece
Posts: 343 - Karma: 10
Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with bubble tape, he claims that their slogan "6 feet of fun" is actually the slogan for his penis.
May 12 2006 3:59PM
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scientist
Posts: 6920 - Karma: 347
Why did the girl fall of her bike?

she got hit in the face with a shovel.
May 12 2006 4:04PM
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TheQuailman
Posts: 7381 - Karma: 144
^ haha i love those jokes

but the best are about malesting kids like...


whats black and blue and doesn't like having sex?

the 3-yr. old in my trunk!
May 12 2006 4:07PM
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t-rent
Posts: 3038 - Karma: 63
wanna hear a joke

























womens rights
May 12 2006 4:14PM
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D_Mezz
Posts: 1382 - Karma: 16
i got 2!!!!! prepare to laugh!

---what did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
-DAM!!!!

---what did one wall say to the other wall?
-ILL MEET YOU AT THE CORNER!!!!

bahahahhahahahahahhaa
May 12 2006 4:19PM
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GFELLER.
Posts: 640 - Karma: 13
Whats the difference between menstral fluid and sand?

You can't gargle sand.
May 12 2006 4:23PM
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cgregg
Posts: 587 - Karma: 18
ha.its true that there is like 20+ forums about jokes
May 12 2006 4:38PM
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ARMADA-SKI-NZ
Posts: 307 - Karma: 10
Want to hear a joke...





Why did the baby stop crying?













It had a metal pole through its head.
mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahah
May 12 2006 4:53PM
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Tom.
Posts: 1954 - Karma: 12
HAHAHAHAHA
May 12 2006 4:57PM
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rsd
Posts: 1236 - Karma: 10
How do you make a woman blind?
-Put a windsheild in front of her

Why are womens feet so small?
-So they can stand closer to the sink

Why dont women wear watches?
-Cuz there is a clock on the stove

What do michael jackson and a grocery bag have in common?
-one is white, plastic, and harmful to children and the other holds your groceries
May 12 2006 7:13PM
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ARMADA-SKI-NZ
Posts: 307 - Karma: 10
whats worse than 14 babys in a jar?


















A baby in 14 jars!!!!!!!

mwahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahah
May 12 2006 7:16PM
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dowalibeast
Posts: 3339 - Karma: 207
helen keller went to town, riding on a pony. she stuck a feather in her hat and called it haklsjajadf.
May 14 2006 6:38AM
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Matty_C
Posts: 2598 - Karma: 236
why was the baby walking in a circle?
because his foot was nailed to the floor.

why couldn't the baby get through the door?
because it had a javelin through its neck.

the horse says to the dog:
"good lord i'm so tired- my owner made me run in 10 races this week. i don't know why i had to do so many, i've been really good recently."
the dog replies:
"fuck me, a talking horse!!"

what's seethrough, crumpled and lies in a gutter?
a nigger with the shit kicked out of him.

why do jews have long thin dicks?
because they are all tight-fisted wankers.

why do jewish women like circumcised men?
they like things with 10% off.
May 14 2006 12:24PM
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p-a
Posts: 1308 - Karma: 10
how many snowboarders does it take to screw in a light bulb, 3, one to screw it in and the other 2 to say that they could
May 14 2006 1:19PM
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ejoy
Posts: 524 - Karma: 43
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? .....












A stick.
May 14 2006 6:52PM
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reggyboy
Posts: 1608 - Karma: 13
these are pretty decent bump
May 15 2006 6:47AM
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Matty_C
Posts: 2598 - Karma: 236
rumpy pumpy bumpy
May 15 2006 3:35PM
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Scratch*my*Back
Posts: 8334 - Karma: 160
i was at a news stand flipping through one of their magazines and the employee said "this is not a library kid."
so i said "OK I'LL TALK LOUDER."
May 15 2006 3:38PM
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sn0wbl0w
Posts: 1104 - Karma: 10
A blonde walks into an appliance store and says I would like to buy that T.V. please. The store clerk replies Im sorry, we dont do business with blondes. So she stormed off back to her house and dyed her hair black. The next day, she went back to the same store and said I would like to buy that T.V. please. The store clerk, once again, replies Sorry, we dont do business with blondes. The blonde replied How did you know I was blonde? The clerk says Because thats a microwave, not a T.V.


There are 3 people standing in front of a magic mirror. The mirror gives you anything you desire if you tell it the truth, but you disappear if you lie. The first person to talk to the mirror was a very fat brunette. She walked up to the mirror and said "I think I am the thinnest person in the world." and poof, the mirror gobbled her up. The next person to come up to the mirror was a very ugly red head. She told the mirror "I think I am the prettiest person in the world" and poof, the mirror gobbled her up. Lastly came the blonde. She walked up to the mirror and said "I think..." and poof, the mirror gobbled her up.
May 15 2006 3:40PM
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Desjardins
Posts: 1772 - Karma: 11
ewww
May 15 2006 3:49PM
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BK
Posts: 2353 - Karma: 1,122
What do you call 8 black people in a barn?


Antique farming equipment.
May 15 2006 3:57PM
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sn0wbl0w
Posts: 1104 - Karma: 10
lmao!
May 15 2006 5:00PM
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Alpine3
Posts: 1811 - Karma: 24
hahaha yes!!!
May 15 2006 5:06PM
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Alpine3
Posts: 1811 - Karma: 24
how did Hellen Kellers Parents punisher her?

they put a plunger in the toilet or they rearranged the furnature.
May 15 2006 5:07PM
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kirbe
Posts: 168 - Karma: 67
vagina










ha ha
May 15 2006 5:59PM
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dowalibeast
Posts: 3339 - Karma: 207
yes
May 15 2006 10:16PM
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7X
Posts: 2999 - Karma: 365
i wish i was funny
May 15 2006 10:20PM
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reggyboy
Posts: 1608 - Karma: 13
how was the grand canyon created?

someone told three jews they buried a doller
May 15 2006 11:53PM
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scientist
Posts: 6920 - Karma: 347
by far the best quote/joke i have ever heard. seriously
May 15 2006 11:59PM
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nickmcnutt
Posts: 4396 - Karma: 2,965
a jewish guy and a checkslovakian go to the zoo. they stop at the lion area. they see 2 lions, one male and 1 female. the jewish guy says "i dare you to jump down there". so the check guy hops down, and gets eaten by a lion.
an hour later, the police are asking the jewish guy what happened. "well, i dared him to hop down there, and he did. one of the lions ate him", he says. the policeman asks which one of the lions ate him, and he relpies "the male".
so they cut open the male lion, and find nothing. they decide to cut open the female lion, and sure enough, theres the checkslovakian.

the moral of the story? never trust a jew who says the check is in the male.
May 16 2006 12:03AM
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Casey
Posts: 7785 - Karma: 23,466
how do you know when an asain has moved into your neighborhood?



all the mexicans buy car insurance
May 16 2006 12:57AM
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NFproductions
Posts: 1093 - Karma: 12
what do you call 3 black people in between 2 pieces of white bread?

burnt grilled cheese.
May 18 2006 2:33PM
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sopher
Posts: 760 - Karma: 15
Ok there are a brother and sister opening presents on Christmas morning...the brother gets one REALLY AWESOME gift, but the sister gets like a mountin of REALLY AWESOME gifts, and she's kinda bragging to the brother and making him feel bad, saying 'i got more presents than you!!!' so the brother looks at her and says 'oh ya well at least I don't have leukemia!!!!'
May 21 2006 12:46PM
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steezerampage
Posts: 2171 - Karma: 214
thats how black top was invented
May 21 2006 12:54PM
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Scratch*my*Back
Posts: 8334 - Karma: 160
LOL omg sophie.
May 21 2006 3:28PM
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PLJaCks
Posts: 566 - Karma: 10
Why does Michael Jackson like 27 year olds...
Cuz there are 20 of them.


What has 100 teeth and guards the incredible hulk...
My zipper


A bartender sees a guy come into his bar and walk over to a table full of people. The guy talks to the people at the table, the people start laughing, and he shakes one of the guys hands. Then the guy walks over to the bartender and says 'I'll bet you 50 bucks I can piss into this shot glass from across the bar'. The bartender says, 'No way man, you're on', and they shake hands. The man then pisses all over the bar not getting one drop in the shot glass. The bartender says, 'Haha, you owe me 50 bucks'. The man replys with, 'That's OK, I just bet that table over there 500 bucks I could piss all over your bar and you wouldn't get mad'.
May 21 2006 5:01PM
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cobra_commander
Posts: 16909 - Karma: 4,682
why did the blond's belly button hurt?



Her boyfriend was'nt verry smart eather.



A woman walks into a drug store and goes up to the man behind the counter and asks him if they sell extra larg condom, he says yes and asks her if she would like to buy some,

"No, but can i wait around here untill some one does."
May 21 2006 5:29PM
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iskilibertys
Posts: 996 - Karma: 23
haha, thats great


why did the girl drop her lollipop?







she got hit by a TRUCK!
May 21 2006 5:30PM
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ski8990
Posts: 5961 - Karma: 19
Theres this guy playing for a hockey team. He is really good, but he is awkward cause his lips are virtical (like a vag.) Its cool though, cause the captain of the team has a wood eye. As the season goes on, the captain says, "would you like to be the co-captain of the team?" He is flattered and says "Wood eye?" to which the offended captain responds, "Shut up cunt face!"

Oh, and burt asked ernie if he wanted any ice cream. what did ernie say?

sure burt
May 21 2006 5:40PM
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ag.
Posts: 694 - Karma: 18
So every day this guy always walks into the pharmacy and buys a box of condoms then walks out laughing really hard, and he does it day after day. So the pharmasist that works there is getting really curious to where he is going with the box of condoms everyday sonce he is always laughing wen he walks out. So the pharmasist tells one of his employees to follow him one day after he walks so he can finally figure out where he was going and what he was doing. After the employee comes back from following the guy, he comes in and then the pharmasist asks where the guy went....and the employee is like, "oh he went in to ur house."
May 21 2006 7:35PM
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cjb1776
Posts: 599 - Karma: 10
magic johnson
May 22 2006 9:29PM
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