My Uncle

yo guys ive got something that ive gotta get out, and if you dont want to hear about my life please dont read it and continue on with your own life.

alright well while me, my mom, my sister, and my buddy were up in tremblant skiing last week, thursday night i got a call from my dad asking to speak to my mom, he told her some news of her brother, i wasnt told what happened but i figured it was something horrible due to the fact that she was crying, and calling her other sisters and aunts.

once i got home late friday i did a google search on his name and my heart dropped. my uncle was shot twice from a 12 gauge shot gun and later bled to death. My uncle was looking for a job around his town when he was shot by a police officer outside of the local high school. He was carrying a unloaded pellet gun, the reason for this was becuase he had metal problems, not being mentaly retarded but being lost in his own mind due to years of drug and alcohol abuse. He feared for his life every day, he feared the deamons that were in his mind. The pellet gun he felt gave him protection from them. He never ment to hurt anyone, and he never did.

My mother was very upset and did not want to talk about it. I belive that she blames herself for him giving up on himself. My mom always used to listen to him but it killed her to hear him in his state she was very emotional about him. He would call at 3:00 in the morning and she would get angry at him for drinking, and get very sad to hear him like that. i did not like him talking to her becuase when ever she did, she'd become sad, but i didnt relize that she was all he had.

On the day he was shot they tried to identifiy him but only found a ID and my moms phone number. they tracked the number to our home and state police, local police, and reporters were outside our house for days but no one knew where we were. they eventully tracked cell phone records and got my dads number and thats how my mom was notified.

untill today i had jsut been feeling down relizing that my uncle was killed and with my mom being so upset things have just been grim in my house. today my mom and dad traveled to him apartment to recover his valuables.

I had not seen him in years and had only talked to him on the phone a few times, but my mom found things that he wrote saying that he could not wait till he could see us (me and my sister) again. he had pictures of us, baby photos, every thing that my mom had ever sent him. he also wrote about how he loved my mom and how she was all he had. with my mom talking to his neibors they said he was saying how he was giving up and my mom was all he had left.

it absolutly killed me. I had no idea how much i could mean to this guy and how i could of helped him. My moms real grim because she blames her self for not bieng there for him. i feel terrible and i have no idea how he lived the way he did he was at absoulte rock bottom still tryign to make it work for himself the only way he knew how. I can only imagine how he made it through a day, i can only now relize how well i have it and what ever road block i come to cant even compare to what hes been through.

well thats my story thanks for listening those of you who will i just really needed to get that out. thanks

RIP Uncle Joe