Me: I can't wait to ski.
Society: Do you ski or snowboard? (looking nervous I'll say what they don't want to hear.)
Me: I ski
Society: Thank god. The young crowd needs to keep skiing alive.
Me: Yeah....but....I mean....I basically spend all my time with boarders. And I do a lot of what you don't like.
Society: Oh........so you're like a snowboarder.
Me: *slap the shit out of this asshole*
They call me Captain Obvious.
"Fuck them in their asses with dildos made of lava bees."