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Sticky Rails (new problem)

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John18_6
Posts: 7313 - Karma: 49,158
Searched for a good 30 minutes to make sure there wasn't already something about this but anyways...

I was going to go hit a popular handrail today that was very low risk and trickable. As i was checking the rail for any catch spots I noticed that it was extremely sticky. Not like rust sticky, but it felt like epoxy that had been dried for a day. It was cold and windy today and I've noticed other rails having this same problem on days like today.

My theory- someone waxed the rail (which was completely unnecessary because it slid really well without wax), and when the temperature dropped the wax properties changed and the rail got really sticky.

My question- What should I do to make it slide well again? Scrub it down with a wet towel? Steel wool?

Thanks in advance for helpful answers.
Mar 22 2014 2:55PM
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Miomo
Posts: 4302 - Karma: 14,131
Goat semen
Mar 22 2014 2:56PM
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Lou.
Posts: 1787 - Karma: 3,876
Just havr your local park crew put a little more goat semen on
Mar 22 2014 2:56PM
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John18_6
Posts: 7313 - Karma: 49,158
Dammit, I don't know if you guys understand. I ran out of Goat Semen last week. And I'm too broke to buy any more.
Mar 22 2014 2:58PM
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Miomo
Posts: 4302 - Karma: 14,131
Then just buy a goat.
Mar 22 2014 3:07PM
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caderobinson
Posts: 1193 - Karma: 4,770
Message me. I have a hook up
Mar 22 2014 3:09PM
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Paul.
Posts: 1558 - Karma: 10,552
Sneak on to a farm and get it manually
Mar 22 2014 3:13PM
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HungryHypocrite
Posts: 765 - Karma: 939
first post i can honestly say I lost at.
Mar 22 2014 3:24PM
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IBAM
Posts: 1954 - Karma: 2,351
1. Take stuff with wax removing properties (White gas etc)
2. Apply to rail
3. Take old wax off rail
4. Put temp appropriate wax on rail
5. Remove appropriate temp wax w wax remover
6. ????????
7. Apply goat semen
Mar 22 2014 4:03PM
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_____alfredo____
Posts: 1123 - Karma: 2,503
maybe its an aluminium rail pal
Mar 22 2014 4:50PM
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Mr.Gaga
Posts: 2021 - Karma: 542
Goat semen work on aluminium too.
Mar 22 2014 6:03PM
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goat00
Posts: 240 - Karma: 528
i heard you guys needed some semen?
Mar 22 2014 7:13PM
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ebonyzebra
Posts: 44 - Karma: 62
I think you need more goat semen on your skis, ask other people hitting that rail and see how much goat semen they put on theirs. Remember though one gallon of goat semen is a half gallon of armadillo semen. I use only the finest grade armadillo semen and I have never had a problem with any rail.
Mar 22 2014 7:30PM
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Hoffman_
Posts: 153 - Karma: 277
armadillo semen is the secret to Henrik Harlaut's nosebutters
Mar 22 2014 7:40PM
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CRiP
Posts: 1323 - Karma: 482
a pint a of goat semen should do the trick. Remember to spray it on the kicker with your mouth like all the cool kids do
Mar 22 2014 7:41PM
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A.Haydenluck
Posts: 80 - Karma: 1,423
at my hill all the snowboarders spray tanning oil on the tubes and it actually makes everything slide really well you could try that
Mar 22 2014 8:59PM
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John18_6
Posts: 7313 - Karma: 49,158
It's not aluminum, I'm not an idiot.
Mar 22 2014 9:17PM
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cp_7
Posts: 372 - Karma: 1,301
I only use the finest armadillo semen.
Mar 22 2014 9:28PM
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*YungBuckwheat*
Posts: 474 - Karma: 893
You don't have a EBSSK (emergency backup seamen supply kit)?
Mar 22 2014 9:52PM
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raymondcabral
Posts: 747 - Karma: 1,094
What kind of person doesn't carry one with them at all times?
Mar 22 2014 10:06PM
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equinn
Posts: 718 - Karma: 3,673
this thread is getting out of hand haha
Mar 22 2014 10:10PM
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Mr.Bishop
Posts: 22671 - Karma: 75,830
Kudos sir, I now have milk on my shirt.

Mar 22 2014 10:28PM
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ronin480
Posts: 200 - Karma: -1
This was definitely worth the time wasted! Hahaha
Mar 22 2014 10:40PM
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Wolfgang.
Posts: 807 - Karma: 866
File it?
Mar 22 2014 10:53PM
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,500
You'd be shocked how much animal seamen costs.
Mar 23 2014 12:02AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51261 - Karma: 157,412
I played the shotgun a beer every time somebody said semen game. I started the thread a somewhat coherent respectable person in my community, now not so much.

Thanks Obama
Mar 23 2014 12:12AM
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markc
Posts: 367 - Karma: 540
have you tried unplugging the rail waiting 30 seconds then plugging it back in. if that doesnt work were going to have to send one of our goats and his semen between the hours of 8 am to 9pm weekdays for the next year. yeahh thanksss
Mar 23 2014 12:21AM
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Kreech
Posts: 4178 - Karma: 3,024
You could try human semen, but I doubt it would slide as well. Nothing is as slippery as a nice slug of goat semen.
Mar 23 2014 1:40AM
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Noddard
Posts: 2649 - Karma: 3,821
A park crew member told me sometimes he puts sunblock on the rails and the slide like a charm... Don't ask me why it works but maybe you could test the theory? Let me know how it works.
Mar 23 2014 2:34AM
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mulz
Posts: 155 - Karma: 223
Or you could just find a farmer and jerk his off, that's what the real OG's do.
Mar 23 2014 7:44AM
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slaagmaster
Posts: 129 - Karma: 63
times change!!!! when i was a boy it was hot rails and sticky buns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mar 23 2014 9:45AM
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TACO-DOG.exe
Posts: 11986 - Karma: 12,239
sounds like you need the industrial goat semen applicator. it even has Bluetooth so you can set the control panel with your smartphone.
Mar 23 2014 10:22AM
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petersherno
Posts: 25 - Karma: 299
Sticky rails are Spatchy!
Mar 23 2014 12:53PM
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powerbong2000
Posts: 737 - Karma: 1,802
ONE MILLION GOAT SEMENS
Mar 23 2014 1:58PM
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littlelyonsman
Posts: 181 - Karma: 365
Is Obama on NS? This needs to happen? Should this happen?
Mar 23 2014 2:34PM
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N.A.R
Posts: 181 - Karma: 357
http://www.biogenicsltd.com/index.html
Mar 23 2014 2:44PM
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Dr.Dickless
Posts: 2620 - Karma: 1,392
Massage me, I have a hook up
Mar 23 2014 9:17PM
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ChillTeenDad420
Posts: 1858 - Karma: 5,512
alright check the spark plugs and do a compression test to make sure there isn't a leak. then you're gonna wanna change the goat semen, make sure its NOT synthetic, unless you've been using synthetic goat semen the whole time. refer to the rail's user manual for more details
Mar 23 2014 11:31PM
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GANGBANG420
Posts: 263 - Karma: 879
You can always just shove it up your ass and let nature do it's thing
Mar 23 2014 11:57PM
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John18_6
Posts: 7313 - Karma: 49,158
I was actually asking a serious question about how to take wax off an urban rail and all I got was goat semen. Thanks Newschoolers.
Mar 24 2014 12:48AM
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ChaseW
Posts: 267 - Karma: 177
metal scrapers work or even just take the edge of your ski unless its completely frozen on
Mar 24 2014 1:10AM
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milk_man
Posts: 5214 - Karma: 6,494
The handrail was obviously too popular to have you riding it
Mar 24 2014 4:44PM
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YungEz
Posts: 62 - Karma: 4,828
I usually order it offline from
http://bvboergoats.com/for_sale.html
Mar 24 2014 11:17PM
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Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,893
For real solution:

Click for larger image

If there is shitty old wax on a rail, a propane torch will cook it off in seconds.
Mar 24 2014 11:26PM
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gapersarefriends
Posts: 2158 - Karma: 4,269
yepppp i lost it
Mar 24 2014 11:27PM
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gapersarefriends
Posts: 2158 - Karma: 4,269
yepppp i lost it
Mar 24 2014 11:28PM
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Phil-X-
Posts: 7205 - Karma: 14,399
Some warm water + goat seman will take those stains right out
Mar 24 2014 11:31PM
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John18_6
Posts: 7313 - Karma: 49,158
Well that doesn't look malicious at all.
Mar 24 2014 11:46PM
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Schmaelzle
Posts: 272 - Karma: 546
Has science gone too far?
Mar 25 2014 1:16AM
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