These past few months have been ridiculous. Skiing, skiing, skiing, and then...not skiing for a long time. Just when I thought I was on top of life, it spun me around and hung me upside down. More lessons, more learning, less school.
For the first time in my life, I truly don't give a shit about school. Unfortunately, this came when I had 3 semesters left in college. I am still passing for sure. Hell, I should get 2 A's this semester...but I just don't care.
Life, death, injury to friends, the one year anniversary of the worst injury of my life- and I thought I understood what it all was for. Then I lost the person who I was closest too, and I was left to try to find meaning yet again.
I may write this more formally sometime, but for now...some insights-
People don't die, they graduate.
Some don't make it, they will drop off to the side while the rest of us continue on.
Don't devote your life to fulfilling other people's bullshit standards. College (business school in particular) is mostly bullshit.
Don't fuck yourself over by being an idealist and pretending things don't matter when they really do.
It's really hard to lose the person you are closest with.
Loyalty is important above all.
I have one final left till I'm a senior in college. I just want to get out clean and graduate on time. I'm tired mentally and academically. I find it hard to work work work work work along with my classmates in order to compete for cubicle jobs. I'd rather die than live a life with a cubicle job. I have a cool job right now, but it doesn't really make me that happy.
On wednesday I am done for the semester and I'm going to go climbing. On thursday or friday I might solo a 14er. Life, love, peace, happiness...its all out there somewhere. Right now I'm just floating on a sea of powder above an enormous valley. I'll see some of you out there...