Member of the Month

PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Jesus? Hurcules? Dinosaurs? Aliens?

profile picture
TheClap.
Posts: 21649 - Karma: 4,013
So while laying in bed (dislocated hip) I had a pretty interesting conversation today.

How can someone preach about god this god that, and they tell you that aliens are not real?

Jesus and Hurcules were most deff the same person, someone feel free to prove me wrong

and most importantly why in the bible is there nothing about dinosaurs? Because I can prove they existed and if I created dinosaurs I'd brag like no tomorrow. Shit if I was God I'd be like yall fuck me over I'll take you out like I did those god damn dinosaurs.

that is all

sidenote: I don't believe in god
Oct 16 2012 8:24PM
0 0
profile picture
Tamas
Posts: 550 - Karma: 842
Thats some real deep shit man. How much pain killers you on?
Oct 16 2012 8:26PM
0 0
profile picture
Aidan-G
Posts: 9411 - Karma: 10,798
Jesus was from Mars
Oct 16 2012 8:27PM
0 0
profile picture
JAHpow
Posts: 7282 - Karma: 17,161
There are dinosaurs in the Bible. It doesn't specifically talk about them but they're referenced. I'll have to look up exactly where.
Oct 16 2012 8:28PM
0 0
profile picture
BrewskiJr
Posts: 5738 - Karma: 1,478
How about you prove that Jesus WAS Hercules then I'll go ahead and rebuttal.... Go ahead..
Oct 16 2012 8:28PM
0 0
profile picture
JAHpow
Posts: 7282 - Karma: 17,161
http://www.clarifyingchristianity.com/dinos.shtml
Oct 16 2012 8:30PM
0 0
profile picture
Mr.Sloth
Posts: 5091 - Karma: 13,469
You deserve a pat on the back.
Oct 16 2012 8:32PM
0 0
profile picture
Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,844
all cats are girls and are dogs are boys, prove me wrong
Oct 16 2012 8:33PM
0 0
profile picture
TheClap.
Posts: 21649 - Karma: 4,013
A baller that was the son of God and its mother was a common human.

Jesus = Hercules
Oct 16 2012 8:34PM
0 0
profile picture
TheClap.
Posts: 21649 - Karma: 4,013
did you see my frontflip at Liberty? yeah dislocated my hip nbd nbd
Oct 16 2012 8:34PM
0 0
profile picture
roddy116
Posts: 10622 - Karma: 7,397
but what if he was...




































CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW?!!!11!!!!
Click for larger image
Oct 16 2012 8:35PM
0 0
profile picture
TheClap.
Posts: 21649 - Karma: 4,013
girls are bitches

bitches are dogs

girls = dogs

Dogs chase pussies

girls are pussies

girls = cats

so

cats = dogs
Oct 16 2012 8:36PM
0 0
profile picture
JAHpow
Posts: 7282 - Karma: 17,161
Here's a more in depth look and more trustworthy source - http://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/1999/11/05/dinosaurs-and-the-bible
Oct 16 2012 8:36PM
0 0
profile picture
roddy116
Posts: 10622 - Karma: 7,397
Click for larger image
Oct 16 2012 8:37PM
0 0
profile picture
TheClap.
Posts: 21649 - Karma: 4,013
jack sparrow drank n fucked hoes

jesus drank and fucked hoes

jesus made people walk on water, as did jack sparrow

jesus is most deff jack sparrow, a later version of Hercules
Oct 16 2012 8:38PM
0 0
profile picture
TheClap.
Posts: 21649 - Karma: 4,013
dont get it
Oct 16 2012 8:47PM
0 0
profile picture
Where-am-I
Posts: 1635 - Karma: 281
more trustworthy? i found them to be equally full of shit

"It is also reasonable to assume that different sizes, varieties, and sexes of the same kind of dinosaur have ended up with different names. For example, look at the many different varieties and sizes of dogs, but they are all the same kind—the dog kind! In reality, there may have been fewer than 50 kinds of dinosaurs."

trying to use dogs, a single species of animal which has been bred into an absurd range of size and forms, to justify why a few hundred years of paleontological research and classification is shit. lolz for dayz
Oct 16 2012 9:08PM
0 0
profile picture
JAHpow
Posts: 7282 - Karma: 17,161
^ seems to me what they're saying there is that all dogs are canines. That being said all the different kinds of dinosaurs are of the dinosaur specie.
Oct 16 2012 9:30PM
0 0
profile picture
Furrer92
Posts: 784 - Karma: 341
Reptiles....?
Oct 16 2012 9:34PM
0 0
profile picture
Cotter
Posts: 2546 - Karma: 850
hahaha love this.
Oct 16 2012 9:36PM
0 0
profile picture
Calb3rt
Posts: 6005 - Karma: 2,202
The vatican has already acknowledged the possibility of the existence of aliens... But as far as Hercules and jesus being the same person, that is silly. There is a large list of demigods in a number of different cultures so why do you think that it is specifically Hercules and not any number of the other demigods?
Oct 16 2012 9:37PM
0 0
profile picture
JAHpow
Posts: 7282 - Karma: 17,161
It's highly debated whether they were reptiles or not. I'm not going to say they are reptiles nor will I say they aren't, I'll just leave it at 'dinosaur specie'
Oct 16 2012 9:39PM
0 0
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 51252 - Karma: 157,271
Great thread title, was hoping for pictures. Still interesting
Oct 16 2012 9:41PM
0 0
profile picture
TheClap.
Posts: 21649 - Karma: 4,013
Hercules was on TV
Oct 16 2012 9:42PM
0 0
profile picture
Mr.Sloth
Posts: 5091 - Karma: 13,469
Fuck no I didn't, wondered why you dipped so early
Oct 16 2012 9:57PM
0 0
profile picture
Aidan-G
Posts: 9411 - Karma: 10,798
No, they're pretty sure they were reptiles. The debate is how closely this form of reptile was related to birds but they are definitely reptiles
Oct 16 2012 9:59PM
0 0
profile picture
JAHpow
Posts: 7282 - Karma: 17,161
Ok, thanks for the clarification
Oct 16 2012 10:03PM
0 0
profile picture
Parrish
Posts: 8695 - Karma: 1,007
I remember my first dose of pain meds.
Oct 16 2012 11:39PM
0 0
profile picture
pow_pow~
Posts: 1429 - Karma: 1,804
"The fact is that dinosaurs were created no more than one day before mankind, not many millions of years earlier—and we have evidence to support that statement"

i hate religious nuts. and that article.
Oct 16 2012 11:57PM
0 0
profile picture
Aidan-G
Posts: 9411 - Karma: 10,798
That's ridiculous
Oct 17 2012 12:00AM
0 0
profile picture
pow_pow~
Posts: 1429 - Karma: 1,804
religion is ridiculous.
Oct 17 2012 12:01AM
0 0
profile picture
Where-am-I
Posts: 1635 - Karma: 281
you have know fucking idea what a species is do you? let me help you out bro
Oct 17 2012 12:34AM
0 0
profile picture
Calb3rt
Posts: 6005 - Karma: 2,202
Dont forget about Xena. Jesus the warrior princess would be possible too then.
Oct 17 2012 2:41PM
0 0
profile picture
zues
Posts: 6434 - Karma: -5,332
the first sentence looks like

"i was playing in bed"

after i realized it wasn't this I stopped reading
Oct 17 2012 3:03PM
0 0
profile picture
Dr.Dickless
Posts: 2620 - Karma: 1,392
i totally didn't get that from the rest of your post
Oct 17 2012 5:23PM
0 0
profile picture
TheClap.
Posts: 21649 - Karma: 4,013
it happens
Oct 22 2012 8:14PM
0 0
profile picture
no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,267
traditional definition of an epic hero is a mortal who descends from an immortal. he's not jesus, just the son of horny ass zeus. if you go by that logic then there were many jesus's

hercules in greek means heroglory
Oct 22 2012 8:17PM
0 0
profile picture
danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252
Threads
Oct 22 2012 8:20PM
0 0
profile picture
Charlie_Kelly
Posts: 11953 - Karma: 12,292
after careful scruteny I have determined that this equation needs some minor adjustments:

girls are bitches

bitches are dogs

dogs are decendants of wolves

Liam Neeson hates wolves

Therefore Liam Neeson hates girls. (A)
------------------------------------

girls are pussies

pussies are cats

cats are devious

Hitler was devious

Therefore girls are Hitler. (B)
-------------------------------

guys have penises

dragons have penises

Therefore guys are dragons. (C)
----------------------------------

So if A+B=C-A than Jesus was clearly a velociraptor.

Oct 22 2012 8:29PM
0 0
profile picture
NotGhood
Posts: 2809 - Karma: 1,255
dial back on the pain meds there dude...
Oct 22 2012 9:48PM
0 0
profile picture
TheClap.
Posts: 21649 - Karma: 4,013
Some believe Charles Manson was a modern day Jesus

southern living
Oct 23 2012 8:38PM
0 0
profile picture
Dunnah
Posts: 1215 - Karma: 277
I may be wrong, but I don't think the church has a formal opinion denying the existence of aliens
Oct 23 2012 8:51PM
0 0
profile picture
midwestpowhunter
Posts: 2198 - Karma: 189
or dial it up... just sayiin
Oct 23 2012 9:01PM
0 0
profile picture
Ac31stuff
Posts: 557 - Karma: 10
Jesus was a real person ask any historian. You can say he wasn't the son of God but he was a real person just like Muhamed, Ceaser, Plato or any other person.
Oct 23 2012 9:16PM
0 0
profile picture
cheaaaaaa
Posts: 830 - Karma: 630
embed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SWvDHvWXok&feature=BFa&list=PL2E1F56682B39C20E
Oct 23 2012 10:09PM
0 0
profile picture
SpaghettiWizard
Posts: 2825 - Karma: 166
Aliens wrote the bible
Oct 23 2012 10:19PM
0 0
profile picture
act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
Today I watched a video in my biology lab that said that religion was based off of shrooms and shrooms are god and that aliens brought shrooms to earth.
Oct 23 2012 11:39PM
0 0
profile picture
_Garagely_
Posts: 1937 - Karma: 3,181
Wrong A squared + B squared = C squared. The square root of C is approximately 17.88536 so therefore Jesus was Hercules who was an alien and aliens are wolves that are just fucking with us but Liam Nesson hates them so they are secretive because they don't want to get their asses kicked by Liam Nesson and therefore because of this secrecy wolves are evolving back to dinosaurs that will fuck the pussies=cats=women so men will go extinct and women and cats will evolve back into hyperintelligent velociraptors that were the original gods and creators of Jesus and Hercules and aliens and wolves so the cycle will repeat. The bottom line is if ur a woman and you don't believe in Jesus you WILL get fucked by a dinosaur and have a hyperintelligent velociraptor baby.
Oct 24 2012 12:44AM
0 0
profile picture
majora
Posts: 860 - Karma: 157
thats dedication in a post
Oct 24 2012 2:02AM
0 0
profile picture
shreddenator
Posts: 329 - Karma: 28
The idea of a historical Jesus is certainly true. There was a Jesus of Nazareth who was executed in the typical fashion of the time, and he was interested in reforming Judaism. But the idea of Jesus as part of a holy trinity is impossible to prove historically speaking. There were alot of people claiming to be Jesus and alot of people claimed to be the offspring of a God (Caesar comes to mind). In fact the idea of a virgin birth came centuries later (the whole Bethlehem in a stable birth and census thing never actually happened at that time) ....Some of endeavors attributed to Jesus are tough to pin down, that is why there are some inconsistencies in the different accounts of the Bible. Hell there are thirty years of his life just left out entirely, wether this is intentionally ommited or just not recorded at all is unclear. The activities of the Caesars and Plato are documented much easier....So yeah Jesus of Nazareth was a real person, but the documentation of his life is not as clear as some people will have you believe.
Oct 24 2012 9:47AM
0 0
profile picture
uosdwiSrjewoH
Posts: 4220 - Karma: 121
amazing
Oct 24 2012 10:18AM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-4)