Shoveling out your car

It's best to start this the night before, or at the very least a half hour before you plan to be on the road. Otherwise you might walk out in the morning to find a little more than you bargained for.

Getting your friends up in the morning

It seems like no matter what time you agree upon for the next morning, it's always a struggle to rally the troops. Sometimes you need to be willing to cross some lines to get everyone in the car and ready to go. Don't be afraid. Even if they hate you for it, they'll forgive you when they get out on the slopes. No man left behind!

Be careful on the drive to the mountain

Sometimes you can cruise and make up some time, but other times it's better to take it a little bit slow. Making it to the mountain a few minutes late is always better than winding up in a ditch, especially on a powder day.


Parking can be a pain and sometimes even cost money. Have no fear! Disregard what any parking lot attendants or signs may try to tell you about lots being full or not having any free parking. This is a blatant lie. Regardless of what they tell you, there is ALWAYS free parking somewhere.

Sometimes you just need to be a little creative as shown here

Toss on your freshest attire

You want to make sure you impress the ladies right?

Forgot something important like gloves or a hat?

No worries! Thank God for the lost and found!

Show of your moves!

If you go down a run under a chairlift, make sure to throw down some serious moves. You wouldn't want anyone you'll likely never see again to think you're a pussy.


Are You poor?(Rhetorical question. Of course you're poor) PBJ Sandwiches can save your life. Or bring a hotplate and cook ramen, spaghetti, or anything else in the lodge.(Don't take any crap from employees who try to shut down your poverty feast) If confronted by resort staff about your meal time endeavors, try your best to look threatening. I usually roll with a nice mixture of "Rabid Animal" and "I'm high on PCP". Usually they'll leave you alone long enough for you to stuff your face, and get back out on the slopes.

The Terrain Park

The sun is out, and you're spinning some laps through the park. Once again, bring your A game, because a bunch of people you'll likely never see again are judging you. If someone yells "DO A BACKFLIP!!!!!!" While you're dropping into a jump and you don't deliver, well, WTF? Why do you even ski bro? And if it all goes to hell, tell yourself "It's the journey not the destination" as you wait for patrol to come and scrape what's left of you off the trail.

You survived. Now you deserve a beer!(If you're old enough, lol kids)

You've probably been drinking all day anyway, and maybe you're too drunk to make it up the stairs by this point, but pull yourself together and get in there for a beer and some post ski socializing. You earned it, you made it to the slopes, had fun, and didn't die. congratulations!

PS: If you're looking at this pile of BS wondering what the hell I'm rambling on about, it's summer, and it should be winter. But have no fear! In a couple months, the snow will fall, ski areas will begin to open up, and the universe will once more make sense.