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March, 2024

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I just fucked with TSA

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TheStamos
Posts: 9311 - Karma: 910
And it felt really good. Normally I am the last to seek conflict but they where slacking and I had time. Chris, would make you walk 40 ft, one at a time to check your pass against you ID on one side while the other side of security was cruising. So when I got to the desk he said how are you ,I said "annoyed by the innifeciancy of the way you guys have this set up, why do you have to have someone walk one at a time 40ft to the desk, how long does that take." I don't know" That shit adds up man that's why we have all been in Line for an hour." Oh yeah, well your name on your ID is Nicholas, and on your boarding pass it's Nick. I'm gonna need a supervisor to approve this. " Are you fucking serious I laughed. So I stood there for 10 minutes while this Guido piece of shit yells across the security checkpoint at SFO with 1000 other people for a supervisor to approve that Nicholas and Nick are the same thing. I told them all they where doing a shitty job, but when I left I remembered how I avoid conflict so I made sureto say. "GOOD JOB BUD, WAY TO PROTECT
America.
I'm pretty sure I called him a fucking prick too. So fuck that guy, 90% of the TSA is alright in my book but one thing. You can tell that fuck how much he sucks, how shit of a job they are doing etc. As much as you want as long as you don't make a threat:) they aren't cops. They aren't even security guards.I had the time so fuck it,and in the end it was worth it. In closing, Kareem Abdul Jabar is in the house and I'm slamming 13 dollar beers. Peace.
Jun 10 2015 7:29PM
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270on420out
Posts: 7494 - Karma: 50,825
Coming back from Utah with mom.
Going through security.

TSA to my mom: "Ma'm your pass says Meg but your name is Margaret. I can't let you board"

"Uh Meg is short for Margaret"

TSA: "Not on my planet. Meg is short for margarine".
Jun 10 2015 7:35PM
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soulskier
Posts: 17805 - Karma: 3,821
The TSA is one machine I just don't understand

Always request a pat down
Jun 10 2015 7:43PM
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ryano
Posts: 4465 - Karma: 1,535
i fly between 20 to 40 roundtrip flights every year.. and I have yet to get stuck in security for an hour.. it usually takes me less then 15 minutes to check luggage, and get thru security. 25 minutes tops.

There are always two separate lines.. general passengers, then business select and TSA Pre Check. Those lines always go quicker.

You being a dick to the TSA Agent is just asking for them to be a dick back to you.

I frequently have pleasant "small talk" conversations with the agents, if you had to deal with pricks like you and inexperienced travelers who don't listen to a word you say all day every day, I'm sure that would put you in a bad mood too.

Yes, I get stopped all the time for a bag search, yes I get patted down every so often cuz the scanner buzzes, yes they've gone thru my bag and swabbed everything, yes my luggage has showed up all torn apart. Get over it.
Jun 10 2015 7:53PM
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.CJ.
Posts: 1507 - Karma: 3,657
I fucking hate TSA so much. 99% of the time they're retarded.
Jun 10 2015 7:55PM
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TheStamos
Posts: 9311 - Karma: 910
ryanoi fly between 20 to 40 roundtrip flights every year.. and I have yet to get stuck in security for an hour.. it usually takes me less then 15 minutes to check luggage, and get thru security. 25 minutes tops.

There are always two separate lines.. general passengers, then business select and TSA Pre Check. Those lines always go quicker.

You being a dick to the TSA Agent is just asking for them to be a dick back to you.

I frequently have pleasant "small talk" conversations with the agents, if you had to deal with pricks like you and inexperienced travelers who don't listen to a word you say all day every day, I'm sure that would put you in a bad mood too.

Yes, I get stopped all the time for a bag search, yes I get patted down every so often cuz the scanner buzzes, yes they've gone thru my bag and swabbed everything, yes my luggage has showed up all torn apart. Get over it.


I fly all the time bud, it was an international terminal and it was fucked, took me an hour the get the dumb fuck. And I felt like being a dick because the guy was being a dick. Didnt feel like sucking dick....like you usually do, today.
Jun 10 2015 8:02PM
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ryano
Posts: 4465 - Karma: 1,535
VizualComing back from Utah with mom.
Going through security.

TSA to my mom: "Ma'm your pass says Meg but your name is Margaret. I can't let you board"

"Uh Meg is short for Margaret"

TSA: "Not on my planet. Meg is short for margarine".




see. this is the crap they deal with every day, its something so simple, that people still manage to screw up. When you book your flight it says FULL NAME: FIRST, MIDDLE, LAST.

it doesnt say NICKNAME. if people just follow instructions, problem solved. I dont put my nicknames in the box, i dont have any trouble. simple as that.
Jun 10 2015 8:02PM
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ryano
Posts: 4465 - Karma: 1,535
TheStamosI fly all the time bud, it was an international terminal and it was fucked, took me an hour the get the dumb fuck. And I felt like being a dick because the guy was being a dick. Didnt feel like sucking dick....like you usually do, today.


the guy was being a dick by asking "how are you?" really?
Jun 10 2015 8:04PM
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SKI.ING
Posts: 2695 - Karma: 2,535
ryanoi fly between 20 to 40 roundtrip flights every year.. and I have yet to get stuck in security for an hour.. it usually takes me less then 15 minutes to check luggage, and get thru security. 25 minutes tops.

There are always two separate lines.. general passengers, then business select and TSA Pre Check. Those lines always go quicker.

You being a dick to the TSA Agent is just asking for them to be a dick back to you.

I frequently have pleasant "small talk" conversations with the agents, if you had to deal with pricks like you and inexperienced travelers who don't listen to a word you say all day every day, I'm sure that would put you in a bad mood too.

Yes, I get stopped all the time for a bag search, yes I get patted down every so often cuz the scanner buzzes, yes they've gone thru my bag and swabbed everything, yes my luggage has showed up all torn apart. Get over it.


I'm with Ryano on this one. And OP, aren't you supposed to be off the grid anyways?
Jun 10 2015 8:05PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51261 - Karma: 157,426
TSA = fucking useless. Get rid of them, just have a fucking metal detector, and well be fine. Won't be any less safe than we are now.

People are fucking paranoid. People act as if they're one second away from a terrrrrrrrrrissssst attack at any point. If you drive a car ever you're taking massively bigger risks in life.

I wish there was an airline called "shut the fuck up already airlines" where they were chill and there was no bullshit aloud/ stupid people got banned for life.
Jun 10 2015 8:07PM
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soulskier
Posts: 17805 - Karma: 3,821
theabortionatorTSA = fucking useless.


So much money has been spent to get there where they are today and so little is actually being accomplished

A whole lot of "looks like we're doing something"
Jun 10 2015 8:12PM
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TheStamos
Posts: 9311 - Karma: 910
Yeah , I was being a bit of a dick but they where doing an obviously shit job. Got a little frustrated after an hour of watching that dude eat shit at his job , my fucking taxes pay for that useless fuck harass me so I'm not gonna make it easy.
Jun 10 2015 8:17PM
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TheStamos
Posts: 9311 - Karma: 910
ryanosee. this is the crap they deal with every day, its something so simple, that people still manage to screw up. When you book your flight it says FULL NAME: FIRST, MIDDLE, LAST.

it doesnt say NICKNAME. if people just follow instructions, problem solved. I dont put my nicknames in the box, i dont have any trouble. simple as that.




THIS IS AMERICA, my name is Nick and Nicholas. I am a taxpaying US citizen, I have 0 criminal record and good credit. Why do we/I/You let these fucks treat my like I'm a piece of shit when I want to travel.Why do I get ordered by some dumb cunt with 0 power just to get on a plane. Fuck that shit. I'll tell that dude to suck your dick before i let him swab my hand for explosives. I'll say Ryano is coming he'll let you swab his hands , pat him down and he'll suck you off if you let him through in 15 cause he is super nice bud.
Sorry in restrospect, to many beers with kareem.
Jun 10 2015 8:31PM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,469
Damn dude so badass. You really showed him
Jun 10 2015 8:40PM
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ryano
Posts: 4465 - Karma: 1,535
TheStamosTHIS IS AMERICA, my name is Nick and Nicholas. I am a taxpaying US citizen, I have 0 criminal record and good credit. Why do we/I/You let these fucks treat my like I'm a piece of shit when I want to travel.Why do I get ordered by some dumb cunt with 0 power just to get on a plane. Fuck that shit. I'll tell that dude to suck your dick before i let him swab my hand for explosives. I'll say Ryano is coming he'll let you swab his hands , pat him down and he'll suck you off if you let him through in 15 cause he is super nice bud.
Sorry in restrospect, to many beers with kareem.



Sorry to burst your arrogant bubble dude, but it doesn't matter what country you're from, you have ONE (1) FULL LEGAL NAME. Nick names don't count on Legal documents.

and hey guess what, if they don't do the random checks and swabs, etc to everyone, guess what, they get called out or sued for racial profiling. Why? cuz in AMERICA we have a bunch of fucking self entitled pricks that get butthurt over the smallest inconveniences.
Jun 10 2015 8:41PM
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HamFaceGirl
Posts: 5242 - Karma: 2,679
ryanoSorry to burst your arrogant bubble dude, but it doesn't matter what country you're from, you have ONE (1) FULL LEGAL NAME. Nick names don't count on Legal documents.

and hey guess what, if they don't do the random checks and swabs, etc to everyone, guess what, they get called out or sued for racial profiling. Why? cuz in AMERICA we have a bunch of fucking self entitled pricks that get butthurt over the smallest inconveniences.


thank you
You guys are fucking idiots
Jun 10 2015 8:47PM
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S.J.W
Posts: 7609 - Karma: 31,182
Pretty sure only a terrorist would complain about the TSA. TERRORIST
Jun 10 2015 8:55PM
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270on420out
Posts: 7494 - Karma: 50,825
ryanosee. this is the crap they deal with every day, its something so simple, that people still manage to screw up. When you book your flight it says FULL NAME: FIRST, MIDDLE, LAST.

it doesnt say NICKNAME. if people just follow instructions, problem solved. I dont put my nicknames in the box, i dont have any trouble. simple as that.


My mom has gone by Meg since she was 5. Maybe instead if the TSA used a little fucking common sense, they wouldnt have a bad rap.
Jun 10 2015 9:03PM
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cornholio
Posts: 3952 - Karma: 3,057
VizualMy mom has gone by Meg since she was 5. Maybe instead if the TSA used a little fucking common sense, they wouldnt have a bad rap.


maybe your mom should change her legal name to meg if that's all she's been called since she was 5
Jun 10 2015 9:07PM
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S.J.W
Posts: 7609 - Karma: 31,182
VizualMy mom has gone by Meg since she was 5. Maybe instead if the TSA used a little fucking common sense, they wouldnt have a bad rap.


No it doesn't work that way. It's not Nickname- Last Name. It's FIRST NAME-LAST NAME. Stop complaining about the TSA because you're a dumb fuck and won't follow instructions.
Jun 10 2015 9:11PM
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000000000000
Posts: 843 - Karma: 1,552
theabortionatorTSA = fucking useless. Get rid of them, just have a fucking metal detector, and well be fine. Won't be any less safe than we are now.

People are fucking paranoid. People act as if they're one second away from a terrrrrrrrrrissssst attack at any point. If you drive a car ever you're taking massively bigger risks in life.

I wish there was an airline called "shut the fuck up already airlines" where they were chill and there was no bullshit aloud/ stupid people got banned for life.


Wellll.... A few pound of kush isn't going to make that bitch beep. Think drug trafficking and other forms of high risk profit would be attainable without tsa.
Jun 10 2015 9:22PM
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ANDR01D
Posts: 1181 - Karma: 3,319
ryanosee. this is the crap they deal with every day, its something so simple, that people still manage to screw up. When you book your flight it says FULL NAME: FIRST, MIDDLE, LAST.

it doesnt say NICKNAME. if people just follow instructions, problem solved. I dont put my nicknames in the box, i dont have any trouble. simple as that.


ryanoSorry to burst your arrogant bubble dude, but it doesn't matter what country you're from, you have ONE (1) FULL LEGAL NAME. Nick names don't count on Legal documents.

and hey guess what, if they don't do the random checks and swabs, etc to everyone, guess what, they get called out or sued for racial profiling. Why? cuz in AMERICA we have a bunch of fucking self entitled pricks that get butthurt over the smallest inconveniences.


HamFaceGirlthank you
You guys are fucking idiots


cornholioNo it doesn't work that way. It's not Nickname- Last Name. It's FIRST NAME-LAST NAME. Stop complaining about the TSA because you're a dumb fuck and won't follow instructions.

Jun 10 2015 9:48PM
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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,342
all those guys you interacted with are simply doing their job, given, its a really shitty job but fucking with them does nothing but make you look stupid.
Jun 10 2015 9:54PM
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ryano
Posts: 4465 - Karma: 1,535
VizualMy mom has gone by Meg since she was 5. Maybe instead if the TSA used a little fucking common sense, they wouldnt have a bad rap.


My god, are you that fecking stupid? Is the name meg on her drivers license?? No. Then write down the name that is on her drivers license or government ID.

ITS THAT SIMPLE.
Jun 10 2015 10:06PM
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cornholio
Posts: 3952 - Karma: 3,057
ANDR01D


do the animals also call your mom out for being dumb?
Jun 10 2015 10:06PM
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ryano
Posts: 4465 - Karma: 1,535
ANDR01D


Yea man, totally..

But hey guess what. When I follow some simple instructions, and try to be nice to people (even tho I may disagree with their reasoning), I dont get treated like a dick from TSA, or Police, or any other authoritative figure.

And IF they still treat you unfairly, or like a dick, THEN take it up with them after, by all means, lawyer up, sue the crap out of em.

And the only case they will have against you is you were polite, obeyed, did what you were told, etc..


But I guess you like being a dick and ignoring simple instructions, so you must like being treated like a dick, and making life more difficult for yourself.

Its America, and you're free to do that. Have at it.

As for me. I like being treated nicely and like to make things as smooth as possible. But thats just me I guess.
Jun 10 2015 10:15PM
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ANDR01D
Posts: 1181 - Karma: 3,319
cornholiodo the animals also call your mom out for being dumb?


Jun 10 2015 10:17PM
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270on420out
Posts: 7494 - Karma: 50,825
ryanoMy god, are you that fecking stupid? Is the name meg on her drivers license?? No. Then write down the name that is on her drivers license or government ID.

ITS THAT SIMPLE.


Common fucking sense. No one in this country has it anymore. 15 years ago it would have been brushed off like nothing.
Jun 10 2015 10:18PM
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ryano
Posts: 4465 - Karma: 1,535
VizualCommon fucking sense. No one in this country has it anymore. 15 years ago it would have been brushed off like nothing.


Apparently your mom has none. Because i would think common sense would be to follow simple instructions that CLEARLY say, "must match government issued ID"

Feel sorry for your mom. Its a shame, all that common sense. Gone...
Jun 10 2015 10:23PM
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270on420out
Posts: 7494 - Karma: 50,825
ryanoApparently your mom has none. Because i would think common sense would be to follow simple instructions that CLEARLY say, "must match government issued ID"

Feel sorry for your mom. Its a shame, all that common sense. Gone...


That was an honest mistake.
The TSA agent wasnt using common sense
Jun 10 2015 10:25PM
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schusson
Posts: 442 - Karma: 588
VizualCommon fucking sense. No one in this country has it anymore. 15 years ago it would have been brushed off like nothing.


15 years ago you probably werent even alive shithead.
Jun 10 2015 10:26PM
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270on420out
Posts: 7494 - Karma: 50,825
schusson15 years ago you probably werent even alive shithead.


Shut the fuck up kid. You're probably 17 and just graduated high school, so you think you're all high and mighty.
Jun 10 2015 10:27PM
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cornholio
Posts: 3952 - Karma: 3,057
VizualThat was an honest mistake.
The TSA agent wasnt using common sense


other countries are just as strict. don't be a dumbass and just follow the very simple instructions
Jun 10 2015 10:34PM
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cornholio
Posts: 3952 - Karma: 3,057
ANDR01D


i'll take that as a yes
Jun 10 2015 10:38PM
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schusson
Posts: 442 - Karma: 588
VizualShut the fuck up kid. You're probably 17 and just graduated high school, so you think you're all high and mighty.


Go cry to mommy that your panties are in a bunch over some guys on NS scolding you for being a peckerhead.
Jun 10 2015 10:44PM
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S.J.W
Posts: 7609 - Karma: 31,182
VizualShut the fuck up kid. You're probably 17 and just graduated high school, so you think you're all high and mighty.


"shut the fuck up kid you only just graduated high school"-kid who graduated like a year before him.
Jun 10 2015 10:45PM
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270on420out
Posts: 7494 - Karma: 50,825
S.J.W"shut the fuck up kid you only just graduated high school"-kid who graduated like a year before him.


Aren't you like 15?
Jun 10 2015 11:01PM
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S.J.W
Posts: 7609 - Karma: 31,182
VizualAren't you like 15?


Weren't you meant to ski naked but bitched out cause of your small penis?
Jun 10 2015 11:05PM
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270on420out
Posts: 7494 - Karma: 50,825
S.J.WWeren't you meant to ski naked but bitched out cause of your small penis?


So, yes you are 15.

And I never got the chance to do it.
Jun 10 2015 11:07PM
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S.J.W
Posts: 7609 - Karma: 31,182
VizualSo, yes you are 15.

And I never got the chance to do it.


yeah 15 inches deep in your mum
Jun 10 2015 11:10PM
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DrZoidberg
Posts: 5675 - Karma: 4,268
ryanoSorry to burst your arrogant bubble dude, but it doesn't matter what country you're from, you have ONE (1) FULL LEGAL NAME. Nick names don't count on Legal documents.

and hey guess what, if they don't do the random checks and swabs, etc to everyone, guess what, they get called out or sued for racial profiling. Why? cuz in AMERICA we have a bunch of fucking self entitled pricks that get butthurt over the smallest inconveniences.


My name is also Nicholas/Nick and I always seem to get randomly swabbed or checked.

itsaconspiracy.jpg or I look suspicious?

But yeah, every time I do anything where ID is important I use Nicholas. When I took the GRE some girl put her name as Vicky but she's Victoria on her credentials, and that almost made her not be allowed to take the test.
Jun 10 2015 11:12PM
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daOyster
Posts: 329 - Karma: 298
Since when are boarding passes legal documents?
Jun 10 2015 11:29PM
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S.J.W
Posts: 7609 - Karma: 31,182
daOysterSince when are boarding passes legal documents?


Since about September 11, 2001
Jun 10 2015 11:49PM
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las.
Posts: 1959 - Karma: 1,455
TheStamosDidnt feel like sucking dick....like you usually do, today.


Jun 11 2015 5:00AM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,469
ANDR01D


A troll doesnt admit they are trolling. Nice attempt at saving yourself though
Jun 11 2015 6:38AM
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Byron_tha_gr8
Posts: 4573 - Karma: 14,298
.Hugo.A troll doesnt admit they are trolling. Nice attempt at saving yourself though


Trolls are stupid.
Jun 11 2015 8:34AM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,469
L_BTrolls are stupid.


I agree
Jun 11 2015 8:42AM
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Titus69
Posts: 9327 - Karma: 17,742
The TSA is fucked in America, our authorities are way to strict and stressed about every little capable threat.
Jun 11 2015 8:47AM
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TheStamos
Posts: 9311 - Karma: 910
Sorry for the aggressive thread buds, sorry ryano. Haha just a hell of a trip.
Jun 11 2015 9:24AM
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Big_Spence
Posts: 16177 - Karma: 4,352
TheStamosIn closing, Kareem Abdul Jabar is in the house and I'm slamming 13 dollar beers. Peace.


did anyone address the baller-ass ending to this post? i only read this first few comments but for some reason i feel like this was overlooked due to OP's slightly buzzed/aggressive natured towards TSA. Also i feel your SFO pain....back in April i flew SEA->SFO->LAX and for some fucking reason i flew into the international terminal in SFO from SEA and it took me nearly 2 hours to get from international, out of security, back through security and into the domestic terminal. completely unnecessary.


Also are airports constantly under construction? every time i travel i hit at least one airport that is doing serious renovations.
Jun 11 2015 10:17AM
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Crispy.
Posts: 6102 - Karma: 7,626
I agree with ryano...though security lines can often be painful, they do a good job of preventing terrorism/crime. The TSA makes me feel much more secure when flying.
Jun 11 2015 10:57AM
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