God help us all...

Today, I have witnessed for the first time, a complete horror that was brought upon the human race. Dance Dance revolution... Younger kids... go back now, because this is disturbing as hell.

Now, I have been aware of this game 'Dance Dance Revolution' for some time. I never saw it in true action, I just saw it empty at the arcade when I'd go to play Alpine Racer 2. I usually went when noone else was around, so the arcade was empty. But today. I went to the mall on a day where there were quite a few people in the arcade. And I witnessed a horror not fit for the squeamish. An actual SCENE of people who play Dance Dance Revolution (which shall be known as DDR for the rest of the post)

This scene consisted of quite a few overweight people. And I don't mean overweight as in pot belly, I mean 450 pound men. Each of these people visit the arcade every day at the same time and have competitions on the game.

For those of you who don't know. Dance Dance Revolution consists of dancing to the beat of music touching arrows on the ground with your feet in time with the music.

So there I was, in the arcade, staring dumbfoundedly at 2 overweight men, dancing and jiggling on this platform, in exact rythem with each other, at a high rate of speed. While two other fat men, and a host of actual FANS of the game (which consisted of several sketchy looking induviduals) looked on and cheered.

After being traumetized as such, I asked my friend Alex about it. He stated that they have tournements, and he always sees them when hes at the mall. They are there every day usually. (He goes to the mall a lot, and you have to walk by the arcade to get to McDonalds)

I already had the though, 'This is fucking GAY!' in my head. I couldnt shake it. I was getting weak knees, and I felt the urgent need to puke. All I could think of was a league of giant fat men playing a dancing game. Was this some kind of underground culture?

I got home and decided to do some research. It turns out that they have real organized LEAGUES for the game. And that they have trick tips and such. And that there is a form of 'freestyle' DDR... now tell me... How the HELL do you FREESTYLE a video game. Even worse... how the hell do FATMEN manage to FREESTYLE in a game that involves RAPID MOVEMENT!

I am going to go back to the arcade soon and videotape these people so I can show everyone how rediculous it looks.

My GOD its terrible. This is probably the worst thing that Japan has brought down on the US excepting Pearl Harbor... In fact... it could be considered a DIGITAL Pearl Harbor. Think about this next time you go to your local arcade... Look for the nearest DDR machine... and watch for a scene. Because there are sites like NS for people who play DDR... and they have actual organized tournements.... and don't say I didn't warn you.

for more info, check out these sites

DDR Freak

DDR East
The bottom one is the one that has trick tips and other gay stuff
-Andy

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