fuck, how do I respond to this?
Originally Posted by Redactionist
"I'm sorry, but I don't have anyfoot footholds on my head. Stop trying to cover up the fact that you confused yourself there, you fucking limey."
Idiot. This isn't about rock-climbing. I didn't show up at a fucking rock-climbing forum and start spouting misinformation about rock-climbing. You came onto our forum and started spouting off multiple pieces of bullshit at effort to alleviate whatever hostility you happen to feel for whatever reasons you happen to feel it.
If I want to know about rock-climbing I will find out about rock-climbing. Fact of the matter is that my self-esteem is hardly based in any familiarity, or lack there of, having to fucking do with fucking rock-climbing.
re·dac·tion Audio pronunciation of "redaction" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (r-dkshn)
n.
1. The act or process of editing or revising a piece of writing; preparation for publication.
2. An edited work; a new edition or revision.
CITE: Dictionary.com
Redactionist, you fucking predictable rube!
Clearly the following train of thought progressed through your mind, as follows:
You are offended by my emasculating hyperbole featuring you asking a pharmacy employee for a box of tampons, hence you post:
Originally Posted by Redactionist
"Well, if I were buying Tampax for my girlfriend, (I make her buy them her fucking self by the way), and the clerk mistook the order for thumbtacks, it would be extrodinarily difficult the shove a thumbtack up my dick (strange visual you have presented here). Yes, I have a dick. Apparently you have only encounter dicks from behind, because if you had one of your own, you would know this."
Of course, with a little training and acclamation one ought to be able to shove a tampon up their penis. This is not something I would advise save to point out that shoving a thumbtack up your urethra is substantially easier than shoving a tampon into it. I understand that removing the thumbtack ought to be substantially easier, as well, while the tampon removal from one's urethra ought to be substantially more painful. I suspect that a tampon shoved up into the male urethra might become lodged there subsequent to the removal of the applicator. The thumbtack removal ought to provide a bit of relieve while the tampon removal ought to require stitches to sew the incision required to remove it with a subsequent catheter placed to avoid infection until the tissue damage that occurred, resultant from the tampon extraction procedure, can be healed. In cases of deep insertions a Narcan block may be advised but an insertion localized near the tip of the penis may be anesthetized with Lydocaine prior to removal.
One might expect this to be something of an emasculating experience as it roughly borders on similar procedures for sexual reassignment. Perhaps there is a nagging, persistent question in your subconscious wondering if you should engage in this endeavor in order to explore such prospects that is summarily blocked from the conscious mind out of need for your self's protection, but I am more likely to believe that a box of tampons in your hands is so symbolic of the dreaded question, of whether or not you should have been born as a woman rather than a man, that the misplaced fear it conjures is no less painful than the erstwhile tampon removal procedure, itself.
Sensing burgeoning hostility on the issue of whether or not you are likely to purchase tampons for your girlfriend so that you can feel all feminine and lovely like a fucking little girl inside, you reply with:
Originally Posted by Redactionist
"And no, I don't buy tampons for my girlfriend, she's perfectly capable of getting those herself. If all I could get were mentally incompetent, and/or physically disabled women, like yourself, I would certainly buy them for her, since she can't. I'm sure if you ever ended up with a half normal woman anyway, she'd have you whipped on the first date, and you'd be doing all the grocery shopping while she stayed home, fucking a real man while you were gone."
Suddenly, infused with all of the noble leanings of a properly educated women's libber you back peddle from the erstwhile claim of making your girlfriend purchase tampons for herself. Now your bonbon is the empowered woman, no longer confined to dropping her menses in a pit she is confined to for three days out of every month. She is "allowed", even "encouraged" to embrace her freedom to purchase tampons as she sees fit. What a lovely world we live in. All is fucking well when women are allowed to purchase tampons for themselves and without the interference of whatever betroathed they find themselves attached you. You really are a fucking lovely chappie, aren't you?
Finally, we are left with the conclusion of this failing chain of logic.
Originally Posted by Redactionist
"And the reason that I pointed out that I make my girlfriend by tampons herself (In reality she has never even asked me to buy her tampons) is merely because you mentioned something about me going to buy tampons, and mistakenly using thumbtacks instead. While if your agruments held any sort of logic in their construction, you would see that it was perfectly valid for me to discredit your little story by pointing out that my girlfriend buys her own tampons, and I myself have a dick, so am not in need of one."
However, I mentioned something about you going to purchase tampons for yourself which you interpreted as an attack on your manhood. No, no, just because the little buggers can be used to plug up a gunshot wound, which happens to be handy if you live in my home country of Texas, does not mean that you will find yourself within thirty feet of one, unless it happens to be in your girlfriend's cunt.
God forbid that your feminine strivings should be revealed openly on such a public forum. Why not go and over-compensate for these feelings you were unaware of, until your dick was hitting the keyboard tray reading one of my posts, by distancing yourself from the purchase of feminine hygiene products and symbolically, in so doing, your very own feminine strivings normally kept at bay with a rigorous exercise of homeovestic pretense. You must have thought that the "douche" reference was already over-the-top and surely revealing of the enema practices you engage in once every two full moons when you have your lovely squeeze a bag of warm water into the small hole between your butt-cheeks, as you scream at the top of your lungs, "It's too hot! It's too fucking hot! I can't hold it! It's going to fucking BLOW!" and FAPOOEY!!! You hose your girlfriend down with a load of pressurized fecal matter much in the same way you've taken the massive fucking dump on her that you are now redacting for, tonight.
Originally Posted by Redactionist
"Youre just as fucking stupid as everyone else on this website. I bet you even use a fucking thesaurus when you write your responses. And if you're proud of your vocabulary or something, remember...memorization is the lowest form of learning, and you just hit rock bottom. Spend a little less time trying to fit all those uber cool words you learned last week into your posts, and try and make them actually hold valid points and content."
Whatsamatter, Gumption?
Afraid of a little vocabulary?
Of course you have to go and insult things that come naturally to me. Why the fuck should I not type big words when I think in big words that revolve around large concepts that you couldn't possibly hope to fucking comprehend at your constant station of Gimpdom. Memory may well be the lowest form of learning but at least I'm able to integrate memories into meaningful thoughts that procure the meaning of larger concepts accurately. I submit your offering on memory to be a larger part of some confabulation you've fostered in order to bolster your fragile little ego. I could be wrong on this issue but then I don't really give a flying fuck since memory is about as much concern to me as is rock-climbing.
I can only assure you that no thesaurus was opened for the composition of this post. I did, however, use a dictionary.
Originally Posted by Redactionist
"What exactly is your goal in life? If this persona you've presented in the last few posts is really the image you wish people would see you as. You're nothing more than an obnoxious narcissistic pansy-ass whore."
Obnoxious, narcissistic, pansy-assed, whore?
Really? I'm not the one who just got caught with his pants pulled down around his ankles back-pedaling from his massive over-compensation syndrome. What is my goal in life? Who gives a fuck save for the candy-assed provocateur having his ass handed to him on a fucking silver platter?
Aw lookey evewywon! I'm jus' a small wee wittle lad who came to a flaming forum and I was minding my own business mindlessly tossing insults about when this big mean bully whose only goal was to pounce on an obviously helpless gimp, like myself, came up and started kicking the verbal shit out of me. Help me!! I've been accosted by Wonk!
Take heart, little fella, and tell yourself that I'm just trying to over-compensate for perceived short-comings and that it's all not really true. Tell all of your friends that ol' Wank is just a very mean man with a small, small prick whose ideas are so small-minded that he has to work over idiots, like yourself, on an internet forum. Tell yourself I'm a bully and a coward. Tell yourself that it's my goal in life to sit in front of a computer screen and verbally dissect you because I've got no social-life and no dating prospects. Get your friends together and step up to me. Teach me that bullying is unacceptable, whether it's on the internet or in real-life. I could give a flying fuck what you tell yourself. Your theories about my motivations are also completely fucking pointless!
You're the one who showed up, here and proceeded to act like an utter imbecile, thinking that because he was a sexist, rock-climbing, whatever the fuck nationality you are, jack-ass that he had enough clout to contrive insult without commensurate reciprocity being insured ten times over.
Originally Posted by Redactionist
"Bring it on you dirty little butt fucker. Get your fist out of your boyfriends ass and your mouth off Jimmy Carr's dick. Don't get too excited because if you were ever to end up in the hospital they probably wouldn't know where to stick the catheter. Pimply ass shemale slut. You'll never amount to shit in life because youll be too busy wondering why you have so many female friends and none of them would ever fuck you. It's because they think you're gay. And theres nothing bad about being homosexual, but when you're straight and you can't convince your own mother youre not in the closet, you've got a problem."
I brought it and dropped it off, Powder Puff!
Take your fetishistic inclinations for Mr. Carr and your insecurity about your relationship with women and put it in a fucking book. Sell it. I might buy it. I probably won't. You haven't the depth it takes to write a decent case-study and have engaged in pat-phrase regurgitation to hurl insults at a complete stranger whom you've met on the internet and who has found you wanting in several regards.
Originally Posted by Redactionist
"Go get laid, you fucking pussy."
Go climb a fucking rock, dipshit!
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