A mountain in Pennsylvania is facing a rather common set of circumstances this year, lack of budget. After hearing about the predicament facing this mountain we had to learn more. Naturally we spoke with the general manager to get his take on the budget. He said in an official press release that “We hope to increase our park scene this year by upping the budget to 50 dollars.”. When we asked him what the reason for the low budget was, he responded by saying “ You're telling me 50 hard earned dollars is low?!”. Our conversation ended very abruptly as he sped away in his 50 thousand dollar car.
Leaving on that sour note, we talked with the park crew, to get their take on this year's budget. The park crew surprisingly was very happy and optimistic. Being hired as rookies this year, they had no idea what was in store for them. They did inform us that they had already spent their entire budget to replace a rake, and buy a supply of jb weld. The jb weld of course is to put the rake together when it breaks. These two items are vital for a low budget park, according to two stoned guys on a skiing website.
After hearing this we had to know their plan on creating functional park features. This brought us to Terin Jones. Terin, one of their newest hires informed us of their plan. He said “Since funds were lower than expected we got some junkyard inspired features.”. When we asked how they paid for it, Terin said “The owner of the junkyard said everything was free if we could get past his dog, and we did”. This season be on the lookout for their incredible creations, and a tetanus shot.
They created a multitude of impressive features from their junk yard finds. Including but not limited to, the wheelbarrow jib, ironing board box and a jon boat box. For the seasoned park rats a crushed car and the mangled 10 foot rail with 8 kinks in three directions. Surly to be hit by at least one person this season. For the jump they had to improvise using a ping pong board and an old shed roof as structure to make up for the lack of snowmaking. This is one park crew that won't have to worry about people hitting their freshly raked features.
Locals have taken to newschoolers.com a ski website that just might come back to life, to express their opinions. Some members claim that it's a public health risk while others are complaining that their track pants are getting stuck on the 8 kink rail. But one thing they can all agree on is this park is sure to create the toughest generation of east coast park skiers yet.