hahahahahah just found this one:
Saturday afternoon .... we exchanged glances , which lingered long enough to make me wonder . You : shorty, darker hair, expecting , no ring , green or yellow colored top, huge bag of pretzels. You're probably cravin' them (?) :-) Me : sorta tall white guy, black sweater over white shirt , several boxes of Triscuits (love'em !!) . Triscuits are like, half price at that place, it's crazy. Anyway, maybe we could get together some evening, mix our snacks up together in a big bowl , and spray some cheese whiz all over each other, all playful-like and reminiscent of a scene out of some chick-flick date movie. Life imitates art . My place or yours. I can also cook soup , or load DVDs into the DVD player , because I'm a useful kind of guy like that. Just don't treat me like a slave unless it's some temporary kinky role playing sex thing, and even then, I want a safe word.
I want to be upfront about something : If somehow you read this, and we connect....I probably won't want to be in the delivery room with you , even if we are deeply and truly in love by then. I get weirded out by birth scenes in movies....the real thing would likely send me running. I mean it's a beautiful thing and all, but the screaming and the blood, gaaaahhh !!!! And that "cut the cord" thing at the end, gaaahhhh !!
So weird because I just bought a new truck, and it has all these REALLY elaborate child-harness -saftey-belt-car-seat-super-strap things in the back seat. Seriously , like half of the owner's manual is instructions on how , and how not , to use these things. There's like, six buckles and ALL these belts and straps, I'm tellin' ya IT'S NUTS !! Anyway , I'll probably never use them unless we hang out, so that's probably a good reason for you to find this ad , read it, respond using the words "Cheese Whiz !!" as a subject line. Don't forget the exclamation points (!)
I'd post a photo, but I'd likely just get a bunch of pregnant wannabe girlfriends trying to horn in on your action , cuz I'm so smooth . I will just wait to hear from you instead.
I dont know, cuz i dont know, cuz i dont know... you know?