Newschool skiing broke down the stale and competitively confined world of moguls and “conventional” freestyle. Skiers like The 3 Phils and JP Auclair were rebels fighting to ski their own way. Now, FIS has crept back into the picture, attempting to suck the life out of the movement these skiers started, siphoning what measly profits exists and trying to stay youthful. Rather than stay complicit in this vampirical suck, we have decided to make a change. Newschool is dead, New Wave is here to stay. Newschoolers is dead, NewWavers is the future, and the future is now. So pour one out for Wallisch, his name will be spoken no longer, Magnus is our new god, all hail the swerve.
We sat down with NewWavers General Manager Doug Bishop to get the inside scoop.
NewWavers: Tell us about the change, why now?
Mr. Bishop: Newschoolers comes from Newschool freestyle, which is what set our sport aside from classic freestyle when the founders cooked this shit up. The problem is that now that everything is so fucking Olympic and corporate… the newschool has become the oldschool. Everything that this sport stood for back in those days is now bullshit… and its time for the new innovators to get credit for what they are doing.
NW: Wabs said that no one who’s actually cool has called it New Wave since 2016, does this mean you’re admitting that you’re not cool. Why so late to the party?
MB: I haven’t pretended to be cool in the last two years. I’ve realized that Newschoolers’ position in the ski industry is to jump on the hot trend right at the moment that it is ready to go mainstream. That is what we did with the Newschool movement, and I’m hoping to re-create that for New Wave. Do you have any idea how much profit there is to be made when you’re the first “mainstream” media to start to pretend to be on the core shit?
NW: I mean Magnus is one thing, but even the Hood Crew ditched the gangster attitude and started jocking on The Bunch.
MB: The only thing they fucked up was cashing in on the profit incentive.
NW: Does this mean you’re going to drop the Virtika outerwear and pick up a tracksuit? What is your wife going to think of your new style?
MB: Are you fucking kidding me? Of course. My wife is going to love it, because she really wants an Escallade to rock that mom life in style. Can’t afford that shit when you’re slanging all this core shit every day. I’m fucking over it.
Time for daddy to get fucking paid!