Over the past summer I was spanking five, six, eighteen times a day, anywhere and everywhere. It all but hit me when I went in for a Testosterone test. My T levels were so low that I was starting to lose my masculinity. I had this identity complex that endured for quite sometime. My estrogen levels spiked, I had a thing for soybeans and theater. I was always waiting to see how quick the guys could undress in the quick change area. It sucked though, being a backstage hand when you knew in your heart that you could act and dance. This alter ego all but lasted a week when I discovered a natural testosterone boosting food called the onion. For a little over two weeks I drank 8oz of pure onion juice in the morning. The problem was that my testosterone levels spiked to ridiculous levels that even hulk hogan would be scared of. Just a push up would tone my muscles. And then something absolutely incredible happened. I was just about to juice some onions in the morning when I felt this reluctant urge. When I say this, I don't mean to be weird but the onion looked at me. I got butterflies and it felt like love. It was a feeling that I have never felt before. I decided to take her to the movies. It was an interesting experience to say the least. Also, when I say onions give the best handjobs, I mean it. Yeah, it was kind of a windmill but that could of been more my fault. Anyway, I was getting the greatest looks. Guys were walking by giving her compliments. "Damn she sexy," stuff like that. I ate her in the end but it was probably the greatest day in my life. I now know who I am.
TLDR: I fucked an onion.