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March, 2024

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Sharted my pants at windells...

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butterstickinc
Posts: 716 - Karma: 386
so one sunny morning at windells i was ripping some dank ass, STRAIGHT FILTH!  My group decided they wanted to take a Palmer lap and i was down with that.  So we get to the lift line (which was long as fuck with a bunch of ski racers in it) and i felt a nice fart coming so i gave a little push and BAM fucking shit in my pants.  My mind was racing like hell. like what do i do? My group was getting close to the front of the line but i knew i was not about to sit in shit filled pants on the chairlift because that would make the situation 100x worse.  So i yelled to my ginger coach, "yo im gonna go use the bathroom ill meet you guys up at the top."

So i find a port a potty right to the side of the lift get in the port a potty and look at all the gear I have on and just think fuck if i have to take all this stuff off its going to take forever.  So I put both hands in the little weiner hole and ripped the boxers off.  Luckily all the shit was contained in the boxers so i was gucci.  Also i was lucky because they were those shitty American eagle boxers with the white stretchy fabric around the top.  Anyways i got a clean rip of the fabric right off the stretchy fabric.  Then i just left the shit filled boxers inside the port a potty next to the shitter hoping that some little ski racer girl would set her helmet on it.

rode the rest of the day but naked in my snowpants with the american Eagle band riding up my chest.

Moral of the story, if you gotta shit while waiting in the palmer line dont let a fart slip, it could be a tragic experience.....




Follow me on twitter fuckbois @butterstickinc
Mar 30 2014 9:49PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 36658 - Karma: 110,389
i dont need to worry about sharts, i always fart in ur moms mouth
Mar 30 2014 9:53PM
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butterstickinc
Posts: 716 - Karma: 386
its aight only winners shart
Mar 30 2014 9:54PM
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KimJong-Illest
Posts: 883 - Karma: 3,108
some kid at my school did something similar to this in studyhall trying to be funny. He forced a fart, shit himself, and had to call his mom to come get him.
Mar 30 2014 9:55PM
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cornholio
Posts: 3952 - Karma: 3,057
pics or it didnt happen
Mar 30 2014 9:57PM
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Xanadoo
Posts: 729 - Karma: 1,237
youre lucky it happened in line for the lift.

happened to me when i was 13. I was heading up the lift at the end of the day with my dad and my dad asked me how i was feeling. my stomach had been a little off for an hour or so and i told my dad "this is gonna be my last run"

no sooner had i gotten off the lift then i decided to rip ass with catastrophic results. i shat my pants. a lot. it worst run ever, including the times i have concussed myself and the time i sprained my ankle. i had to ski down the whole run with dookie running down both my legs. had to throw out the undies, the long underwear and my socks. was able to salvage the snow pants. boots smelled like shit a week

moral of the story: never FUCKING EVER call last run. EVER




inb4 pics or it didnt happen
Mar 30 2014 10:00PM
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Xanadoo
Posts: 729 - Karma: 1,237
god dammit. when i started typing this hadnt been posted
Mar 30 2014 10:01PM
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cornholio
Posts: 3952 - Karma: 3,057
^ nerd
Mar 30 2014 10:02PM
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notspoicey
Posts: 1167 - Karma: 1,706
wow, i read this?
Mar 30 2014 10:02PM
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Xanadoo
Posts: 729 - Karma: 1,237
true

in other news did you come to this thread in hopes of providing tp for some bunghole?
Mar 30 2014 10:04PM
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butterstickinc
Posts: 716 - Karma: 386
I wish i took pics seriously the funniest shit i have had happen to me. Only proof I got is probably some little ski racer telling his or hers parents that there was boxers filled with shit in the port a potty. And the fact that i showed everyone the american eagle waist band around my chest. hahaha
Mar 30 2014 10:06PM
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cornholio
Posts: 3952 - Karma: 3,057
not this time, i just wanted to see some shart pics ;)
Mar 30 2014 10:09PM
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Xanadoo
Posts: 729 - Karma: 1,237
dont we all
Mar 30 2014 10:10PM
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butterstickinc
Posts: 716 - Karma: 386
next time i shart my pants ill make sure to grab a pic.
Mar 30 2014 10:18PM
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Jeebus.
Posts: 4904 - Karma: 5,822
red*
Mar 30 2014 10:21PM
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El_Barto.
Posts: 11630 - Karma: 24,465
I shit my pants for fun
Mar 31 2014 1:26AM
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butterstickinc
Posts: 716 - Karma: 386
that would be epic.
Mar 31 2014 4:16PM
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El_Barto.
Posts: 11630 - Karma: 24,465
that sounds like straight out of Jackass
Mar 31 2014 4:18PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51257 - Karma: 157,296
I used to run in high school and college. I also have some stomach issues. Here's a pic of my official last marathon ever

Click for larger image
Mar 31 2014 7:18PM
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freestyler540
Posts: 13044 - Karma: 18,264
rad*
Mar 31 2014 7:38PM
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Miomo
Posts: 4302 - Karma: 14,131
Whatever you say.
https://www.google.com/search?safe=off&q=shit+bricks&tbm=isch&tbs=simg:CAQSXxpdCxCo1NgEGgAMCxCwjKcIGjgKNggBEhDTAuoBgAHpAdgC8wLoAuQCGiCGks-ZiVozRN2oMvfylP3M0z2Pl6gqlkbXfnhvO2d_1NgwLEI6u_1ggaCgoICAESBOEop8gM&sa=X&ei=gAQ6U8qkKfi2sATym4HwDg&ved=0CCQQ2A4oAA&biw=1366&bih=667&dpr=1
Mar 31 2014 8:13PM
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Rossberger
Posts: 768 - Karma: 168
this is why you don't call last run
Mar 31 2014 8:31PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51257 - Karma: 157,296
Yeah man, shit went viral right after. I was scared to leave my house the first week. Then just kind of settled back into every day life. Still hear about it obviously but I've accepted it. What can ya do
Mar 31 2014 8:43PM
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Joshua.
Posts: 2957 - Karma: 6,229
Barret kissed an ugly girl though, so...
Mar 31 2014 8:57PM
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butterstickinc
Posts: 716 - Karma: 386
josh im pretty sure this was the session we were there with you lol...
Apr 1 2014 10:48AM
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heFF
Posts: 5786 - Karma: 4,456
sucks cuz employees gotta clean that up and deal with fuckers like you
Apr 10 2014 10:13AM
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butterstickinc
Posts: 716 - Karma: 386
heFFsucks cuz employees gotta clean that up and deal with fuckers like you


you mean the port o potty company that they pay to take care of it? well then yes they do..
Apr 10 2014 10:31AM
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whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,100
your website doesnt evin work u scrub
Apr 10 2014 1:45PM
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J_Berg
Posts: 562 - Karma: 2,031
I did this in line at sugarloaf in alta. totally shit my pants (I was skiing with the flu) hah and did the same. But couldnt get my boxers ripped cuz they were high quality hanes briefs so i had to rip that shit with my teeth. Love sharting
Apr 13 2014 12:16PM
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Charlie_Kelly
Posts: 11953 - Karma: 12,292
I like this kid. Fucking baller.
Apr 13 2014 1:25PM
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alesssandra_g
Posts: 20 - Karma: -8
.....boys....
Apr 15 2014 1:53PM
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-MK-
Posts: 3253 - Karma: 5,332
alesssandra_g.....boys....


Stop
Apr 15 2014 3:03PM
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Mingg
Posts: 13936 - Karma: 48,464
alesssandra_g.....boys....


my thoughts exactly haha
Apr 15 2014 3:10PM
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connecticunt
Posts: 842 - Karma: 1,525
When I was in the 5th grade my brother was in kindergarten and I we would see each other at recess. I was a fucking terrible older sister and loved to fuck with him so I would tickle or punch him in the gut to make him shit himself. I was able to do it 5 times before being suspended.
Apr 15 2014 4:37PM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,012
some girl shit her self on the dance floor of a party freshman year here

she didn't transfer
Apr 15 2014 5:10PM
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butterstickinc
Posts: 716 - Karma: 386
Peter.some girl shit her self on the dance floor of a party freshman year here

she didn't transfer


thats wonderful
Apr 16 2014 9:21PM
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JordanButtfart
Posts: 1013 - Karma: 3,027
alesssandra_g.....boys....


why u trippin bae?
Apr 16 2014 9:22PM
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Spiri7o
Posts: 2163 - Karma: 1,100
sooo proo
Apr 16 2014 9:48PM
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Parks.
Posts: 5612 - Karma: 1,093
alesssandra_g.....boys....


connecticuntWhen I was in the 5th grade my brother was in kindergarten and I we would see each other at recess. I was a fucking terrible older sister and loved to fuck with him so I would tickle or punch him in the gut to make him shit himself. I was able to do it 5 times before being suspended.


......Girls
Apr 16 2014 9:49PM
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DIX~
Posts: 4695 - Karma: 6,502
I like to shit myself whenever I get on the chair with a bunch of strangers and see if they say anything
Apr 16 2014 10:33PM
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