i hate it when people don't fully appreciate how mind fuckingly incredible and seemingly impossible technology actually is. for example, a little box of glass, metal, and plastic can tell you what your friends are doing thousands of miles away because FUCKING WIGGLY PARTICLES FLYING THROUGH THE AIR THAT WE CAN'T SEE ARE TELLING IT WHAT YOUR FRIEND TOLD HIS LITTLE MAGIC BOX TO TELL YOU. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. DOES ANYONE SEE HOW FUCKING INTENSE THAT IS? SOMEONE FIGURED THAT SHIT OUT AND NOW PEOPLE ACTUALLY HAVE THE AUDACITY TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT.
"Moble newschoolers is down. I guess I won't be able to check my personal messages to see if that fashionable jiberish or saga outerwear is indeed still available for me to purchase so I can be looking tip top when I'm spending hundreds of dollars to slide down a mountain owned by some billionaire. Hate it when that happens..."
"What you are feeling is a base burn. The toilet bowl cleaner probably has a really high pH , and therefore must be neutralized with an acid that has a really low pH. So basically, you just need to stuff your asshole with the most acidic shit you can find, battery acid, sulfuric acid, nitric acid, whatever you can get your hands on. its gonna be a chemical showdown in your asshole today my friend."