Holy fuck you kids are retarded... (and google still works)

I just read through every thread on the first page, and with the exception of 5 of them, all were completely void of relevant gear discussion, or were asking questions it took me 30 seconds to answer on google. Jesus Christ kids, have you all smoked away your intelligence and self sufficiency away?

Another fucking update for you: when a kid or someone asks about skis, "get _____" or "Get _noun_, they are _adjective_!" are not fucking replies, they are a waste of bits and the time it took you to type them.

Doug, since you will likely (hopefully) read this, you want to change the perception of your average newschooler? Delete those stupid threads about Saga and 201_ outerwear. There are three types of people who take pictures of themselves to model clothing: gay people, wanna be thugs, and 12 year old newschoolers (not that there is anything wrong with any of those). It would probably help deleting the 99% of repeated threads that boarder on what should be criminal levels of stupidity.

Also, there are more boots out there than full tilts. Come in to the shop and ask for them, I will still sell them to you, but dear god I am gonna go to the back and make fun of you with my coworkers, because walking into a store asking for full tilts is indicative of having a double digit IQ score. It's ok to leave the store with a pair of them too, they are appropriate for some folks, like the type who can't find the front of their boots. It's appropriate for some people to move around with walkers and helmets too. Both types seem to leave similar levels of drool in their wake.

Also, it is not necessary to shorten every word to a single fucking syllable. As an individual past the first grade in a developed nation with a higher literacy rate than Nigeria, you are expected to be able to handle words with multiple vowels in them. I heard a kid refer to some Oakley goggles as 'oaks' and 'crisp' today. I have no idea with the similarities that Oakleys and an over cooked steak have, but I could not decide if I should laugh, or do his future kids a favor and kick him really hard in the balls.

If you want to have a gear discussion make it worthwhile, and stop asking dumb questions. Actually get descriptive, make comparisons based on experience, and for Gawd's sake don't use generic adjectives. There are hundreds of good if not great skis out there. I am fortunate enough to get to ski many of them. Guess what, I had fun all all of them. Saying "This ski was a lot of fun, it has a great flex" is fucking pointless. Instead try: I really enjoyed this ski on for its ability to pop well of jumps and ease of landing, the flex pattern featured a stiffer midsection than my _____, and I found the tips to have more spring to them as well."

And last but not least, use the fucking Google. 90% of your questions have already been answered, so be a self starter and look that shit up. Figure out how rouse the site search feature on google, bing, or whatever else you use.

If you are still reading, thank you for your time and now please go and politely fuck yourself into compliance.

Love,
Cobra.