Much to my dismay, not everyone’s a skier. Not everyone skips classes to spend the day at the hill, takes pride in weird looks cast at their goggle tans, and has The Bird on lock as their signature drunken dance move. It’s a hard reality to accept but it’s a harsh truth. While I’m convinced that anyone can ski if they pick up a pair, the skiing lifestyle is an entity all its own. During one of my last weekends at school, I did my best to get some non-skiers to be sorry for partying.
Every year, my school celebrates the end of classes with “Preparation Day,” more commonly known as P-Day. While this may seem like the perfect opportunity to crush all those papers before finals, it’s also the ideal day to remind your liver that just because the snow is gone, does not mean that the party’s over. I mean, come on… t minus 4 months until IF3!
It’s become a tradition to make t-shirts to commemorate P-Day. Donning quotes, numbers, and nicknames, the shirts typically raise a few eyebrows. Music lyrics are staples for the shirts, and much like my fellow undergrads, 5 girl friends and I formatted ours the same way. While the song we used became an under-ground hit, it started climbing the charts and now is popular internationally. It seemed like this quiet beat with the catchy lyrics might be a fad but as people everywhere
have been bopping their heads for weeks, no end seems to be in sight.
Did I mention I’m not talking about Asher Roth’s, “I Love College?”
It seems that the ski lifestyle, though only truly appreciated by those of us with two planks, can still be experienced and enjoyed by those who rather spend a day at the beach. Since getting to know Colleen and I, our friends have come to understand the concepts of steeze, afterbang, and getting hyphy. They request Clown School edits to substitute for Friday night party music and do double takes on any flippy-haired boy with a Line backpack or Jiberish hoodie. Although they may not count down the days to the release of new video blogs, they still catch on pretty quick.
Their newest appreciation?
The lyrical masterminds known as Colby West and John Symms.
After blaring this video every day since its release, the girls have caught onto its epicness and are officially fans. When it came time for us to make our P-Day t-shirts, I jokingly said, “Hey Meg, you know those ‘My Friend Is A Pro’ shirts? We
should make ‘My Friend Is A Hoe!’ shirts!” And then she paused.
At this point, I thought I had crossed the line. I overfilled Meg’s tolerance of ski culture and she was sure to be drowning in Cali P, soggy party foul shoes, and tall t’s. I had pushed her too hard. It was too much. She was going to go back to her J. Crew ways of popping her collar, speaking in a politically correct tongue, and lose appreciation for me being ignant.
“YESSSSSSS!” She said. Yes? She said YES? I couldn’t believe it. The next day we bought our shirts and got to work for Saturday’s events. By 10:00 on Saturday morning, I was already pulling on my new shirt and sipping on my first drink. Let the games begin.
Colleen and I, quarter to nine in the morning.
Little bit of pregaming on main campus with Coll’s old roomie, Catie.
Hopping down to main campus, we sipped mimosas and headed outside. People stopped and read our shirts and we bopped around, occasionally singing “My Friend’s a Hoe, My Friend’s a Hoe, My Friend’s a Hoooooooeeeeee” like we were West and Symms. That is, the duo x3, with ponytails and boobs.
My Friends, the hoes: Kayla, Alexsis, Meaghan, myself, and you know Colleen.
The field was dotted with inflatables, people, and food, but we immediately headed over to a little piece of home. Just as I had worked to get my friends to appreciate looking baller, Mattyb was out in full force doing the same. His pimped out EC-mobile supplied cold Red Bull to sun-burned co-eds on the 85+ degree day, but Matty didn’t just provide the liquid legitimacy, he sold some EC wear too. Eyes gleamed across the field, covered from the vicious rays with EC’s own shades. It was impossible to walk through a crowd without getting a glimpse of yourself in someone’s mirrored lenses.
Steezifying the masses.
The infamous shades du jour.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOO Red Bull.
I kind of wondered to myself if people understood what they were absorbing. I knew my girls were saturated sponges when it came to ski culture, but did the rest of my college truly get it? Doubtful.
Can we blame anyone who doesn’t ski, for their poor life choice? Although I would like to give a little cheek pat to the non-skiers, I can’t be mad at them. Skiing is what makes me happy. Everyone has their thing, but as long as people can respect mine, I’m cool.
Ian Compton, thinking, “Hey, maybe college isn’t so bad after all.”
By being on campus, Matt has successfully expanded his horizons. Sure, it’s nice to get a larger customer base, but over-all, he’s getting everyone from professors with doctorates to slurred-speech freshman to say, ‘”What’s EC?” In the same sort of effect, people wanted to know why I’d publically accuse my best friends of being hoes. And so begins the long story of explaining that it’s all part of the wonderful world of skiing.
Wear EC. Make Friends.
Friends, friends, friends.
As we hope to infect the masses of our trade, our passion, and our lifestyle, some of us realize it’s more than a sport. I will be the first to admit that sometimes I have to be hooked up to straight oxygen because Newschoolers and skiing have put me into a coma, but I’m not ashamed in the least. Even if I can’t surround myself with skiers on a daily basis, I might as well hang out with Meg and the crew who accept me, no matter what my post count is. Down the road when I’m at Meg’s wedding, I know I’ll be shoved into some preppy bridesmaid dress with a bow in my hair, but at least I know that when the reception comes, she will still make her white-girl bird fly, and wake up being sorry for partying.
And now, living up to my username:
M.B. got buuuuuuuuurned.
Christian’s pretending it’s winter.
E. Williams is a thug. Per usual.
And now for the epic races.
Race 1: Peter vs. Matt
I believe Matt reigned victorious.
Race 2: JKwon Media vs. Speedy Gonzcompton
I’ll let the images speak for themselves.
Thanks to my friends for being hoes, and Colby and Symms for being pros.
Be sure to snag some fresh gear for you and your friends, skiers and non-skiers alike over at http://www.echeadwear.com !
Until next time, surround yourself with flakes.