After a season that was cut massively short by irresponsible ski resorts, the people have launched a suit against skiing. "Skiing was supposed to be there when I needed it, and it wasn't, fuck that I'm suing." - Bob when asked about the suit.
After losing a week to a month of a time of year that nobody shreds, the people are mad. Jason who is usually polishing his golf clubs thing time of year said he was extremely angry that he missed a month of skiing he always skipped anyway. "The point isn't that I didn't ski, it's that they told me I couldn't ski, and that just isn't right. Last I checked this was America, the land of freedom and spring instagram selfies. How the fuck else will people know I'm getting sendy if I can't hashtag every derivative of corona virus with a dope self shot video making casual turns down green runs to Sail".
The people are bored, they might not even want to ski, but who the hell is going to tell them they can't? Sure Bob was busy getting his boat ready for summer when he filed suit, but maybe he would have gone skiing if only was allowed to. When asked for a comment it seemed that Bob's brother Jim was also less than enthusiastic about the current situation. "Wut?!?!?!? You can't tell me I can't fly from Florida to ski that! You don't friggin own it! This is 'Murica! I haven't even skied in 3 years but I'll be damned if some douchebag liberal mountain town folk are gonna stop me from exercising my rights as a god damn American!"
Several other skiers are angry that this shut down kept them from learning new tricks progressing, and getting sendy, Vail and Ikon mountains are the biggest contenders in the lawsuit.
If you're feeling the burn, you're salty, angry at the world, you're not alone. Plenty of skier dads are shaking their fist at the sky with you. Sure the skiing crisis lacks only slightly above "get the fuck off my lawn" but it's still important.
We've also established a hotline for agro skiers who feel the world has wronged them. Call toll free at 1-800-QUITCHER-BITCHIN. You can vent, speak with a therapist, and state your case of how the world has wronged you and what you are owed.
We the people stand in solidarity with the angry, the entitled. We support you blowing up small mountains with angry comments, launching lawsuits like this for a few days you probably would have never skied anyway.
This is what America is all about. The constitution talked about skiing being an unalienable right, and the consitution friggin matters.