Dearest NewSchoolers,
Are you are tiring of the capitalist system of living, and the insane crowds and expensive prices associated with skiing in capitalist North America? Are you sad because your home mountain did not receive enough snow this year, and is closing early? Are you looking to ski a new mountain in an exotic, uncrowded location? If so, I have a fantastic opportunity for you!
Have you ever considered skiing the Tieback Mountains in Glorious North Korea? Just a few miles from the seaside resort of Wonsan lies some of the best skiing in the world at Glorious Masikyrong Ski Resort, and I would like to extend you a personal invitation to come ski our extensive terrain and experience the ultimate in luxury accommodations. Masikyrong truly is world class. As an extra incentive, we have some of the best riding in the world, as you will never have to worry about the insane crowds and high prices associated with skiing North America. Because everything is socialized in Glorious Best Korea, lift tickets to Masik Pass cost less than 40$ per day. You could ski Masik pass for 4 days, and still pay less than a 1 day ticket to Vail!! This is one of the many benefits of skiing a socialist country.
Surely, you are tired of dealing with the crowded riding conditions of the South Korean dump that is your home mountain on a weekend? Masik Pass has received ample snowfall this season, and because the slopes are so uncrowded, there is plenty of powder for all! Masikyrong will keep the lifts spinning until the end of April! I would love to welcome you to experience the joy that is skiing in the DPRK. Although our rails may not be as extensive as the ones in North America, I can assure you the glorious snow surface and lack of crowds ensure that you will have an excellent time skiing in the DPRK. Once you ski "Masik Trees" and shred our champagne powder, you will realize that Masikyrong is the best skiing on earth.
The Democratic People's Republic of Korea is a genuine workers' state in which all the people are completely liberated from exploitation and oppression. The workers, peasants, soldiers and intellectuals are the true masters of their destiny and are in a unique position to defend their interests. Having mandatory equality all necessary is provided for citizen. Give Thank!
Yours,
Kim Jong-Un
Supreme Leader, DPRK
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