It’s that time of year again…
Summer camp season is here! Windells got under way last week while Momentum’s adult session began on Saturday and will kick off its full slate a week from today. Camp of Champions and Dave Murray get going a few days later, and once things are good and rolling next week, the NS dream team will descend on Whistler, and will be working around the clock all summer long to give you the absolute best coverage available anywhere online of the goings on of the glacier.
Jeff ‘what time zone am I in again?’ Schmuck will be leading the team, doing interviews with your favorite pros and reporting on what’s going down at the camps for everyone out there who was too silly to sign up and is going to sit on NS all summer and dream of skiing.
Jason ‘Moose’ Mousseau and NS’ lovely summertime assistant Jeff ‘Amy’ Amantea will park themselves (no pun intended) at COC and will be hooking you up with daily updates from the biggest summer camp on the planet.
The three of us will be living large at the COC dorm, and our pad will double as the official NS Whistler office, which you can stop by and chill at anytime if you're signed up for COC, as the dorm will be exclusive to COC campers.
Sounds like a good time eh? So if you’re sitting there reading this right now and thinking, ‘Shit, why I am not going to summer camp this year?”…What the hell are you waiting for? Windells, COC, Momentum and Dave Murray all still have spots available, and as anyone who’s spent a summer up there knows, it’s the time of your life. You get to shred the gnar all day, learn new tricks, hang out with old and new found friends, meet and ski with your favorite pros as they teach you to do what they do best, eat as many hot dogs as you can stomach, before heading down the mountain (and catching a sweet google tan on the way) to the beautiful and picturesque village of Whistler, where a host of off-hill activities await. Mountain biking, paintball, golf or just some good ol’ fashioned quality time with your friend X-Box, followed up by badass dinners at the multitude of amazing restaurants around town. And last but certainly not least, if you’re of age…partying. Serious partying.
For those of you who haven’t signed up, we know what you’re thinking…it isn’t cheap to go to summer camp. Ask around the site though and virtually every single member whose been will tell you that it’s worth every penny, but if you still can’t convince the folks to kick down or you spent all your dough on a new set of sticks, don’t fret…NS is here to save the day.
Thus, in coordination with Camp of Champions, we proudly present you the ‘Be the NS Bitch’ contest. There are four seperate chances to win (one for each session of COC) with four separate winners, and if you happen to be one of those lucky four, check this out…you get to come and live at the NS pad in Whistler with us for a week, for free, and you can ski Camp of Champions’ lane all week long, for free, where you’ll be treated to breakfast and lunch every day, for free. Not too shabby eh? The only thing you have to do is get yourself to Whistler, as Schmuck sucked the travel budget dry this past winter.
The one and only downside to this ridiculously sweet offer is that in exchange, you have to be Schmuck, Mousseau and Amantea’s bitch for the week. I mean, this is roughly a $2000 offer, so it’s only fair right? You’ll have to go get us pizza, carry our skis, do the dishes, keep the place clean and if you bring a girl home, we get first dibs. But don’t worry, we’re actually all ridiculously laid-back, nice guys, so more than anything, you’ll just be chilling with us for a week of summetime fun and getting to ski your brains out for free.
As was mentioned, there’s going to be four separate contests, one for each session of COC, and Schmuck, Mousseau and Amantea will be judging them very selectively, as we have to live with you for a week. Here’s the dates, details and what you have to do to win...
June 21st – June 28th ‘The Centerfold”
An absolutely ridiculous photo of you, repping NS as hard as humanly possible. Think about it, this offer is worth about 2 G’s, so you have to make it good. A shot of you holding your skis with some NS stickers on it or wearing an NS shirt isn’t going to cut it. Get creative, get wild, get stupid and get er done. Email your entries to email@example.com. Any photos posted in the forums will be disregarded. This contest begins today and the deadline is Sunday, June 15th, with the winner being announced the following day.
June 28th – July 5th ‘The Golden Ticket’
Beginning today, there will be an item available in the NS store called ‘The COC Golden Ticket.’ The COC Golden Ticket will be an obnoxiously big, blinged-out gold NS sticker. To enter, go to the store and pay $10 for your chance to win it. Each buyer’s name will be entered into a random draw and the winner will be selected on Friday, June 20th and notified the following day, and will be presented with The COC Golden Ticket upon arrival in Whistler.
Unfortunately, we had to melt down all of our bling and Doug’s girlfriend’s jewelry (and boy is she pissed!) to make this sticker, so there is only one available. However the rest of the entries will receive a limited edition NS n00b sticker.
...and anyone who doesn't think John Symms is the man is automatically disqualified.
July 5th – July 12th ‘The Pulitzer’
In 500 words or less (for the love of God), explain why we should pick you to live with us for a week, ski COC for free and be the NS Bitch. Make it heartfelt, emotional, funny, demanding, or whatever you damn well please, but make it good, and spelling-mistake free. And if it’s one word over 500, you’ll be disqualified faster than the bullet train from Tokyo to Osaka. This contest begins today and the deadline is Sunday, June 22nd, and the winner will be drunkenly announced by Schmuck on Wednesday, June 25th (since it’s his birthday). Again, email all your entries to firstname.lastname@example.org (entries in the forums will be disregarded).
July 12th – July 19th 'The Cut of Champions'
This is the big one, as it’s for the last week of the glacier and shit will be going down. So with that in mind, No one likes a bad haircut...except us. So head down to your local Supercuts or the shitty salon where no one speaks English and get yourself a bad haircut. Mullets, bowl cuts, cul-de-sacs, the fade, speed lines and all other sorts of doozies are recommended and will be strongly considered. The catch is, you're not allowed to already have a bad haircut. You need to take two photos of yourself, one before the massacre, and one after. The contest begins today and ends on Thursday, July 3rd with the winner being announced the following day. Email your shots to email@example.com (again, all entries in the forums will be disregarded), and if you show up in Whistler without the bad haircut rest assured the NS dream team will make you do extra bitch work as punishment for not showing that bad boy off to everyone who had to pay to come to camp.
A couple of notes about these contests. First, and most importantly...don’t enter if you can’t get yourself to Whistler! We don’t want to pick a winner and then have them bail at the last second therefore robbing someone else of this amazing opportunity. All contests begin today but end at seperate times to give adequate time for the entries and for us to choose the winners, and we've allowed for at least a week at the end of each contest for the winners to make travel arrangements. Second, we strongly advise only entering the contest(s) for whichever session you can make, as we realize many of you have other commitments throughout the summer whether it be work, school, or your grandma’s birthday. Third, please be aware that these contests are open to both males and females, but you must be over the age of 16. Sorry kids, but we don't want to be babysitters.
So without further ado, get your fat ass off your computer chair, go into the kitchen and get down on your knees in front of your folks as they make dinner and starting begging them to sign you up, or enter the ‘Be the NS Bitch’ contest…NOW!
And also, be sure to take advantage of the 50% off sale in the store beginning today and ending Wednesday at midnight, as following that the online store will be closed until July 14th while we’re stationed in Whistler, where you can get your hands on all the fresh new goodies there and only there.
Lastly, keep yourself glued to the site next week as once we’ve arrived in Whistler we’ll be dropping a full summer camp preview with words of wisdom from the camp directors and coaches, along with what’s new and exciting this year in Whistler.
Stay tuned, it’s going to be one hell of a summer…