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March, 2024

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How did you find out that Santa isn't real?

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Dobber
Posts: 1698 - Karma: 9,834
Title says all.
Dec 25 2014 9:43AM
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CaptainObvious.
Posts: 5711 - Karma: 20,627
This thread. Merry fucking christmas.
Dec 25 2014 9:57AM
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.FRY.
Posts: 5620 - Karma: 22,852
Wait...what do you mean he's not real? Fuck you OP!!!
Dec 25 2014 10:00AM
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numnuts
Posts: 395 - Karma: 1,150
When I was about 4 or 5 I had a nightmare and heard my parents downstairs and to my surprise they were setting up the presents and long story short I flipped my shit at them. That night is engraved in my head
Dec 25 2014 11:22AM
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FerrisBueller
Posts: 8280 - Karma: 5,173
jokes on you OP because santa is real I seent him
Dec 25 2014 11:25AM
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Kreech
Posts: 4178 - Karma: 3,024
Sometime in elementary school I heard about a study where some college kids figured out the exact speed santa's sleigh would have to go to get presents to all the kids in the world who celebrate Christmas. Turns out he would have to go so fast that his sleigh would spontaneously combust due to friction with the atmosphere...
Dec 25 2014 11:38AM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,469
was playing hide and seek with friends. found a closet full of presents that said to hugo from santa
Dec 25 2014 11:38AM
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JGWI
Posts: 2842 - Karma: 7,812
Caught my parents in the act.
Dec 25 2014 12:17PM
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JGWI
Posts: 2842 - Karma: 7,812
Caught my parents in the act.
Dec 25 2014 12:17PM
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sbarlett
Posts: 882 - Karma: 4,255
Found a magazine of my mom's opened to an article of how to keep your kids believing in Santa. Proceeded to rip out the page and show everyone in my class at school (2nd Grade). Everyone in my whole class went home and told their parents that I showed them that, and there was quite the drama from other parents to mine. Whoops
Dec 25 2014 12:28PM
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DrewPeacock
Posts: 1003 - Karma: 1,763
Was with the big kids at summer camp one day and they just straight up told me... dicks
Dec 25 2014 12:42PM
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El.Guapo
Posts: 2139 - Karma: 3,173
Kept trying to sneak out and see santa or hide under the tree and shit. Finally at abOut 3am my parents told me so I'd go to bed
Dec 25 2014 12:52PM
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edai
Posts: 4983 - Karma: 4,632
Set up Spy Kids motion detectors under/around my christmas tree/living room. Caught those fuckers red-handed, alarms blaring and all.
Dec 25 2014 1:03PM
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profa_212
Posts: 8633 - Karma: 32,533
eazy.Set up Spy Kids motion detectors under/around my christmas tree/living room. Caught those fuckers red-handed, alarms blaring and all.


Dude these things were the shit.
Dec 25 2014 1:13PM
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losh
Posts: 1126 - Karma: 4,691
when all the rich kids in my class got (get) like 2k worth of presents.
Dec 25 2014 1:14PM
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RoofDaRoofieDogg
Posts: 3090 - Karma: 1,989
I was raped by Santa and I thought I was pregnant with Santa's baby but when I gave birth to it, the baby looked just like my uncle who had stayed with us 9 months ago. What a crazy surprise to find out Santa was my Uncle!
Dec 25 2014 1:19PM
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Brule.
Posts: 3846 - Karma: 5,658
Thank u OP for spoiling it to me that Santa isn't real.

u should be ashamed
Dec 25 2014 2:21PM
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Substitute
Posts: 1375 - Karma: 2,270
eazy.Set up Spy Kids motion detectors under/around my christmas tree/living room. Caught those fuckers red-handed, alarms blaring and all.


Damn I remember those things... I had the one thing that could hear through walls and shit. Too much fun.
Dec 25 2014 2:29PM
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veng_m
Posts: 1267 - Karma: 2,720
santa really is real op, im 12 and i know because im a big kid now!
Dec 25 2014 2:54PM
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brend
Posts: 779 - Karma: 3,608
Back when I was around 8, I found a closet full of gifts with my name on them and from santa. It becomes a bit of a common sense thing that santa is not real after a while too.
Dec 25 2014 2:57PM
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milk_man
Posts: 5214 - Karma: 6,494
My parents never even made Santa a thing in our family. If you lie to your kids for the first 7 years of their life you sit on a throne of lies!

Dec 25 2014 3:09PM
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Blurst
Posts: 13577 - Karma: 10,168
just sort of figured it out on my own naturally.
Dec 25 2014 3:29PM
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Dobber
Posts: 1698 - Karma: 9,834
Brule.Thank u OP for spoiling it to me that Santa isn't real.

u should be ashamed


K
Dec 25 2014 6:22PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 36686 - Karma: 110,607
I think my parents got nice and fucked up before they wrapped our gifts one year, cuz when I went to unwrap dem shits, they still had the price tags on them. "Santa had to make a pit-stop a Kmart" my fucking ass.
Dec 25 2014 6:26PM
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Nikolaus
Posts: 863 - Karma: 995
put laxatives in the cookies
Dec 25 2014 6:36PM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,469
DeebieSkeebiesI think my parents got nice and fucked up before they wrapped our gifts one year, cuz when I went to unwrap dem shits, they still had the price tags on them. "Santa had to make a pit-stop a Kmart" my fucking ass.


YOur parents shop at kmart? Ha, peasants
Dec 25 2014 7:39PM
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.Rybak.
Posts: 9017 - Karma: 9,864
.Hugo.YOur parents shop at kmart? Ha, peasants


More like kmapart

(Came apart)
Dec 25 2014 7:52PM
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LoathesRaisins
Posts: 3612 - Karma: 4,735
Kid on the bus told me when I was in kindergarten. He was a shitty kid if I recall correctly.
Dec 25 2014 8:18PM
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soulskier
Posts: 17805 - Karma: 3,821
Just.Go.With.ItCaught my parents in the act.


That's hot
Dec 25 2014 11:11PM
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Rusticles
Posts: 2179 - Karma: 1,333
Taped a warlike talkie to the tree and listened to my parents
Dec 26 2014 1:50AM
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eheath
Posts: 61100 - Karma: 118,255
I figured that shit out when I was 6 years old cause im smart as shit. I was like "yo mom, santa isnt real right" and she was like "sigh yes you're right' and i was the dopest kid ever.
Dec 26 2014 3:10AM
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Stadtski
Posts: 972 - Karma: 3,349
My parents told me the easter bunny wasnt real and i figured it out
Dec 26 2014 7:18AM
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galaxia
Posts: 307 - Karma: 697
my dad dropped that bomb on me immediately before i had to go to a Scouts den meeting. Like, in the car park. Had to walk in there pretending everything is cool and shit but Im just giving everyone the 1000 yard stare like some kinda war victim
Dec 26 2014 10:44AM
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Daph
Posts: 5978 - Karma: 5,005
My parents never really raised me to believe in santa so it was more of a shock to me that people thought he was real
Dec 26 2014 11:33AM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 36686 - Karma: 110,607
.Hugo.YOur parents shop at kmart? Ha, peasants


A nigga never been as broke as me, i like that.
Dec 26 2014 12:01PM
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Mingg
Posts: 13936 - Karma: 48,465
I was like 7 and I was trying to figure out how the reindeer flew if they didn't have wings. I asked my mom and dad and they didn't give me a good answer. So I used the Internet to try to find out. I don't remember what came up exactly but it essentially said Santa wasn't real. So I printed out the page and confronted my parents haha. I got extra gifts that year, it was great.
Dec 26 2014 12:47PM
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lurking
Posts: 2220 - Karma: 6,786
SupremeGrocerI was raped by Santa and I thought I was pregnant with Santa's baby but when I gave birth to it, the baby looked just like my uncle who had stayed with us 9 months ago. What a crazy surprise to find out Santa was my Uncle!


Well then...
Dec 26 2014 12:52PM
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milk_man
Posts: 5214 - Karma: 6,494
pussyfooterI figured that shit out when I was 6 years old cause im smart as shit. I was like "yo mom, santa isnt real right" and she was like "sigh yes you're right' and i was the dopest kid ever.


At the age of 6 you probably already had at least 1,000 posts on NS
Dec 26 2014 1:54PM
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eheath
Posts: 61100 - Karma: 118,255
milk_manAt the age of 6 you probably already had at least 1,000 posts on NS


Well seeing as it was 1994 when I was 6, ns didn't exist. Good try but maybe you should stick to quality over quantity when you're trying to insult me. Empahsis on trying.
Dec 26 2014 1:58PM
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milk_man
Posts: 5214 - Karma: 6,494
pussyfooterWell seeing as it was 1994 when I was 6, ns didn't exist. Good try but maybe you should stick to quality over quantity when you're trying to insult me. Empahsis on trying.


Oh no you have misunderstood me. I don't try to insult you, i luv u
Dec 26 2014 3:04PM
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eheath
Posts: 61100 - Karma: 118,255
milk_manOh no you have misunderstood me. I don't try to insult you, i luv u


You believe in god so I don't love you.
Dec 26 2014 3:08PM
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milk_man
Posts: 5214 - Karma: 6,494
pussyfooterYou believe in god so I don't love you.


Lol and you call Christians intolerant.
Dec 26 2014 3:10PM
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ModMommy
Posts: 10719 - Karma: 55,326
I was like 12, and i saw the presents that santa had for us tucked away in my mom's closet.
Dec 26 2014 3:11PM
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SupremeDeity
Posts: 695 - Karma: 1,112
milk_manLol and you call Christians intolerant.


*cough*Crusades*cough*
Dec 26 2014 3:41PM
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milk_man
Posts: 5214 - Karma: 6,494
SupremeDeity*cough*Crusades*cough*


Yeah, because the Latin Roman Church speaks for all Christianity.. Not.
Dec 26 2014 3:54PM
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eheath
Posts: 61100 - Karma: 118,255
milk_manLol and you call Christians intolerant.


I didnt. I question things and when someone takes the bible literally, prays to god and goes to church I question their intelligence. Religion is fine, but people who take it too seriously (not saying you do,I'm speaking generally now) are sheep.
Dec 26 2014 4:25PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,141
pussyfooterYou believe in god so I don't love you.

Dude, I'm like, right here.
Dec 26 2014 4:29PM
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Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
probably hearing it at school, but i also remember half peeled off price tags and santa's writing looking a lot like mom's being a part of it.
Dec 26 2014 5:17PM
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SFB
Posts: 8895 - Karma: 26,346
ur mom told me when i was banging her last night
Dec 26 2014 9:33PM
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Dobber
Posts: 1698 - Karma: 9,834
SFBur mom told me when i was banging her last night


Did you per in her butt?
Dec 26 2014 11:44PM
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