XxAc1DtR1PxXThe bro and I where fucking round one day and this kid starts copying us. He seems funny enough to do a few laps with, so we do.
Little did I know this kid is a stage five clinger.... Fast forward a couple of days (today) I'm trying to have some chill laps listening to some biggie, but he constantly chats and won't stop following me no matter how hard I try to lose him in the trees.
And worst of all he is unsafe, he straight lines everything out of control and constantly cuts people off. He even crashed into a snowboarder at Mach 5 today.
Now he is messaging me on insta. Smh.
How do I lose this kid?
**This thread was edited on Dec 28th 2018 at 10:08:40pm
Here is an extract of "Chapter 3: Getting Rid Of Clingy 15 Year Olds" from "Satanworshipper's Guide To Getting Rid Of Annoying People On The Mountain".
List of items you will need:
- A knife (sharpened)
- 5 Candles
- A black ski mask
- A lighter
- A satanic bible
- Plastic gloves or old gloves
- Some weed
Brief instructions:
1. Bring all the required items on the list above.
2. Find this kid and take him up the chairlift with you.
3. Take him on a tree run and locate a completely secluded area covered by trees. Go past the "ski patrol zone ends here" sign, so that ski patrol cannot find you. Put on your spare gloves.
4. Take your knife and stab him in the throat. Make sure you don't get blood on your tall hoodie, that would suck.
5. Form a pentagram using the candles, gather branches and put them in the middle of the pentagram. Use the lighter to start a fire. Once there's a big enough fire, throw the body in. Throw your knife in there too, the spare gloves, and anything that got blood on it.
6. Chant some stuff from the satanic bible and everything should be magically sucked into a black hole appearing from the sky. There will be no trace of blood shed.
7. You may be a bit freaked out after this. Smoke a fat joint and continue on with your day. Ride park and forget about anything that happened that morning.
