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A Thought On Suicide - WARNING - Seriousness Enclosed

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babysteeze84
Posts: 720 - Karma: 285

I just wanted to take a moment to remind everyone in that no matter what kind of problems you may be having or going through, there are many accessible facilities and qualified, trained professionals to help you in times of need or distress. There are always friends, perhaps a pastor or even a professor, who would be available for you to speak to and give guidance, or just listen, to the challenges you are facing. Some of you are "adults". This does not mean you are suddenly required or should have the ability to deal with everything that comes into your life on your own. Please know this is not a patronizing message, merely one to recognize there is nothing more tragic than those who feel a complete hopelessness and isolation in life and who take the ultimate vow of selfishness, and that no matter how isolated you feel, there are alternative ways to deal with depression or extreme challenges in life that may encourage erratic behaviors, like committing suicide. We have a short time alive and a long time dead, although sometimes it happens, there is never a good reason to speed up the process.

I lost a good friend today because he saw no way out. It hurts my heart and makes me sick. I don't understand and I can't help but wonder. I saw him just a few days ago, in class, smiling. We went out to the bar and shared laughs and drinks only a few weeks ago. He was a bright, funny, sweet-natured graduate student.

I just wanted to reach out to this community I'm a part of and remind the rest of you, even though we don't know each other and may never will, you are a part of something greater and your actions affect those who care about you. Please take care of yourselves and each other.

RIP to my friend, Michael Determan, you were a good man.

Nov 9 2012 7:15PM
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zues
Posts: 6434 - Karma: -5,332
you are attractive
Nov 9 2012 7:23PM
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babysteeze84
Posts: 720 - Karma: 285
Well, thanks. I appreciate that, mostly because you caused me to laugh out loud, and I needed that.
Nov 9 2012 7:25PM
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zues
Posts: 6434 - Karma: -5,332
sorry to hear about your loss, my condolences. (serious) can I make you feel better somehow? maybe you should come over, I'll cook you dinner
Nov 9 2012 7:27PM
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SpaghettiWizard
Posts: 2825 - Karma: 166
Sorry for your loss. Losing people sucks.
Nov 9 2012 7:27PM
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iSmokeweed
Posts: 4793 - Karma: 1,370
handling death is tough. i hope you are alright,

and please people dont post +vibes. its really gay
Nov 9 2012 7:29PM
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PeppermillReno
Posts: 4748 - Karma: -563
Sorry about that hope you feel better.
Nov 9 2012 7:29PM
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RRhighrider
Posts: 2137 - Karma: 1,105
I am really sorry for your loss. Suicide is something I will never understand. I know it is tough right now but try to remember the fun times and not to dwell on the reasons why. You should go be around friends and not drink away your sorrows. Trust me it doesn't work.
Nov 9 2012 7:32PM
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Mr.Sloth
Posts: 5091 - Karma: 13,469
A close friend of mine lost his brother to suicide. He learned a lot from it, took time to learn the reasons why, and came out a much stronger and wiser person, and I'm sure you can too.
Nov 9 2012 7:35PM
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theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
Sorry for your loss. Oddly enough one thing that has always helped me through tough times is strangers. If its on NS or whatever you are on online or just random person you meet. Sometimes a nice stranger can make you feel so much better. Could be a smile, friendly conversation with a stranger, or even on NS when you say how you feel and people genuinely care.

Remember that next time you see a stranger who looks down, give them a friendly smile, try to talk to them, but most of all just be nice. You never know how you may affect people.
Nov 9 2012 7:37PM
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babysteeze84
Posts: 720 - Karma: 285
Thanks to everyone. Sound advice. Things always seem a little bit better in the morning although the heartsickness is the hardest to cure.
Nov 10 2012 1:13PM
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*simba*
Posts: 9125 - Karma: 511
Most of the times it's not really 'remembering the fun times and dwelling on bad times.'
Depression is a legitimate problem...a chemical imbalance, and unless you realize and get help/medication, it doesn't get better. You spend your whole life in a haze that you can't break through. People think that it can't be fixed, and therefor end their lives to 'free themselves'.

Also, look at that last part you typed and then your signature. LOLs were had.
Nov 10 2012 1:19PM
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daannnnieel
Posts: 5163 - Karma: 4,293
My condolences. Suicide is probably the worst thing to deal with.
Nov 10 2012 1:21PM
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accualyisdolan
Posts: 3295 - Karma: -192
That sucks im sorry
Nov 10 2012 3:29PM
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NoBigDeal
Posts: 2790 - Karma: 629
good message to spread.

I know to many people who feel alone and sad the majority of the time. I myself have felt alone before. Almost everyone will go through a period of time where they are sad and don't know what to do. but there is always good things ahead, you just have to push through and seek help if you need it. There is always someone to talk to. A guidance counselor, principal, professor, parent, adult. anyone. even people on here.
Nov 10 2012 3:36PM
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Parrish
Posts: 8695 - Karma: 1,007
Sorry for your lost

keep your head up
Nov 10 2012 4:19PM
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CaelW
Posts: 400 - Karma: 108
I'm sorry for your loss. My one friend lost his brother and another lost his mom. It's a tough thing to deal with.
Nov 10 2012 4:46PM
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.Apex.
Posts: 2097 - Karma: 1,556
Really sad stuff, depression is really powerful, over looked and hard to peg. sorry for your loss
Nov 10 2012 4:56PM
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gnarschralped
Posts: 178 - Karma: 123

Nov 10 2012 4:59PM
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Skavengers303
Posts: 964 - Karma: 192
sorry for your loss. i had a good friend commit suicide a couple of years back. so i can sorta feel for ya.

try to focus only on the good times spent with your friend, and spend as much time as possible with mutual friends that will be sharing similar feelings. help each other through the loss.
don't fill your mind with ideas of blame. Beating yourself up over ideologies of what you or others could have done differently to change the circumstances, will just make things worse. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, and no one single event will lead to someone committing suicide. It is the culmination of many things. Therefore it is really no one's has direct fault.

Things may seem pretty down for you, and you probably have feeling that things will never be the same again. Just wait it out. within in time, you will be back on your feet. The brain is incredible in its ability to adapt, and you will slowly learn how to live your friends death. Never forget, just learn to accept what you cannot change
Nov 10 2012 5:28PM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
the most selfish, assholish, narcissistic, pussy thing you can do.

basically telling the world, and everyone in it to fuck off...permanently.

I have very strong feelings towards this.
Nov 10 2012 6:11PM
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*simba*
Posts: 9125 - Karma: 511
OP has very strong feelings towards this.
I have very strong feelings towards this.
A lot of people have very strong feelings towards this...

But your jackass, piece of shit comment is not needed in this thread.
Nov 10 2012 7:05PM
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.Apex.
Posts: 2097 - Karma: 1,556
I understand that and in situations of mothers and fathers abandoning children this way I agree. But you can't understand how your mind is working in these types of situations unless you've been there. It's wrong to judge because by nature we avoid dying and the feelings you have to have to want to end your life, no matter how misguided or unreasonable, shouldn't be looked down upon.
Nov 10 2012 7:20PM
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k-rob
Posts: 14217 - Karma: 2,890
as someone who has thought about it almost every single day for the last 5 years, has contemplated it for the whole of his life, attempted it more times than i care to admit, and had my life saved at least 3 times, i gotta say, my reasons aren't because i don't like the world. it's because the world doesn't like me. there are people out there who don't have anyone who loves them, or don't believe they do because nobody has the balls anymore to just outright say that they care about people. the world is not a nice place. people go through shit their whole lives, what's the point? not to mention mental disorders that cause these kinds of thoughts, of which i personally have 3, and have spent the last 8 months in therapy learning to cope. this isn't something that most people who know me even know about, because i don't trust them, and i can honestly say that if it wasn't for one single person out there who i truly believe cares about me, i would be dead right now. as far as everyone else goes, they would be better off without me, so by not killing myself, i am actually telling everyone else to fuck off. i have very strong feelings toward this as well, and i think you are ignorant and pretty close-minded on this subject. i could give you a million reasons to kill myself, i've had my whole entire life to think about it. i've only got one reason not to, and for better or worse, that's enough to keep going.
Nov 10 2012 7:54PM
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zues
Posts: 6434 - Karma: -5,332
i hear ya man. I have gotten pretty depressed at points, and to be honest its mostly over women. having your heartbroken is probably the worst depression ever. I've had it happen to me and I've done it to a couple of people. honestly i'm at one of the best points in my life and theres no girl involved. just got a good job, taking classes towards my cpa, living at home, ski season starting. try not to look at it like the worlds against you. If you're against the world, the world will be against you. if you're with the world, it will be with you

there are times where i'm so depressed i get paranoid. i'm afraid to go in public and stuff. I get anxiety just from talking to people. I start sweating when i have to talk to someone i don't know.... My point is that everyone has funks. the key is to realize you're in one and get out of it. change your routine. do something you normally wouldn't do. stop caring what people think. I started eatign healthy and goign to the gym and its helped significantly.

now i'm on a hot streak and its been going on for a couple weeks and i just keep feeding the flame. i talk to attractive girls at work. (i used to be afraid they didn't want to talk to me?) now I don't care and i've realized they like to talk to me.
Nov 10 2012 11:30PM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
suicide is simply selfish. it means you only care about yourself. you choose a solution to your problem that helps only you and devastates everyone around you.

you are getting rid of your pain by forcing it onto those around you.

Nov 11 2012 10:03PM
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zues
Posts: 6434 - Karma: -5,332
i used to think like you. but when you experience depression theres really no worse feeling in the world. I've been depressed before, so I now understand how suicide becomes an option. It's really not something you can just fix easily.

you're a fucking asshole. try growing up
Nov 11 2012 10:18PM
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LiquorLanch
Posts: 1909 - Karma: 1,046
You honestly don't understand the issue, please take a few moments to understand why someone might be driven to suicide.
Nov 11 2012 11:02PM
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TZA.
Posts: 1462 - Karma: 181
WHEEEELS
Nov 11 2012 11:33PM
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theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
I really like the way you said that. Couldn't agree more.

And what you said about not caring about what people think is so true. The moment you stop caring about what other people thing and just do what makes you happy you feel alot better. I think its a confidence thing. So when you can build that confidence up and can just say forget what people think, I'm just gonna do me people see it and people like it.
Nov 12 2012 12:04AM
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Bogs
Posts: 4296 - Karma: 1,361
and if their is no other solution to the problem? because that's how it is for people who suffer from depression and contemplate/commit suicide
Nov 12 2012 8:07AM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
so they take their hurt, multiply it and place it on everyone around them...just so they can feel better. ya. that doesnt sound selfish at all?

Nov 12 2012 11:13PM
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KravtZ
Posts: 6637 - Karma: 2,629
my dad commited suicide in may...all you hotshots out there can talk and say what you want about it but until you know someone close to you who does it you have no idea why or how it affects people. Also have no idea unless you know someone why they would do such a thing.
Nov 12 2012 11:15PM
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7-3instacall
Posts: 999 - Karma: 1,005
very sorry for your loss

i cant express my true thoughts
id get judged,
but maybe he had a reason
maybe death isnt that big of a deal
Nov 12 2012 11:22PM
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Keenan_Jones
Posts: 436 - Karma: 175
Suicide is selfish. I get how people can feel that they're not wanted, not loved, not worth anything... Deal with it...Overcome it. Everyone has demons and everyone has, or will shortly experience horrible situations. What defines you as person/man/woman is how you can rise up and overcome/beat those terrible situation.

Life is EXACTLY what you make of it. Like it or not, there are people out there that care about you, and for you to say that isn't so, thats just a stupid thought you've kept saying to yourself over and over and over again until you actually believe it.

If no one cared about you then you wouldn't have been saved 3 times.

Nov 12 2012 11:31PM
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FreeskiThe603
Posts: 861 - Karma: 1,409
Don't get down on yourself. Your going through a tough time, but as i always say to all my friends when they are feeling down, think positive! Go out and live your life to the fullest. Always have your friend in your thoughts and prayers, but go out and live your life for him! My deep thoughts and prayers go out to you, your friends and family, and the victims friends and family. Stay strong!
Nov 12 2012 11:37PM
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Heart
Posts: 6156 - Karma: 3,462
I'm really sorry about your loss. I can't say I've ever lost a friend to suicide, but I'm sure it would be an extremely difficult thing to go through.

And californiagrown - not cool. As someone who has gone through depression and contemplated suicide many times in the past, you have no idea what you're talking about. Suicide isn't something that someone does because they are narcissistic, it's something they do because they feel that there is nothing in their life left to hold on to.
Nov 12 2012 11:52PM
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7-3instacall
Posts: 999 - Karma: 1,005
what if he had it all
and still found no joy in life

''yah well fucking be happy''

it just isnt that simple

still very sorry for your loss and for his family and friends
Nov 12 2012 11:59PM
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k-rob
Posts: 14217 - Karma: 2,890
like i said, that one person...
Nov 13 2012 12:29AM
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k-rob
Posts: 14217 - Karma: 2,890
and seriously, selfish? before calling someone selfish, maybe take a minute to think about exactly what it is you've done for someone that they should owe you their life.
Nov 13 2012 12:33AM
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PhilboydStudge
Posts: 3431 - Karma: 206
Shut the FUCK up you ignorant, bigoted asshole. This goes to Keenan Jones too, for the comments you guys are making are incredibly selfish and assholish yourselves. You don't know what your talking about, and your comments are uninformed, hurtful, and incredibly close-minded.

Depression is a medical condition in which chemical imbalances in your brain cause you to think differently than other people. Until you have gone through this yourself, who in the flying fuck do you think you are to comment in such a hurtful and unthoughtful way on suicide?

Californiagrown, I have seen your posts on here since I can remember. You are probably the most ignorant, close minded contributor to this site. I put up with your idiotic and unsubstantiated posts on other topics, but when you start spewing your mouth feces onto threads made by people dealing with a friend who just died, and with people commenting on their own issues with depression and suicide, I will kindly tell you to fuck off. I would hope you never post on this site again, unless you were able to escape your closed shell of stupidity, but I know that will never happen. So grow up, have some fucking sensitivity, and TRY to see opinions from other people's perspectives.
Nov 13 2012 12:37AM
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*simba*
Posts: 9125 - Karma: 511
It's already been said, but I'll put it in different terms.

Real depression doesn't work like this. Sure, you get all the kids in high school that say they have "depression" but in reality they're just super stressed and so worried about what the world thinks of them because they want to have friends and be popular.

Then there's the depression that isn't really controllable. Clinical depression controls you. it makes it impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel that everyone always says there is. My entire life I've gone through moments where I was so close to just ending it because I got trapped in an unavoidable feeling of emptiness and loneliness. You feel dead...but alive at the same time. And it can physically hurt. There sometimes were no events or reasons leading up to this...it just happens. You really can't control it. It's a real illness that people need to stop being ignorant about. Killing yourself...sure it's something you need to find help about like I did, but saying it's selfish? Don't fucking say it's selfish unless you've actually felt depression. I honestly wouldn't wish it upon anyone.
Nov 13 2012 12:37AM
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Steve-Brown
Posts: 1894 - Karma: 810
bro, you may never have expierenced these feelings before.
i've been givin up twice by 3 people, my birth parents who i never met, and my mom who pretended to love me and then after divorcing my father (which was "my fault ") she peaced the fuck out and wouldn't let me live with her. i've been dealing with alcoholism the past year already and was finally getting better and then i went for a drinking binge for the next 2 and a half months. this shit sucks and i've been dealing with it forever, i want to die and foresee nothing for me on this planet. but my lady is helpin me through it and so are my friends. i've tried to kill myself a few times before and fortunately i've been unsuccessful. idk this is just me ranting, but man you don't even get it obviously
and there's a ton of other shit that are factors to why i want to kill myself, but i'll save those for another day.
just realize that you don't get this
you're a pussy for not realizing what other people go through asshole
Nov 13 2012 12:39AM
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PhilboydStudge
Posts: 3431 - Karma: 206
TO EVERYONE ELSE: don't let assholes like californiagrown get to you. There are better, more caring people out there. I am always available to talk, as are many other members on here and in the non-internets world. Please, please, seek these people out if you need them. Great comment from someone on the world being against you or with you, try to always remember that.
Nov 13 2012 12:41AM
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Nurgle
Posts: 1249 - Karma: 15
Im sorry that they can't handle death. But oh sweet homo sapiens! So advanced that they can not learn to accept and deal with death, a daily occurence.

Get over yourself, if they are dead, they are dead, no amount of your grief or pain will ever bring them back.

Wallowing in pain and sadness is useless.

And yes, I have had to deal with it. 3 suicides from friends, 2 dieing from cancer, another from a drunk driving accident, along with random family members. You learn to accept that people DIE EVERY FUCKING DAY, AND THAT SITTING AROUND CRYING ABOUT IT IS USELESS.

In fact, the second best thing after never being born, is to be dead.

Plus, the last thing I was think in my Suicide attempts was, Oh this may upset [insert persons here].

Get over yourself.
Nov 13 2012 1:59AM
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Nurgle
Posts: 1249 - Karma: 15
You have got to be a fucking idiot. That or in middle school.

Hm, Im sure glad that people arent different, and developed differently. Im sure glad that people dont have different brain chemistry, some lacking seratonin levels, paranoia, happiness, etc.

But your right, I should overcome it. I guess having manic depression, and 10 years of abuse was a short horrible experience as you put it.

Fuck off.
Nov 13 2012 2:04AM
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Nurgle
Posts: 1249 - Karma: 15
Not numb, things can still make me cry, such as heart break, I'm just a realist when it comes to death.
Nov 13 2012 2:05AM
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Phil-X-
Posts: 7205 - Karma: 14,399
Well this thread went to the shiter way quicker then I thought it would. I feel strongly about suicide but lets not forget this is about het losing a friend. Im sorry for your loss OP, it'll get better
Nov 13 2012 2:40AM
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Bogs
Posts: 4296 - Karma: 1,361
if you really want to get technical, isn't it selfish for the people who care about someone who suffers from clinical depression to want them to stay alive and suffer through hell everyday just so they don't have to feel sad about them dying? why is that any less selfish than a person killing themselves?

and you act like a person contemplating suicide sits on the edge of a bridge and thinks "hmm...i could easily do x, y, and z and then feel better, but, nah, i'll just jump off of this instead." that's not what it's like.
Nov 13 2012 8:37AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51260 - Karma: 157,382
"take the ultimate vow of selfishness"

I don't agree with that at all.


Sorry about your loss though. Never a pleasant or easy thing to cope with. Don't forget to take your own advice and feel open to talk about it with other if you think that will help. There's no magic remedy, there isn't a time limit "You just have to make it one year and everything will go back to normal and you won't hurt anymore"

Just hang in there and do the best you can.
Nov 13 2012 8:50AM
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.Apex.
Posts: 2097 - Karma: 1,556
Best example for the phrase 'easier said than done'. I assume you've never really been in this degree of depression. You probably think in every frustrating or annoying situation what could happen or be done differently to fix it. There's times in depression where there isn't a thing on earth that you could imagine happening to help how you feel. That's where the hopelessness comes from and without being there it can't be imagined.
Nov 13 2012 5:38PM
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