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November, 2023

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Tackled by a bounty hunter at Mammoth

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signtime
Posts: 2244 - Karma: 20,216
So I was chatting with this nice lady in the parking lot and she told me this wild story about how she had just got out of prison.

Apparantly she had this miserable corporate office admin job for like 15 years and just snapped one day - robbed the bank she worked for and blew all 50k on snowboarding.

She didn't really snowboard much before that. She didn't really have any friends or much of a life either.

What happened is that after taking the cash, she needed a new look for being on the run.

So she went to the mall to buy clothes and went inside Zumiez and saw a snowboarding picture and decided right there that was the identity she was going to assume.

Dyed her hair, hightailed it to California, and bought "like 20" brand new snowboards/bindings at a base area ski shop on one transaction.

After 8 months on the run, she was tackled on the slope at Mammoth by a bounty hunter in like a Hollywood style ski chase.

While she was strapping in at the top, big ass dude came up to her and said her first and last name. She was all, "That's not me" and took off down a black diamond run.

She tried to lose him, but he just so happened to be a great skier. He chased her down moguls and through trees, over little natural jumps, and hauling down the groomed run. On her ass the whole time.

She got to the base and unstrapped and ran like 10 feet before he plowed her down on his skis and handcuffed her.

She was locked up for 3 years.

Things are actually going really well for her though. Nowadays she only has 8 snowboards, but she's in the best shape of her life and slams trophy cock on the regular. I guess the whole experience gave her a lot of sex appeal lol.

She started a thriving art business from skills she learned in her jail job, has a ton of cool friends, and does 3's off handrails at like 55 years old.

So a happy ending I guess?

Only like 7 more years of probation and she can leave the state boundaries to go back to Mammoth.
Mar 15 2021 7:34PM
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vibecheck
Posts: 3112 - Karma: 15,152
..congrats or.. thats terrible.
Mar 15 2021 7:46PM
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WoFlowz
Posts: 7460 - Karma: 62,194
Still not as good of the story as that one girl from PC that eheath banged in the back of his grey Subaru full of Cheeto dusk covered seats
Mar 15 2021 7:53PM
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ReturnToMonkey
Posts: 5676 - Karma: 61,134
WoFlowzStill not as good of the story as that one girl from PC that eheath banged in the back of his grey Subaru full of Cheeto dusk covered seats


What's this now?
Mar 15 2021 7:57PM
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KCoCM
Posts: 963 - Karma: 8,780
edit: pretty rad. hope she lives out her best life.

**This post was edited on Mar 15th 2021 at 7:58:12pm
Mar 15 2021 7:57PM
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asparagus
Posts: 2394 - Karma: 27,263
Snowboarding away from an evil ski bounty hunter is every snowboarder’s wet dream
Mar 15 2021 8:04PM
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signtime
Posts: 2244 - Karma: 20,216
vibecheck..congrats or.. thats terrible.


Idk man she's the happiest she's ever been in her life. She has like little grandkids and stuff she's teaching to snowboard.
Mar 15 2021 8:13PM
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signtime
Posts: 2244 - Karma: 20,216
THANOSDOGFARTSnowboarding away from an evil ski bounty hunter is every snowboarder’s wet dream


Right??

I kinda skipped over how the bounty hunter had her handcuffed to a post next to the lift line maze, and she screeched "laws only exist to protect the rich! Banks rob normal people every day!" for like an hour before the marshalls got there.

Like idk, I thought that was kinda core.

They flew her back in handcuffs in the last row of a regular domestic flight still wearing her ski pants and snowboard boots.
Mar 15 2021 8:20PM
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ASSholebomber22
Posts: 6594 - Karma: 69,635
larilinesignRight??

I kinda skipped over how the bounty hunter had her handcuffed to a post next to the lift line maze, and she screeched "laws only exist to protect the rich! Banks rob normal people every day!" for like an hour before the marshalls got there.

Like idk, I thought that was kinda core.

And then everyone in the liftline clapped
Mar 15 2021 8:23PM
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EPfanboy
Posts: 472 - Karma: 3,376
WoFlowzStill not as good of the story as that one girl from PC that eheath banged in the back of his grey Subaru full of Cheeto dusk covered seats


ReturnToMonkeyWhat's this now?

Please elaborate
Mar 15 2021 8:33PM
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SammyDubz
Posts: 2168 - Karma: 7,215
Yea this is exactly how the system works for sure
Mar 15 2021 8:40PM
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WoFlowz
Posts: 7460 - Karma: 62,194
EPfanboyPlease elaborate


Can’t tell you on here eheath gonna get mad again

**This post was edited on Mar 15th 2021 at 8:42:57pm
Mar 15 2021 8:42PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 50994 - Karma: 154,502
Are you sure this wasn't just foreplay on some weird nser date night?
Mar 15 2021 8:47PM
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TRVP_ANGEL
Posts: 12360 - Karma: 113,434
too long, didnt read but judging by the title, I'm sorry that happened to you
Mar 15 2021 9:31PM
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ReturnToMonkey
Posts: 5676 - Karma: 61,134
TRVP_ANGELtoo long, didnt read but judging by the title, I'm sorry that happened to you


read it pussy
Mar 15 2021 9:32PM
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Casey
Posts: 7719 - Karma: 22,742
3 years for robbing a bank is like...not that many years, I am just saying!
Mar 15 2021 9:35PM
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iced
Posts: 3070 - Karma: 17,930
Casey3 years for robbing a bank is like...not that many years, I am just saying!

while im inclined to believe this was just an old person bullshitting someone who looks gullible, as I would do at that age, I would guess that as she "robbed the bank she worked for", it wasn't armed robbery. Probably just stuffing her hand in the cookie jar and then speed walking away.
Mar 15 2021 10:12PM
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signtime
Posts: 2244 - Karma: 20,216
Casey3 years for robbing a bank is like...not that many years, I am just saying!


icedwhile im inclined to believe this was just an old person bullshitting someone who looks gullible, as I would do at that age, I would guess that as she "robbed the bank she worked for", it wasn't armed robbery. Probably just stuffing her hand in the cookie jar and then speed walking away.


Did she stick up a teller with a gun? No.

She was working for the bank at a corporate headquarters, and they made a big payroll mistake and instead of paying back the money, she went on the run.
Mar 15 2021 10:38PM
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signtime
Posts: 2244 - Karma: 20,216
theabortionatorAre you sure this wasn't just foreplay on some weird nser date night?


Pshh I wish 🙄💅
Mar 15 2021 10:52PM
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Non_State_Actor
Posts: 4300 - Karma: 14,684
WoFlowzStill not as good of the story as that one girl from PC that eheath banged in the back of his grey Subaru full of Cheeto dusk covered seats


You've spent wayyyyy too much time "researching" in the "archives" of this site.
Mar 15 2021 10:57PM
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SurfinCow
Posts: 214 - Karma: 1,611
shoulda just gotten back on the chair instead of trying to outrun him
Mar 15 2021 11:09PM
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Casey
Posts: 7719 - Karma: 22,742
larilinesignDid she stick up a teller with a gun? No.

She was working for the bank at a corporate headquarters, and they made a big payroll mistake and instead of paying back the money, she went on the run.


Only thing I’ll say is, I couldn’t justify doing it for 50k. 500... maybe 5 mil- they’d never find me
Mar 15 2021 11:18PM
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signtime
Posts: 2244 - Karma: 20,216
BiffbarfAnd then everyone in the liftline clapped


Lol. Yall spend too much time on NS and not enough time listening to MILFs tell you their life stories.

**This post was edited on Mar 15th 2021 at 11:29:41pm
Mar 15 2021 11:26PM
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ASSholebomber22
Posts: 6594 - Karma: 69,635
larilinesignLol. Yall spend too much time on NS and not enough time listening to MILFs tell you their life stories.

**This post was edited on Mar 15th 2021 at 11:29:41pm


Covid's really put the brakes on riding the lift and interacting with randos :(
Mar 15 2021 11:40PM
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jompcock
Posts: 1301 - Karma: 9,630
This is why it is always important to keep a fistful of pocket sand at the ready. In case of goggles, mix in some sap or honey to give the sand some stick. If proficient, take routes through the trees as they can block the pursuers line of site without needing as large of a lead. It is a common mistake to head directly for the parking lot. Instead, find a safe hiding location while you prepare your getaway vehicle. This is a modified version of a getaway tactic I spoke of in another thread, but it is important that a pickup truck be placed in such a location that the escapee can ride directly into the truck bed. This will be easiest to achieve using a snow bank. It will help if the getaway truck has a truck bed cover in order to not get caught.
Mar 16 2021 12:07AM
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rojo.grande
Posts: 1362 - Karma: 11,045
WoFlowzStill not as good of the story as that one girl from PC that eheath banged in the back of his grey Subaru full of Cheeto dusk covered seats


EPfanboyPlease elaborate


why would anyone in their right mind want to know more about that? worried it might be you in that Subaru next?
Mar 16 2021 8:52AM
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partyandBS
Posts: 2859 - Karma: 43,226
Don’t let those power hungry yellow jackets red shot the ski bounty Hunter hahah.


i once heard s story that this guy had assaulted someone in Colorado Springs and fled town to the hills to Breck. Thing is he has his EpicMix app auto post check ins onto his Facebook so the cops instantly knew where he was. Tracked the lifts he was taking and met him at the bottom.
Mar 16 2021 8:53AM
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Obama_care
Posts: 581 - Karma: 2,758
WoFlowzStill not as good of the story as that one girl from PC that eheath banged in the back of his grey Subaru full of Cheeto dusk covered seats


where is this story
Mar 16 2021 12:41PM
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WoFlowz
Posts: 7460 - Karma: 62,194
Obama_carewhere is this story


Ns archives
Mar 16 2021 1:02PM
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skierman_jack
Posts: 1660 - Karma: 17,221
*beige Subaru
WoFlowzStill not as good of the story as that one girl from PC that eheath banged in the back of his grey Subaru full of Cheeto dusk covered seats
Mar 16 2021 2:11PM
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ASSholebomber22
Posts: 6594 - Karma: 69,635
Obama_carewhere is this story



I, like many others, have decided to come out with my story after witnessing such brave females come to this site to call him out. I share a similar story of encountering this despicable man. This is #MyStory

About a year ago I was chillin in O’shucks having some adult beverages. My girlfriends had all gone back to our condo (we were renting at red pines) to hit the pool but I was enjoying the night so I stayed. Some dude came and put his hands around my hips and whispered in my ears “hey honey have you ever heard of Newschoolers”. I was like wtf and pushed his arms off of me and stood up. When I stood up and turned around I was facing the closest thing to a troll I had ever seen. He asked me my name and if I wanted a drink. I told him to fuck off but he insisted. Ended up talking to him for a good bit and he bought me dinner. Said he was a big deal on some skier website called Newschoolers. Anyways when last call came I didn’t have a ride home. Realizing this he immediately jumped at the opportunity. I figured what’s the worst that could happen.

20 minutes later I was covered in sweat, Cheeto dust, and oddly colored semen in the back of a beige Subaru Outback. I figured the sex would hide the smell of ass and mold but his small cock only made it worse. He used his t shirt to towel me off and then we awkwardly got dressed in the dark. He didn’t even walk me up to my condo he left me in the parking lot. The next morning on my way out the door there was a note that said: HMU shawty XOXO -Evan Heath. It was left with a phone number I never bothered to text. Anyways I just remembered the Newschoolers thing and thought I’d look it up. Does anyone know Evan Heath on here?
Mar 16 2021 2:25PM
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WoFlowz
Posts: 7460 - Karma: 62,194
BiffbarfI, like many others, have decided to come out with my story after witnessing such brave females come to this site to call him out. I share a similar story of encountering this despicable man. This is #MyStory

About a year ago I was chillin in O’shucks having some adult beverages. My girlfriends had all gone back to our condo (we were renting at red pines) to hit the pool but I was enjoying the night so I stayed. Some dude came and put his hands around my hips and whispered in my ears “hey honey have you ever heard of Newschoolers”. I was like wtf and pushed his arms off of me and stood up. When I stood up and turned around I was facing the closest thing to a troll I had ever seen. He asked me my name and if I wanted a drink. I told him to fuck off but he insisted. Ended up talking to him for a good bit and he bought me dinner. Said he was a big deal on some skier website called Newschoolers. Anyways when last call came I didn’t have a ride home. Realizing this he immediately jumped at the opportunity. I figured what’s the worst that could happen.

20 minutes later I was covered in sweat, Cheeto dust, and oddly colored semen in the back of a beige Subaru Outback. I figured the sex would hide the smell of ass and mold but his small cock only made it worse. He used his t shirt to towel me off and then we awkwardly got dressed in the dark. He didn’t even walk me up to my condo he left me in the parking lot. The next morning on my way out the door there was a note that said: HMU shawty XOXO -Evan Heath. It was left with a phone number I never bothered to text. Anyways I just remembered the Newschoolers thing and thought I’d look it up. Does anyone know Evan Heath on here?


Say good by to your account if he sees this
Mar 16 2021 2:30PM
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ASSholebomber22
Posts: 6594 - Karma: 69,635
WoFlowzSay good by to your account if he sees this


@eheath
Mar 16 2021 2:35PM
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eheath
Posts: 60725 - Karma: 114,473
Biffbarf@eheath


imagine thinking i dont see something bro

that being said, idc if you guys really want to post that, its just a copy pasta with my name put in it...
Mar 16 2021 2:36PM
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GrandThings
Posts: 2855 - Karma: 27,712
eheathimagine thinking i dont see something bro


The eyes of the Lord are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good. "Proverbs 15:3"
Mar 16 2021 2:42PM
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eheath
Posts: 60725 - Karma: 114,473
GrandThingsThe eyes of the Lord are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good. "Proverbs 15:3"


its more like

Mar 16 2021 2:44PM
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WoFlowz
Posts: 7460 - Karma: 62,194
eheathits more like



You might wanna fix your sex Ed diagram it’s missing the clit
Mar 16 2021 2:47PM
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rojo.grande
Posts: 1362 - Karma: 11,045
WoFlowzYou might wanna fix your sex Ed diagram it’s missing the clit


he might never have found it
Mar 16 2021 3:03PM
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skierman_jack
Posts: 1660 - Karma: 17,221
“copy pastas” come from reddit

that masterpiece came from my massive brain
eheathimagine thinking i dont see something bro

that being said, idc if you guys really want to post that, its just a copy pasta with my name put in it...
Mar 16 2021 3:15PM
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eheath
Posts: 60725 - Karma: 114,473
skierman_jack“copy pastas” come from reddit

that masterpiece came from my massive brain


yeah they copy pasta'd ur huge brain
Mar 16 2021 3:17PM
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WoFlowz
Posts: 7460 - Karma: 62,194
skierman_jack“copy pastas” come from reddit

that masterpiece came from my massive brain


*Microscopic I’ve seen you try to read the signs at the top of the parks it’s like watching an illiterate 2 yearold
Mar 16 2021 3:20PM
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skierman_jack
Posts: 1660 - Karma: 17,221
What the fuck is a park smart I still don’t understand
WoFlowz*Microscopic I’ve seen you try to read the signs at the top of the parks it’s like watching an illiterate 2 yearold
Mar 16 2021 4:51PM
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dognuts
Posts: 2124 - Karma: 27,010
i still cant decide if any of this is legit
Mar 16 2021 8:12PM
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